


wherever i go, you bring me home

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-01-26 16:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 70
Words: 48,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12561564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: a collection of short tumblr prompts.#70 - napping in the sunshine.





	1. two miserable people meeting at a wedding au

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thought i'd post all the things i write for tumblr.
> 
> title from [sweet creature by harry styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uD6s-X3590)
> 
> enjoy x

“You know the best man is supposed to enjoy himself, right?” Adam hisses through a smile. He’s keeping up appearances, but his eyes are burning.

Aaron just turns away.

It’s not that he’s not enjoying himself, exactly. It’s just that weddings are no fun alone. He tells Adam as much, takes a long swig of his beer and sits back at the table.

Everyone’s dancing by now, and he hasn’t seen much of anyone at the main table so far: he’s been too busy avoiding Finn’s advances, sidestepping the puppy eyes. It’s exhausting, quite frankly, and Victoria still sends him daggers when she sees – no matter how beautiful she looks in her dress.

He spends seconds, minutes, hours at the table. People buy him drinks, because he’s the best man, and he downs them quickly, but he’s not drunk. He can walk and talk and his vision is fine, and that’s why he sees the blond man drop into the seat opposite.

“Drinking alone?” The man smirks, eyes hooded and dark. A hot blush creeps up Aaron’s neck and he wants. It’s that simple.

“Something like that,” He hums, bringing the glass to his lips. He lowers his lashes, gazes up again, watches the man bite his bottom lip.

Well, this is what weddings are for, right?

The man coughs and holds out his hand, eyes warm and body expectant. “I’m Robert,” He introduces. His voice is gravelly. Dark.

“Vic’s brother,” Aaron breathes, shaking the man’s – Robert’s hand. “Heard a lot about you.” He adds a smirk onto the end and watches Robert sit back, assessing.

Robert blinks, once, twice, flirty and fun, and yeah, Aaron thinks, this is more like it. Better than a night with Finn, anyway. “Wonder if the things you’ve heard are as good as the real thing,” Robert murmurs, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip. He knows what he’s doing, knows what he’s doing to Aaron - he can see the telltale hitch in his breath.

“Guess we’ll have to find out, won’t we?” The younger man huffs through a laugh, but as soon as the words come out he’s tugged up from the table by Chas, swept up in the Dingles’ drunken excitement. He risks a glance over his shoulder, but Robert has disappeared too. Maybe onto his next fix, if the stories are anything to go by.

He doesn’t mind - the thought was nice but it was bound to get messy, and Aaron’s had enough of messy to last him a lifetime. Just look at Finn.

Chas sweeps him onto the dancefloor and he lets her with a grimace. He’s the best man, everyone wants a piece of him, so when Adam jerks around in front of him at some attempt of dancing, he finds himself laughing.

It’s overwhelming, though, the push and pull of all of it, of weddings, of the crowd with enough alcohol pumped into them to kill a cow. So he slips out of the barn door and into the cold night, stars sparkling above him. He reaches for the cigarettes in his breast pocket, beyond glad he still hasn’t quite kicked the habit, and when he lights up and draws in the smoke, he can feel the tension in his shoulders drop.

He’s so glad he hasn’t kicked the habit.

The smoke curls around his lungs and his head drops back against the wooden wall. He can hear the thud and feel the dull ache, but it grounds him. It keeps him calm. His eyes flutter shut and for the first time today, his mind is blank – no suits, no rings, no speeches. It just is.

“Why are you hiding?” An amused voice asks, and when Aaron opens his eyes, Robert’s stood closer than he realised. Under the moonlight, he looks pale, but he’s silvery. Shimmering. Incredible.

“’m not hiding,” Aaron sighs, taking a drag of the cigarette. He watches Robert watch his lips, sees his pupils expand a fraction. “It’s just- it’s overwhelming, innit?”

Robert dips his head and smiles, a tiny soft thing that has Aaron’s heard thudding against his ribcage. He’s scared it’s going to burst right out of his chest. “Yeah,” The older man admits, and then he plucks the cigarette from Aaron’s fingers and takes a deep drag. The smoke clouds around him, shining metallic under the midnight sky, and it surrounds him like a halo. Aaron knows better. Aaron knows it’s anything but.

Still, though, he sways forward, towards Robert, who’s right there swaying back. “Am I reading this wrong?” Aaron asks, unusually bold. It’s just that there’s something about Robert; something in the lines of his body, the way he moves. It’s screaming _kiss me_ and Aaron doesn’t have the heart to refuse.

“Aaron Dingle,” Robert murmurs, fingers catching in the lapels of the younger man’s jacket. “You’ve got no idea how good you look in that suit.” And then he takes half a step forward, nudges his nose against Aaron’s and kisses him.

Robert’s hands slide up Aaron’s chest and curve around his jaw, fingertips pressing into the fluttery pulse on his throat. The kiss deepens, and all Aaron can taste is cigarette smoke, beer and something warm – familiar. His fingers knot in the back of Robert’s jacket.

It feels like coming home.

“My flat is five minutes away,” Robert whispers, pulling back and resting his forehead against Aaron’s. He has a smile on his face, nothing like the smug one that Katie’s always on about. It’s sweet, gentle. Aaron smiles back and nods.

.

Robert’s flat – in the Mill, no less – is just a shell.

“I’ve only just moved in,” The older man laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks around. There’s furniture but nothing on the walls, nothing to make the place a home.

“I don’t mind,” Aaron says. It’s the truth. It’s not like he expects much out of Robert, anyway, so he just waits until the blond’s toed his shoes off and sweeps forward, brushing their lips together. It snaps Robert out of whatever’s going on in his mind and he pushes back, pushes Aaron against the wall and runs his tongue along his lower lip as his fingers unbutton his shirt.

It carries on like that all the way up the stairs, to the bedroom – fast but unhurried, deep but slow, shedding clothes until they’re pressed skin to skin. It sends a shiver down Aaron’s spine and his grip curls a little tighter on Robert’s hips.

He gasps when Robert pushes in, moans when Robert’s tongue is trailing down his neck, and cries out when Robert snaps his hips forward. The sex is nothing short of breathtaking, really, and his fingers tangle in Robert’s hair as the older man comes, biting down on his collarbone, and then he follows, spills over Robert’s hand with a drawn out groan.

“Christ,” Robert murmurs, curling his palm over the sharp edge of Aaron’s hip. He pulls the younger man in closer, fits their bodies together like he’s never done anything else. “That was…”

Aaron smiles and settles into the crook of Robert’s arm. He’s not usually a post-sex cuddler, but there was something about that that’s made sleepy contentment seep into his bones. He stays where he is. “Yeah.”

He falls asleep with the ghost of Robert’s mouth on his skin and a pleasant ache all over his body.

.

His mind fades to consciousness but he stays where he is, eyes closed and face tucked into the pillow. The sheets smell different but he thinks Robert straight away, thinks of the bruises on his skin and his hips. His mouth curves into a smile without his say so.

Five more minutes sounds good, so he buries his nose a little deeper, lets the memories of the night before play out. It was good, in a way sex hasn’t been for a while, and he knows he’ll be remembering it for a while.

A hand on his bare shoulder startles him out of the daydreams and fuck, is this Robert kicking him out? His walls shoot up. “You want me to leave?” He asks blearily, rolling onto his back and blinking up at the older man.

“What?” Robert breathes, eyes wide and shiny. His hair is flat against his forehead and he looks young, so much younger than he did in that stiff, expensive suit. “Do you want to leave?”

Aaron bites his lower lip, worries the skin with his teeth as he sits up. “Not unless you want me to.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” The blond murmurs, fingertips trailing down Aaron’s arm. His touch his feather light but the calluses are rough, and God, Aaron loves the contradiction. “Because I’ve just bought breakfast. Stay.” And Aaron fights back a grin, eyes searching Robert’s face.

It’s just… He has a feeling that if he stays now, he’ll never leave. And he doesn’t mind it all that much.


	2. editor/writer au

Aaron Dingle bursts into Robert’s life with a flurry of sharp words and wry smiles. He’s a freelancer - refuses to be tied down to one magazine, he says. Likes to spread his wings, he says - but he’s sought after, highly recommended. 

He’s one of the best journalists Robert’s ever met, if he’s being honest. 

He tackles tough interviews with a dry sense of humour, and difficult tragedies with a soft tone. He is malleable and changeable, and Robert loves him, so, so much. 

“You know the unspoken rule, Robert,” His assistant says sharply. Michelle is almost as wry, and takes no shit. She’s the exact kind of person that journalism needs - she and Robert are the perfect team. “You can’t get with one of the journalists.” 

She catches him looking, one time, at Aaron explaining his latest feature in detail. He has everyone hanging off his words, the tone of his voice, but Robert - Robert is hook, line and sinker. It doesn’t take long for Michelle to figure it out, and she corners him under the false pretence of coffee and a sweet smile.

“He doesn’t work for us,” Robert points out, thankful for that at least. He takes a sip of his syrupy coffee - his favourite kind, caramel flavoured and burning his tongue nicely - and smiles. It’s not smug, no matter what anyone else says.

“But you sure have been hiring him an awful lot,” Michelle says, eyes narrowed to thin slits. She is the walking embodiment of j’accuse but Robert just shrugs and shoos her out of his office.

.

He bumps into Aaron on the way out of his office. His plans were to go home, stick a meal-for-one in the microwave and catch up on Strictly, but his heart stutters at the same time as his mind does and he grips his folder tighter to avoid embarrassment. “Hey,” He breathes, taking in the younger man’s appearance. “Fancy a drink?”

“Yeah, actually… That’d be nice,” Aaron smiles, but it’s dimmed and quiet, nothing like usual. He looks weary, a faint distance to his red-rimmed eyes. He skin around them is grey and his lips are pale, and god, Robert knows that feeling all too well. 

They walk quietly to the pub across the road from the office, but Robert doesn’t mind - he’s listing all his best ice-breakers, conversation-starters and, at a push, pick-up lines, but he doesn’t think he’ll need the last one today. Aaron seems off, a sad air practically floating around him, so he lets Aaron sit at the table.

“Pint do you?” Robert asks, and when the younger man meets his gaze head-on, his heart catches in his throat.

Aaron smiles though, a little more real than the way he’d smiled at the office, and dips his head. “Pint’s good,” He confirms, fingers picking at the edge of the beermat in front of him.

“Wanna talk about it?” Robert asks, sliding Aaron’s pint across the table. The younger man catches it with a nod and takes a sip, then licks the foam from his top lip and pulls a face. “What’s wrong, I mean.” 

He raises an eyebrow, something that Robert had never mastered despite practising in the mirror to put Vic off, but he looks disinterested and flushed at the same time. The perfect journalist’s pokerface. “How come you noticed?” He asks, tearing the top layer of paper off the mat. 

“You don’t look good,” Robert admits. His fingertips dance across the table of their own accord, but he catches himself before Aaron can, and tucks his hands between his thighs. He was cold, anyway. That’s all. 

“You know about the case I’ve been covering?” Aaron sighs, because of course Robert does. He’s only the editor. “It’s just… It’s tough.” 

Robert knows that; nods solemnly. It’s a sensitive case - negligence from social services leading to the death of a child, at the hands of her own father. It’s disgusting and it makes Robert ill, but that’s why he called Aaron in: the way he handles these things is second-to-none, and you can’t make mistakes with it. 

Aaron blinks once, twice, then tilts his chin forwards in defeat. “It’s just bringing some things back from my childhood. All that… Everything that sorry excuse for a man did to her,” He sucks in a deep, pained breath, but smiles, tight and forced. “But I don’t want to talk about it right now.” 

“Alright,” Robert agrees. A distraction, that’s what Aaron needs. Robert is willing to participate. “Wanna hear my top collection of shit jokes instead?” 

It startles a laugh out of Aaron, like he wasn’t expecting the conversation to go like that, but he nods anyway. “Go on then,” He murmurs. The colour’s starting to return to his cheeks.

“Why is the sea so salty?” Robert asks, tilting his chin. This is his number one shit joke - saves it for parties and other incredibly tedious social settings. Aaron, though, he isn’t one of them. He’s one of the few things that Robert finds the quite opposite; this is fresh, new. Exciting.

“I don’t know,” Aaron frowns, like he’s trying to figure it out.

“Because,” Robert says, lowering his voice and leaning forward conspiratorially. “The land never waves back.” 

Aaron snorts out a half-laugh-half-groan, forehead resting in his palm. “That’s so bad, Robert,” He giggles, but his eyes are finally lighting up and his shoulders look a little less weighted.

“i’ve got more,” Robert grins, feels the accomplishment of Aaron’s laughter settling in his chest. “What do you call a cow that eats your grass?” 

This time, Aaron doesn’t even bother replying, just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“A lawn-mooer!” Their knees knock together under the table as Aaron laughs, bright and happy and sweet, and it flushes all the way through Robert. This feels like being wine-drunk, like pride, like a lazy winter morning snuggled in bed. It feels warm.

.

“Thank you for tonight,” Aaron says quietly, knocking Robert’s shoulder with his own. The older man had insisted on walking him home, especially after the day he’d had, so they’re walking side-by-side down one of the nicer streets of the city. It’s barely dark and still summer-evening warm, the sky painted in fingers of pink and purple. 

Robert turns his head, just a fraction, and watches the lines of Aaron’s face. He looks more relaxed now, less like he’s carrying the weight of the world. “Any time,” He replies and means it.

“No wonder you got the editor’s job so young, innit? What with your distraction techniques and fast wit,” Aaron says, crinkling his nose a little. He cackles through the last words and steadies himself when Robert shoves at his shoulder, and then stills. “This is me.”

The older man nods and stops too, glances at the house over the back of Aaron’s head. It’s nice, modest yet big, at the end of a long driveway. “I’ll let you get in, then,” He whispers, suddenly aware of the silence on the street.

He turns to leave, but Aaron’s fingers catch around his wrist, pull him back. “Robert,” He breathes. They’re so close, inches apart - Robert wills himself to not press the space away between them and do something stupid like kiss him. “I mean it, thank you. Do you… D’you wanna come in?” His teeth worry his lower lip but his eyes are dark, blackening with the sky.

It’s lust, Robert thinks. Lust, maybe mixed with something a bit deeper. Either that or he’s hoping too much.

“You know I shouldn’t-” Robert starts, but he takes a deep breath and traces his fingertips over the veins in Aaron’s wrist. “I want to, but I can’t break the unspoken rule.”

Aaron doesn’t look deterred, just smiles sweetly and places a hand on Robert’s hip. His thumb brushes over the skin that’s bared by his loose shirt, and he reaches up on his tiptoes, lips hovering next to Robert’s ear. “I don’t work for you,” He whispers, and then his nose drags along the line of Robert’s cheekbone and he kisses him, chastely but warm.

“You heard then,” Robert laughs, embarrassed. A flush spreads through his body but Aaron’s still smiling at him, like maybe he doesn’t mind.

“I did, and the point still stands,” Aaron confirms. “I don’t work for you.” And then he tangles their fingers together and pulls Robert backwards, up the drive, and kisses him until they’re breathless.


	3. "i'm done with being polite."

Thirty seven times. Thirty seven times, Aaron had counted, that Robert had asked him on a date, and today was going to be the thirty eighth. 

He can see Robert approaching the garage out of the corner of his eye, can hear his footsteps crunching the gravel under his feet, but Aaron doesn’t look up. He keeps his head down and carries on working on the car.

“Aaron,” Robert sighs, out of breath and looking a little crazed. He runs a hand through his hair - sending it sticking up on end - but otherwise stands still, hands shoved into his pockets.

“Robert,” Aaron mocks, peeling his gloves off and raising one eyebrow. “I told you, when you find a better way to ask me.”

He turns back towards the motor and works on tightening everything, to finish the job and go home, but a hand on his shoulder stops him. spins him around. “No, Aaron,” Robert hisses. “I’m done with being polite.” 

He crowds Aaron against the wall and something clatters to the floor, but that’s not important right now. What is, is the way that Robert’s eyes have gone almost black, with lust and determination and whatever else, and the way his hands come up to frame Aaron’s face, palms cupping his jaw. 

“What are you doing?” Aaron breathes. His hands rest on Robert’s forearms of their own accord, fingers tightening in the smooth material of his leather jacket, because this- this is what he’d wanted. No niceties, no wariness. Just this. 

“I’m done being polite,” Robert says, firm, and then sways forward and kisses Aaron. It’s hot and dirty, hard, his teeth digging into Aaron’s lower lip and his tongue brushing against Aaron’s, and the younger man shudders. He melts.

This. 

He kisses back with all he’s got, tugging Robert closer towards him until they’re flush - chest to chest, hip to hip. 

Polite isn’t something they’ve ever been.


	4. "god, you're so thick sometimes."

Robert sucks in a breath through his teeth. This is the second time it’s happened, and quite frankly, it’s getting a little ridiculous now.

“What’s that?” Aaron repeats, face scrunched up in a frown. He looks adorable, even if he’d punch Robert if he said it out loud, but that’s not the point right now. “What’s it for?” 

Robert snaps the box shut and turns away, looks out over to the sunset. He’d planned this to a tee - romantic picnic in the middle of nowhere, the sun painting orange and pink across the sky, nothing but the two of them and definitely no distractions.

“God, you’re so thick sometimes,” He breathes, swallowing the glass of champagne in one go. The air is heavy with the weight of the situation, the weight of Aaron realising, but as he goes to grab the champagne bottle, Aaron’s hand stops him.

“Is that…” Aaron starts, then trails off. His eyes are impossibly wide and a little shiny, mouth dropped open, and god, finally. “You mean…” 

Robert wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and nods, looking anywhere but at his boyfriend - at a loose thread on the blanket, a speck of dust on the linen inside the picnic basket, the grass rippling in the breeze. 

“Robert,” Aaron says. He sounds choked up, voice thick with emotion, and his fingers curl loosely around Robert’s wrist. It’s enough to make the older man look up, and he’s met with a cautious grin. “Will you marry me?” 

Robert puts the bottle down, shoves the cork back in, and then breathes for a second. “Let me think about-” He starts, but he’s cut off by Aaron pushing his shoulders back.

“Shut _up_ ,” The younger man hisses, but his face is lit up with joy, and he straddles Robert’s waist. “You can’t play it like that again.” 

The grass is damp beneath Robert’s back and he’s only slightly terrified of the bugs that could be crawling around his head, but with Aaron above him like this - it’s the only thing that matters. “Of course I’ll marry you,” He whispers, but it gets lost as Aaron mashes their lips together.


	5. "you are my everything."

Robert had been targeted - that’s what it was. Now he had no business, barely any contacts left to start again, and no motivation. It was the Whites. Robert just didn’t want to believe it. 

Aaron finds him in their home office, sat on the floor surrounded by boxes. He’s holding a piece of paper in his shaking hands, but he’s not looking at it. More looking through it. 

“Hey,” He whispers, kneeling next to Robert. He cups a hand around the back of the man’s head, makes him look up, and when he does, Aaron can see tears shining in his eyes. “Hey, you can start again.” 

Robert shakes his head, a tiny movement. “I’ve got nothing left,” He says, voice hoarse. It’s the first time Aaron’s heard him speak in twenty four hours - since it all kicked off. 

“You’ve got money,” Aaron offers - he knows it’s helpful even though it still causes arguments, but right now, he’s glad Robert has it. 

“It’s worthless without something to use it for,” Robert laughs bitterly, but he leans further into Aaron’s touch anyway. “I can’t believe they’d do this.” 

“The Whites?” Aaron asks. _You deserved it after what you did_ , is what he doesn’t say. _I know_ , is what Robert doesn’t say with his nod. “I’m sorry you lost it all. I know it meant everything to you.” 

Robert pulls away from Aaron’s touch and sits on his knees, facing Aaron for the first time. “No, Aaron, this is just superficial,” He whispers, fitting their palms together and tangling their fingers. “You are everything to me. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Aaron replies, using his free hand to swipe his thumb under Robert’s eye. 

“The business meant something,” Robert continues, half rambling. “But as long as I’ve got a life with you, I don’t need it. I just need you, Aaron, always.” 

Aaron smiles, leans forward to press a soft kiss to his husband’s lips. “You’ve got me,” He whispers. “Always.”


	6. "don't you ever say anything like that ever again."

_Robert smiles, a horrible thing that sits weird on his face, and his eyes are hazy like he’s drunk even though he’s not. “You’d be better off without me,” He mumbles, staring at a spot just above Aaron’s shoulder. “Everybody would.”_

.

“Aaron,” Robert whispers. The younger man startles awake - even though he hadn’t really been sleeping - and he tightens his grip around Robert’s fingers, squeezing to say _we’re both alive, we made it through the night_. “I’m sorry.”

Robert looks different in a hospital gown: pale, washed out. His hair is matted against his forehead and he looks exhausted, but god, Aaron’s just glad he’s okay. “Don’t be,” He murmurs, leaning forward to press a kiss to Robert’s forehead.

It was a long time coming, Robert’s breakdown - he’d been showing signs for months, and Aaron should’ve seen it. But he didn’t and he hates himself, the way that he knows Victoria hates herself too. “It was terrifying, Aaron,” The older man admits, squeezing his eyes shut.

He’s been in hospital for coming on three days now, and this is the first time he’s been fully aware. “I know,” Aaron agrees, because his heart still hammers against his chest every time Robert’s eyes glaze over. 

“I said some horrible things to you-” The older man admits, but Aaron breaks.

“ _Don’t_ ,” He stresses, remembers being in a similar situation not even eighteen months ago. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again. I’m not better off without you, I’m nothing without you, d’you hear?”

He brushes the hair away from Robert’s face and then the tears away from his cheeks, and then sits back down at a loss. “I can’t promise that,” Robert says, chin wobbling in a way that makes Aaron’s heart crack in half. “But I want to try.” 

“That’s enough,” Aaron murmurs, thumb rubbing over the cold metal of Robert’s wedding band. “All you need to do is try. One day at a time.”


	7. "my god, you're so beautiful."

It’s day four of Aaron’s cold, which means that three days of him pretending he’s fine and going to work have passed. Day four is the start of pathetic Aaron, red nosed and runny eyes. 

Robert’s already been to the chemist and bought half of the shop - Lockets for his sore throat and Strepsils in case his throat was really sore, six types of medicine for different coughs, Olbas oil for the bath, and aloe vera tissues. Aaron had looked at it with his nose turned up for all of thirty seconds, but then he’d fallen into Robert’s arms and murmured, “Thank you.”

He’s terribly clingy when he’s like this and Robert, well, he can’t say he hates it. 

“Rob,” Aaron groans from the bedroom, as if saying his full name proves too much effort. A coughing fit follows, and Robert tries not to run up the stairs but Aaron needs him. And it’d take a stronger man to slow him down.

“What’s up?” He whispers as soon as he enters the bedroom. He sets about clearing away the tissues and shredded packets of cough sweets, fills Aaron’s glass with fresh water.

The younger man huffs and pats the bed next to him. “I want a cuddle,” He says firmly, but his eyes droop like he’s shy about asking.

“Alright,” Robert grants, and he rakes his eyes over Aaron’s face and then- he stops.

“What?” Aaron croaks out, frowning at Robert’s stilled movements.

Robert takes in Aaron. He’s laying in bed, duvet pulled up to his chin - he looks tiny. His eyes are wet and his nose is glowing, hair gel-free and curling over his forehead, but it still makes Robert’s heart catch in his throat.

“My god,” The older man breathes, pulling the duvet back so he can climb into bed. He lets Aaron arrange himself, rest his head on Robert’s chest and pull Robert’s arm until their fingers are linked, and then he rubs soothing circles on Aaron’s scalp with his free hand. “You are so beautiful.”

“Shut up,” Aaron huffs, but Robert can feel his lips curve into a smile against his chest. “Feel better already, though.”


	8. "i came to say goodbye."

Aaron can sense Robert’s presence before he can see the man, but he doesn’t look up. He refuses to, instead, he keeps his head down and pokes his pen through the form hard enough to leave a hole. The numbers are swimming in front of his eyes. 

“Hi,” Robert says quietly. He doesn’t move any further, just stands in the doorway, one hand braced on the frame like he needs to keep himself upright. 

Aaron nods and glances up once; Robert looks like shit. There are dark smudges under his eyes and his hair is mussed, an arm around his waist like it hurts to breathe. “Why you here?” The younger man asks curtly. Better to get to the point, to rip off the plaster quickly. 

Robert shrugs one shoulder then looks away, at the ground. “I came to say goodbye,” He whispers, chewing on his lower lip. It’s move that’s so not like himself that it shocks Aaron, makes him stare for a second longer than necessary. 

“Where are you going?” Aaron asks. He taps the pen against his desk, and normally, Robert would snap and tell him to stop, but he just looks sad. He’s bringing a dull shadow over the room, a bad atmosphere. 

“I’m leaving,” He says, smiles humourlessly. “Before I ruin anyone else’s life.” 

And Aaron - god, he could refute that. He could lie and say that Robert hasn’t done anything like that, he could say that Robert has made lives better. But he can’t do that and he won’t, so he just nods. “Where you going?” 

“Anywhere but here?” Robert suggests, swaying slightly on the spot. When Aaron thinks he’s about to fall and gets ready to catch him, he stills, and drops his head. “I don’t want to go.”

The last words are a whispered admission, like Robert didn’t mean for them to slip out but couldn’t stop them, and Aaron’s heart clenches painfully in his chest.

“Hey, sit down,” He murmurs, tries on the voice that Robert used whenever he was having a bad day. He guides the older man into the chair opposite his, and then sits back down himself. “Maybe… Maybe you don’t have to go?” 

“I don’t think I’ve got anything keeping me here,” Robert admits, although he does hesitate before he speaks. 

Aaron lets a smile curve his lips - small and barely there, but enough for Robert to see. “Sometimes, you never know what’s around the corner. So why don’t you give it a chance, eh?” 

“Yeah,” Robert breathes, shoulders sagging with something like relief. “I'll think about it.”


	9. "of course i mind."

After-work drinks with Adam are always a bad idea. One pint turned into four, turned into shots and a taxi into town. It was a good night, though, and Aaron smiles to himself as he fumbles to get his key into the lock. He manages it on the third try, giggling to himself as he toes off his boots and opens the second door.

He shushes himself, but there’s no need, because Robert’s sitting at the dining table. He looks exhausted, eyes red-rimmed and hair sticking up in every direction, but he stands when he sees Aaron. “Where have you been?”

“I went into town with Adam,” Aaron slurs, remembering to dump his keys in the bowl on the side. He struggles with his coat, hangs it up and then watches as it falls to the floor.

Robert’s still staring, body completely rigid. His face, though - he looks furious, cheeks growing red. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He spits. “I’ve been worried sick.”

“Didn’t think you’d care,” Aaron shrugs, head hung. He doesn’t want to fight, not right now, when he’s had a great night. He doesn’t want Robert to ruin it. “Didn’t think you’d mind.”

“Of course I mind,” Robert hisses, crossing the room in four large strides. He takes Aaron’s face in his hands and tilts his head up. “I love you, you idiot. I’ve been waiting here all night. I’ve been trying to call you all night.”

The words sober Aaron up slightly, alcohol sitting at the bottom of his stomach. He feels sick suddenly. “I’m sorry,” He whispers, licking his lips.

“Please, don’t do it again,” Robert says. He sounds exhausted, begging, and Aaron closes his eyes against the force of it. 

“Alright,” He agrees, breath hitching when the older man nudges their noses together. He relaxes slightly when Robert kisses him - the night had been good but he’d been missing this, he always misses this - but Robert groans when he pulls back.

“C’mon,” Robert says, rolling his eyes. “You need to brush your teeth and go to bed.”


	10. "how can you even stand to look at me?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this drabble contains an explicit conversation regarding the dubious consent around the incident. if this is not your thing, please take care.

“Robert,” Aaron says softly. He stays where he is but reaches a hand out. He doesn’t know whether he’s going to take the vodka away or try and touch his husband. 

Robert flinches away anyway, holds the bottle closer to his chest, and then smiles. It’s cruel, twisted and horrible, and it doesn’t falter as he staggers a step back. “I hurt you,” He says. An observation: the sky is blue and the world keeps turning. “I hurt you in the one way I promised I wouldn’t.”

Aaron looks up towards the sky and blinks, focuses on the stars that he can’t even see through the dusty blue sky. It’s too early for this - for any of it - but Robert’s wobbling precariously as he leans over the bridge. “Did you want her?” He asks. The words feel bitter on his tongue, and maybe it’s a little sadistic, but he needs to know.

“How can you even stand to look at me?” Robert says, still smiling. It looks out of place on his face, too tight and too big, not real, but Aaron figures he doesn’t get to have a say in what’s right or wrong anymore. Not with his (ex) husband, at least. “I wanted to hurt you.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Aaron bites back. He curls a finger around Robert’s upper arm and lets his fingers bite into the flesh like his words did, and then he pulls the older man back - back from the edge, down to the floor, until they’re sitting shoulder-to-shoulder next to each other. “Did you want her?” 

Robert’s silent for a minute, breathing harshly, but he finally puts the bottle down and turns his head to look at Aaron. He’s not smiling anymore, eyes blank and mouth downturned, and his fringe flops over his forehead. “I don’t know,” He says, like the words are too big for his mouth. “I don’t remember.” 

“What don’t you remember?” Aaron asks. He leans in a little further, tries to transfer body heat or strength or whatever Robert needs, but there’s bile burning up his throat. He knows what Robert doesn’t remember. 

“Any of it?” Robert laughs, desperately, humourlessly. “I remember texting her, and I remember talking to her… But I don’t… I don’t know what happened after that.” He sounds ashamed about it, but he shouldn’t be. This isn’t his fault.

Aaron tells him as such. “It’s not your fault,” He says quietly, tilting his head to look at the older man. “But you know it’s not right, don’t you?” 

“Figured as much,” Robert admits. He closes his eyes and rests his head against the bridge, but the rise and fall of his chest is nothing but peaceful. It’s stuttering, sharp. “If I was sober, I wouldn’t have wanted her.”

“Then you didn’t drunk, either.” Aaron says firmly. He sees Robert nod out of the corner of his eye, and then tangles their fingers together. “But it’ll be all right.” 

“Will it?” Robert asks. He opens his eyes again, bottomless and so fucking sad.

Aaron nods once, stares down at their hands. “Yeah. Because you’ve got me.”


	11. "i must admit, i find that way too attractive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is basically unashamed smut, read at your discretion x

It’s gone midnight when he gets home. The sky is pitch black but the streets of the village are lined with twinkly Christmas lights, all shades of the rainbow. It’s nice, really. Aaron doesn’t like Christmas all that much, but he appreciates the sentiment. 

The lights are all out in the house, but Robert’s voice bleeds through the front door. He sounds pissed off, and Aaron can already imagine him pinching his nose and screwing his eyes shut.

“I swear to god,” The older man’s voice hisses. “If you don’t sort this out, I will end your career.”

A smile springs to Aaron’s face and he toes his shoes off, heading through to the kitchen just as Robert’s ending the call. “Bad day?” He asks, amusement tinging his tone.

Robert just glances up, eyes wide - puppy dog eyes, and he knows how to use them to a tee. “The worst,” He confirms. There’s a pout on his face, but he’d deny it to the ends of the earth.

“I need a shower,” Aaron says, pressing a kiss to his husband’s forehead. “Don’t be too long before you come to bed, yeah? I’ve missed you.”

Robert lets out a long-suffering sigh, drawn out and miserable, but he rises to his feet anyway. “I missed you too,” He murmurs, hands finding home on Aaron’s hips. His nose brushes along the spot under Aaron’s ear, the place he’s so fond of biting down on when he comes. “As it goes, I also need a shower.”

“Funny, that,” Aaron comments, raising one eyebrow and tilting his head. Robert’s eyes are bright and his cheeks are flushed, a sign of his previous frustration, but he’s grinning now, lighting up the room. “Lucky coincidence, I suppose.” 

“Nah,” Robert says honestly, swaying forward to drag Aaron into a short kiss. It’s wet and messy, but everything that Aaron’s missed over the past thirty six hours. “I just want to see you naked.” 

Aaron snorts and pulls out of his husband’s grip, starting up the stairs. “Come on then,” He sighs, but makes sure the smile on his face shows that he doesn’t mind. 

.

“Robert,” He groans. His head falls back against the pillows as he fists his fingers into the damp strands of Robert’s hair, and gets a moan in return. The vibrations around his cock liquify his spine. “God, I missed you.” 

What Robert doesn’t know is that Aaron’s been half hard since he walked into the house - hearing his husband like that turns him on. It’s a little embarrassing, considering whenever he sits in on one of Robert’s meetings he’s constantly hiding his crotch, but here, like this, he lays it all out.

“I missed this,” Robert purrs, pulling off of Aaron and climbing up the bed. He traces his thumb along the sharp curve of the younger man’s hip, leans forward to lick into his mouth. “I’m going to fuck you until you can’t forget me.”

I wouldn’t, ever, Aaron wants to whisper, but there’s something about Robert talking like that that makes him flush red. Embarrassment and a little bit of shame (the good kind), even though it makes his cock twitch. “Get on with it then,” He breathes instead, digging his fingernails into the nape of Robert’s neck as he pulls him down for a kiss. 

“Needy,” Robert hums, but he reaches over and pulls the lube out of the bedside drawer, and slicks his fingers up. “You ready?”

“Always,” Aaron says, smiling sweetly. His smile is lost when Robert pushes a finger in to the knuckle, when his mouth drops on a groan. He slides another one in, hooks his fingers and rubs against Aaron’s prostate. “I- I won’t… lie to you.” 

Robert drops his head forward and grazes his teeth along Aaron’s collarbone, trails his tongue along the vein in Aaron’s neck. “About what?” He whispers, nudging their noses together until the younger man’s mouth opens so he can kiss him. It’s hard and fast, and then he pulls back and stills his movement.

“Robert,” Aaron groans, trying to shift his hips back down. Robert just grins, dirty and nothing sweet about it, and makes sure that Aaron can’t move again. “Fine. You, talking like that… Turns me on.” 

Robert blinks, face the picture of innocence, but he curls his fingers again all the same. “Like what?” He murmurs. 

“Threatening people,” Aaron breathes. He can feel Robert’s nose dragging along his cheek, his tongue licking a wide stripe up his throat. “Talking like you’re- you’re powerful.” He breaks on a gasp as Robert pulls his fingers out, keens as he feels empty. 

He curls the fingers of one hand around both of Aaron’s wrists and pins them above his head. “I am powerful,” He reminds him firmly, then presses Aaron hard into the mattress with his hands, shoulders, hips. He lubes his cock up, nudges the head of it against Aaron’s hole. “Don’t you forget it.”

He pushes in in one swift movement, stealing the breath right out of Aaron’s lungs. “I won’t,” He gasps, back arching to chase the burn.

Robert drags a hand up his cheek and into his hair, tightens his fingers around the curls and then dips his head for a dirty kiss, tongue fucking his mouth as he holds Aaron down. “Best not,” He whispers, and then pulls out and slams straight back in.

The drag of his cock is teasing, burning Aaron up from the inside out, and he feels desperate, wanting. He’s been waiting all day, since he left, because all these hours without Robert sends him crazy. He wants Robert always, inside him and to be inside. He wants the bruises and the bite marks. He wants it to shine out of him.

And Robert knows – he always knows, fits his teeth around Aaron’s collarbone and sucks messily. Aaron can feel the skin blooming purple and red already, and it’s all that more sensitive as Robert’s pounding into him.

“I missed this,” Robert breathes, mouth right next to Aaron’s ear. He gasps as Aaron drives his hips down, meets Robert’s thrusts, and the sound imprints into the younger man’s mind. He saves it, to drag out when he misses this too. “I missed you.”

Aaron hooks a leg around Robert’s back, heel digging into the soft skin there, and he frees a hand to grab onto Robert’s shoulder, nails carving marks. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t need to, just curves his spine in an effort to get closer to Robert. It’s silent except for the harsh breathing, muffled groans and the slap of skin on skin. It makes it all that more obscene, and his cock throbs painfully, trapped between their stomachs.

“I love you,” He manages to gasp. The words tumble out from his mouth, unplanned but not unwelcome, and Robert whines, deep and long from the back of his throat. He tangles their fingers together, presses Aaron’s hand into the mattress and just goes for it, hips snapping erratically. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” The words are choked and half cut off by the messy kiss Robert plants on him, all tongue and teeth and no reprieve, and the older man manages to get a hand between them and curl his long fingers around Aaron’s cock. He pulls once, twice, in time with his thrusts, and then twists his wrist.

It’s enough, enough to have Aaron crying out, body shuddering as he comes with Robert fucking him through it. He can hear Robert whispering things, telling him that he loves him, but it sounds distant as Robert comes too, hips stilling as his hands grip handfuls of Aaron’s skin tighter.

Robert drops onto Aaron, face tucked into the curve of his neck as he trembles through the aftershock. Aaron can feel his muscles shifting under his skin, under his fingertips as he traces light patterns across his shoulders.

“So…” Robert says after a while, rolling off Aaron. He doesn’t go far, their heads still on the same pillow, and he darts forward to press a soft kiss onto the younger man’s lips like he can’t help himself. “I’m powerful, huh?”

He’s barely biting back a grin and it lights up his face – lights up the whole room. Aaron rolls his eyes but concedes, finds Robert’s fingers in the space between them and holds his hand like they’re teenagers. “I must say,” He muses, teasing. “I find it way too attractive.”

Robert laughs, a delighted happy sound, and shifts closer until they’re chest to chest, legs tangled. “I’ll have to keep that in mind,” He says, and kisses Aaron slow and soft – breathless.


	12. "i'm not leaving here until you admit that we could be good again."

“Just say it,” Robert sounds desperate. He’s begging, eyes wild and hair sticking up in all directions, and he looks like he’s going to jump out of his skin at any given moment.

Aaron pities him.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” He says instead, fighting back the urge to run. He keeps his eyes trained on a spot over Robert’s shoulder, tries to ignore the blush that’s creeping up his neck of his own accord, and remembers to breathe in and out, regular. 

Robert heaves out a frustrated sigh, pulling on his blazer. “We were good,” He says, fingers shaking as he smooths the material down. “We could be good again.”

Aaron blinks and turns his head, away from Robert’s sex hair, away from the crumpled sheets. He remembers it all too well - remembers how it made (makes) him feel - but he doesn’t want to. That’s the last thing he wants. “Robert, don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

In and out. One and done. Shag and bag, as Liv would crudely say. 

That’s all it’s meant to be. 

Except Robert keeps begging, keeps sighing and his lips keep quirking downwards. “Please,” He stresses, running a hand through his hair. He sits on the edge of the bed, inches away from Aaron’s sheet covered thighs, and doesn’t look away. “I’m not leaving here until you admit we could be good again.” 

The words hit Aaron like a tonne of bricks to the chest, and he struggles to breathe for a second. Air keeps catching in his throat, his fingers start trembling, and when he finally looks at Robert again, something cracks in his chest. “I don’t want to lie to you,” He says instead, ignoring the fact he already is and taking in the way the older man’s face falls. 

“Fine,” Robert sighs. He stands up and faces the window. The sunlight hits him and highlights his features, and Aaron thinks, I’m sorry, I hate you, I miss you. This is the last thing he expected Robert to say. “If that’s how you feel.”

He smiles humourlessly at Aaron as he rounds the bed, numbly, like he doesn’t care what could happen to him right now. “Robert,” Aaron says, rushed, the two syllables falling from his lips before he can stop them. “We could be good again… We could be. But I don’t know when that’ll be.” 

“Right,” Robert says, barely above a whisper, but the smile that’s appearing on his face is starting to look more real and his shoulders look less weighted. He curls his fingers around the door handle and pulls it open, but glances back at the bed, at Aaron. “I’ll see you later?”

The hopeful lilt to his voice is something Aaron could never refuse - so he doesn’t. “Later,” He confirms, and holds his breath until he hears the front door slam shut. 

He hopes ‘good’ comes sooner rather than later.


	13. "don't ever say something like that again."

Aaron in a hospital bed - it’s something that Robert’s seen before, but this time he does a double take.

He looks better, better than he did the day before but by no means normal. His cheeks are slightly flushed and he’s smiling, and the way his hair is curling over his forehead could make Robert believe (if he tries hard enough) that they’ve just woken up on a Sunday morning.

But. There’s always a but.

There’s terror still licking at the edges of his features, mouth downturned and eyes wild. He keeps slipping off into some dazed state, where his breathing speeds up and his muscles go still. 

Robert will always bring him back with a gentle touch and murmured words, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t panic. “Hey,” He whispers, ignores his heart beating against the confines of his chest. His fingertips drift across Aaron’s face, into his hair, and the younger man’s eyes finally clear. 

Aaron blinks once and then smiles, but it’s stretched too far and doesn’t sit properly on his face. Robert’s thumb moves down to smooth over his lips, to tell him he doesn’t have to pretend. “I think we need to talk,” Aaron admits - confesses. The words tumble out of his mouth all wrong, but he meets Robert’s gaze head on.

“About what?” Robert asks. Panic’s clawing up his throat, panic and bile, and he wants to beg, no, please don’t leave me, i couldn’t handle it, but this time it’s Aaron’s turn to thread his fingers into Robert’s hair. 

“Robert,” He breathes, voice serious. His chin wobbles as his eyes fill with tears. “If- If anything like that happens again, you need to leave. You need to get out, and save yourself.”

Water. Dark. Aaron. Car. Trapped.

Robert brings a hand up to his mouth and trembles through the wave of nausea that rushes through him, closes his eyes against the heat of Aaron’s gaze. “No.” He says forcefully, pulling away from his fiance’s touch. 

“Would you just listen, Rob-” Aaron starts, but Robert cuts him off by standing up. The legs of the chair screech against the linoleum floor, creating a sound that both of them cringe over.

“I would never leave you, okay?” He spits, pacing the short three steps between the top of the bed and the bottom. “I wouldn’t, and you wouldn’t leave me either. And you can’t force me to do anything. I’ll always save you first.” 

Aaron blinks up at him. He looks frustrated, behind the eyes, at the fact he can’t get up and move, but he does reach a hand out towards Robert. “I’m sorry,” He murmurs, when Robert sits down. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and joins their fingers.

“Please, don’t ask me that,” Robert continues. He’s bordering on begging, exhausted, but he needs Aaron to understand. “Don’t ever say something like that again.”

He drops his head forward onto Aaron’s shoulder, but he smells wrong, feels wrong. He smells like hospitals, feels like the scratchy cotton of the gowns. “Alright,” Aaron says quietly. He traces his fingertips along the nape of Robert’s neck. “I love you.” 

The novelty of that hasn’t quite worn off yet - and Robert’s head snaps up. He blinks, takes in Aaron’s tear-wet cheeks and tentative smile. He understands how much it took for him to say those words. “I love you more,” He whispers.

And means it.


	14. a very cheesy date + "tell me what you're thinking right now."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a second part to the [single dad au](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12308799) i wrote a while ago. it's not necessary but very helpful to read before this x

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” Robert says, hooking his foot around Aaron’s ankle. The younger man looks up, startled, fork hovering in mid-air. 

He lowers his hand and his gaze, stares at his plate, but when he glances back up his eyes are burning with emotion. “I’m thinking that I don’t know why you put up with me.” 

“I love you,” Robert says, smiling crookedly. He reaches across the table and takes Aaron’s hand in his. “I’m with you because I love you and I love Abi.” 

“Not exactly ideal though, is it?” Aaron huffs, his fingers tightening around Robert’s like he’s scared he’ll run if he doesn’t hold on. “A single dad to a four year old.” 

“Maybe not,” Robert says, raising his eyebrows. He watches the younger man take a sip of his beer, takes in the way his adam’s apple bobs and his lips are shiny and red. He’s never wanted anyone more. “But I’m pretty lucky, cause I got a two for one deal. Never thought I couldn’t love anyone as much as this, if i’m honest.” 

Aaron’s hands start to tremble, his eyes glitter with tears. “Yeah?” He asks, like he doesn’t know Robert’s answer won’t be yes every time.

“Always,” Robert confirms, signalling the waiter. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.” 

.

“Where we going?” Aaron asks, a hint of a complaint to his voice. He tugs his jacket tighter around his body, shivering in the wind. 

“You’ll see,” Robert smiles. He can’t do anything but smile smile smile. Aaron’s cheeks have flushed pink from the cold and his hair is curling from the force of the wind, and god, Robert can see his future right there. He wraps his arm around the younger man. “Here.” 

The view stuns Aaron into silence - or at least, that’s what Robert hopes it is - because his mouth drops open and he stutters out a soft sigh. “What’s this?” 

Robert pulls him in closer, tucks him under his arm and presses a kiss to the top of his head. He gets ready to bare himself. “When my dad kicked me out,” He starts, staring at the lights of Leeds city centre ahead of him. “I found this place by accident. I was walking - that’s all I could do. I had nowhere to call home, and no friends. The amount of nights I just… sat here. And I made a promise to myself.” 

“What did you promise?” Aaron asks quietly, words muffled from where his face is tucked into Robert’s chest.

“I promised myself that one day I’d make something of myself. I wanted to make myself proud - not dad, not anymore. This was for me.” Robert whispers. He risks a glance at Aaron and finds him staring back, eyes glistening with tears. 

Aaron clears his throat, but his voice is still thick with emotion. “Why did you bring me here, then?” He says tentatively, fingers curling into the lapel of Robert’s jacket.

“Because I’ve finally done it,” Robert says. He feels bold, daring - but this doesn’t feel like a risk anymore. He feels certain, for the first time in too long. “I’m proud of myself. Because I’ve found a family, and I love them, and I’ve got a future. And that’s why I’m still with you.” 

“Robert-” Aaron starts, but he’s cut off by a crack in his own voice. He reaches up on his tiptoes and kisses his boyfriend, soft and open-mouthed. His nose is cold against Robert’s cheek and his curls are tickling Robert’s forehead, and it’s perfect. “I love you.”

“I know,” Robert says sincerely. He lets himself smile again, lets the warmth of the moment wrap around the both of them. “I love you too.”


	15. both are drunk and happy + "as long as you're happy, i'm happy."

They stumble out of the bar, half propping each other up and half just wanting to be close. It’d been a good week at the scrapyard - good enough for a decent night out, but not good enough for a holiday. They’d splurged on a taxi, gone into Leeds for a meal, then onto bars.

It was enough for Robert, anyway. They hadn’t seen each other much, because good weeks meant more hours, and by the time Aaron was back from a scrap run out to wherever, Robert was in bed, and by the time Aaron woke up, Robert was at the cabin doing paperwork.

So. That was that.

“Tonight’s been good for us, I think,” Aaron says suddenly, voice louder and more confident than normal. He’s beer-flushed, with pink cheeks and wandering hands. “I’ve missed you this week.” 

“I missed you too,” Robert murmurs, nuzzling his nose against the sensitive spot behind Aaron’s ear. He’s been waiting and wanting all night, and now all he wants is to get in a taxi, get home, and get his husband to bed. “Shall we get a taxi?” 

Aaron huffs out a laugh and pushes Robert away. “I want food,” He decides, already starting over towards the kebab shop. “Can we get food?” 

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy,” Robert teases, following Aaron. He pays for the chips dutifully, follows Aaron back out into the street, and spots the taxi rank. 

“Fifteen minute wait,” Aaron says, crinkling his nose. He forgets his distaste in favour of the chips though, and starts eating without as much as pausing for breath. “What?”

“What?” Robert repeats, frowning. He leans back against the wall behind him and nicks a chip from Aaron, retracting his hand before the younger man can stab him with the plastic fork.

“You were humming,” Aaron huffs, turning slightly so he can angle his chips away. 

Robert blinks innocently at him. “Was I?” He asks, then resumes the humming, wildly out of tune and uncaring. The people around him start staring, but he ignores them. He’s only got eyes for Aaron.

“Don’t you dare-” Aaron starts, but it’s too late, and Robert pulls him in by the waist and leans forward, chin resting on his shoulder. 

“It’s such a gorgeous sight to see you eat in the middle of the night,” Robert sings, probably louder than he realises. Aaron flushes bright red and struggles to pull away, but Robert digs his fingertips in hard enough to keep him still. “It’s Friday, I’m in love!” 

“Goth,” Aaron huffs, rolling his eyes, but he turns his head enough to plant a quick, messy kiss on Robert’s cheek for his troubles. “Love you too, though.”


	16. the aftermath of a bad fight + “no, i love you too much to let you walk away like this.”

Robert’s still sitting on the sofa, eyes red and hair wild. He hasn’t moved all night, by the look of things, but he still hasn’t cried. He just looks lost, empty. Aaron’s heart aches at the sight, but it reaffirms what he already knows.

“I’m going,” He says simply. He doesn’t lift the duffel bag he’s holding, and he doesn’t make a move to grab anything from downstairs. He just stays in the doorway. 

“Going where?” Robert asks, but it looks like it takes effort for him to move his mouth. He glances at Aaron and his face falls even further, if that’s possible.

Aaron blinks and turns his gaze to the floor. “I don’t know,” He says, as honest as he can get. “But I’m leaving.” 

It’s like it finally hits Robert - his entire body crumbles and tears start to cascade down his cheeks. It’s one of the few times Aaron’s ever seen him cry, even in their six years together. “Don’t,” The older man gasps out, like he can’t breathe, like the word was painful. 

“I can’t- I can’t keep doing this, Rob,” Aaron sighs. He drops the bag he’s holding and picks at the skin around his fingernails. “You kissed someone else.” 

“I didn’t!” Robert shouts, standing up suddenly. The fight’s back in his body (maybe because he finally remembers what the week-long argument was about) and he takes several large strides until he’s in Aaron’s space. “He kissed me!”

“And that makes it any better?” Aaron scoffs, quickly backing up. He doesn’t want to be too close to Robert, doesn’t want to see his face. He’s scared it’ll reflect the cracks in his own. 

Robert runs a hand over his face. “I pushed him away,” He says firmly. He stands a little straighter, catches Aaron’s gaze, and the younger man finds it impossible to look away. “I pushed him away but you didn’t see that because it was a picture! You weren’t there!” 

Aaron scans his husband’s face, looks for any of the telltale signs that he’s lying. He knows Robert by now, knows his tics and his twitches, but his mouth is in a perfect straight line and his eyes are wide. Aaron gets it, now. Aaron believes him.

Still. That may be one issue solved, but it was a whole week of arguing.

“I need space, then,” He settles, risks taking steps forward. “Just for a bit. Please don’t make this any harder.” 

“No,” Robert says forcefully, taking Aaron’s face in his hands. His fingertips are pressing into the soft part of skin just behind Aaron’s jaw, like he’s making sure it’s real, he’s here, they’re both here. “I love you too much to let you walk away like this.” 

It shocks the breath right out of Aaron’s lungs, the way Robert’s so firm. He’s right and he knows that, but the instinctive part of his brain is telling him to run. 

But he’s trying to be better, and this is a part of that.

“Alright,” He grants, and tries not to follow Robert’s body heat as he pulls his hands away. “For tonight. And we’ll see how it goes.” 

They spend the rest of the night curled up into opposite ends of the sofa, talking about their fears and worries.

They both cry until their lungs ache, and Aaron’s scared that his heart is going to beat right out of his chest, and he’s scared that Robert’s going to see the ugliest parts of him and want nothing more to do with it.

But somewhere around the 5am mark, with tears burning into their cheeks and tentative fingers reaching across the cushion, they give in.

They kiss and kiss until they can’t breathe, like they’re drowning, like they need this.

They apologise and talk some more.

And when the sun finally comes up, they feel a little stronger for it.


	17. someone’s birthday + "what? no, i never said that…”

“Happy birthday,” Robert whispers, leaning down to kiss Aaron. Breakfast’s all out on the table - a full fry up with fresh coffee and orange juice, and Robert standing there in his dressing gown, pink chest exposed, just to make it all better.

Aaron eyes him with a smile, and then glances at the clock. Half ten. Dragging Robert back to bed is out the window, then. “Thank you,” He says softly, fingers catching the sleeve of the soft navy dressing gown. “You didn’t have to do all this.” 

“‘Course I did,” Robert says, affronted. He sits in the seat opposite Aaro n and lets the younger man tuck a foot under his thigh, like they do every morning. It feels normal, except- “Not every day you hit the big three oh, is it?” 

That smirk’s back on Robert’s face, the one that Aaron fell in love with, and it makes him grin. “Never be as old as you, though, will I?” He teases back, loading up his plate. 

“Fair point,” Robert concedes, fingers edging across the table until they find Aaron’s. He holds on and squeezes tight, and neither of them want to let go.

.

“Time to open your present!” Robert calls in a sing-song voice, practically skipping into the living room. Aaron’s sprawled across the sofa - breakfast’s done him in.

He’s got about seven presents stacked in his arms, balancing precariously until he dumps them all onto Aaron’s lap. “Which one?” The younger man snorts, watching Robert as he falls onto the sofa and tucks his feet under himself.

“All of them, obviously,” Robert says, rolling his eyes. He darts forward and presses a soft kiss to Aaron’s lips to take the sting out of it though. “This one first, though.”

Robert pulls a flat gift from the top of the pile and holds it out until Aaron takes it. He tears into the paper without thinking about it, reveals a brown envelope with his name in Robert’s attempt of fancy writing, dotted with hearts. He raises an eyebrow as he opens it, and ignores Robert’s excited grin as he opens it. “Robert.”

“Read it,” Robert huffs through a laugh, throwing an arm round Aaron’s neck to pull him against his side.

“Ten nights in Vegas?” Aaron breathes. He glances up at Robert, and he can feel tears tracking down his cheeks, but he doesn’t move to wipe them away.

Robert does, though, thumb swiping softly under Aaron’s eyes and then down to trace the smile that’s threatening to split his face. “To make up for your birthday before,” He says. “Anything - and everything - you want to do. You make the rules here.” 

Aaron breathes out a happy laugh and pulls Robert down by his collar, planting a messy kiss on his lips. “That means I can divorce you and marry a stranger then?” He teases.

“Well, I never said that,” Robert frowns, looking petulant and ridiculous - he’s pouting.

“Good job I wouldn’t do that then, eh?” Aaron laughs, kissing the frown off of his husband’s face. “Don’t think I’d get any better than you, anyway. I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Robert smiles. His eyes are crinkling at the corners and there’s grey hairs peppering his temples; he’s not dressed, shrinking back when Aaron’s cold hands slip inside his dressing gown, and he drops a kiss onto Aaron’s forehead.

Aaron’s right. He’s definitely not getting any better.


	18. finally home after a hard day + “i never want you to feel like you’re not good enough.”

Aaron sits on the bed with a long suffering sigh. It had been the day from hell, meetings and pick ups from six am, and then when he finally thought he had time to breathe, Liv’s school had rang. 

“What’s the matter?” Robert asks. He’s already in bed, propped up against the headboard with a book in his hands. Aaron envies him.

They’d had sparse contact all day - the odd texts, just to let each other know they were still alive, but that’s it. “Liv’s been fighting,” Aaron huffs, pulling his jumper over his head. “Again. She’s staying at the pub tonight, I can’t deal with her.” 

Robert makes a noise of sympathy, smoothing his palm down the tense line of Aaron’s spine. “You should’ve told me,” He says, voice soft and warm. “I would’ve helped.” 

Finally undressed, Aaron pulls on his pyjamas, and turns to Robert with a deprecating smile. “I didn’t even have time, between work stuff and her.” He crawls into bed, the place he’s wanted to be since his head had started pounding around midday, and curls around Robert. It’s nice, comforting, and the security of it all makes tears well up in his eyes.

“Hey, hey,” Robert whispers gently. “What are you crying for?” He puts the book down on the bedside table and fits his hand around the back of Aaron’s head, holding him there, grounding him.

“I’m so shit at this,” He mumbles, burying his face in Robert’s chest. The force of the tears is making him tremble and he waits it out, shivers, breathes through it. “Liv needs someone else - someone better than me.” 

“She’s a kid, Aaron,” Robert says, but his tone is still caring. “All kids go through this. You just need to keep it up, and wait it out. She’ll grow out of it, I promise.” 

Aaron glances up, can feel the spark of hope in his chest. It’s baffling, sometimes, how different Robert is now. How much he actually gives a damn about Aaron and Aaron’s little sister - his family. “Yeah?” He asks, painfully aware of how needy he sounds. 

“Yeah,” Robert confirms, hand dropping down so his fingers can edge up the hem of Aaron’s t-shirt. He traces over the younger man’s hipbone, but it’s not leading to anything - it’s just a comfort. It’s weird, how different that is now - the fact that sex isn’t the be all and end all. “I never want you to feel like you’re not good enough.” 

Aaron can’t think of anything to say to that, can’t hear himself think over the rush of love and admiration and gratitude in his veins. “I love you,” He settles on instead, and closes his eyes as Robert turns off the lamp.

“I love you too,” is the last thing he hears before he drifts off into a peaceful, dream-free sleep.


	19. date night gone wrong + “do i love you? yes. do i like you? that’s still up for debate.”

Friday nights are date night, and that’s the way it’s always been. Liv gets packed off to Gabby’s or the pub, and they both finish work no later than five, and then it’s dinner by seven. They try a new place every week, and find the time to enjoy each other’s company.

It’s routine, but it’s far from boring. It’s Aaron’s favourite day of the week.

But at twenty past seven, and Aaron’s still sitting alone, he’s starting to hate the day. The waitstaff are all looking at him and whispering with sympathy, like he’s been stood up, but Robert wouldn’t do that.

Would he?

He shakes the thought from his head and drains the last of his beer. If Robert isn’t here by half past, he’s leaving.

Suddenly, the man himself is standing at the table, tie skewed and hair stood up on end. “I’m so sorry!” Robert gasps, sitting down. His face is flushed red like he’s been running. “Mr. Bickle wouldn’t let me leave.” 

He looks done in, so Aaron gives him a pass. At least the waiters look relieved. “It’s fine,” He smiles tightly, rolling his eyes when Robert’s foot nudges his shin. “Can we order now? I’m starving.” 

“Of course,” Robert says, tone dripping sugary sweet. He’s trying to make up for it, even though Aaron has (mostly) forgiven him. He gets the waiters’ attention, and they both ramble off their orders, but.

Something doesn’t look right. The waiters’ face is pinched, and he looks furious. “Robert?” The man spits, eyeing the older man like he’s something on the bottom of his shoe.

“Sorry?” Robert asks, voice lilting at the end. He clearly doesn’t know who this is, but Aaron realises with a groan.

“Not got your picture perfect life with the wife anymore, then?” The waiter spits, clutching the menus tightly to his chest. Aaron almost sympathises - he knows what it feels like, after all. He’s been in this position. “Or is this just another one of your fuck and runs?” 

Robert’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, like he’s finally put two and two together. “Jamie…” He says awkwardly, trailing off at the end. “This is my husband.” 

“‘Course it is,” Jamie spits, already turning away before he decides against it. “Nice to know at least one of your many mistresses could make the cut.” 

And it all goes downhill after that.

The food is cold, the drinks are suspiciously watery, and even the chef comes out of the kitchen to glare. 

Aaron can’t keep the flush of shame off his cheeks.

They get out of the restaurant quicker than normal, with Robert leading Aaron to his car - the younger man had gotten the bus. “I’m sorry about tonight,” Robert sighs, resting his head against the seat. “I didn’t even do anything and I ruined it.”

“Yeah,” Aaron confirms, trying to keep the thunderous expression off of his face. He must fail, judging by the way Robert looks at him.

“I love you,” Robert offers, hand grasping Aaron’s knee as he drives. Aaron knows that he’s trying to dig himself out of a hole - the worst part is, it’s working.

The younger man rolls his head to the side and stares out of the window, but he can’t help but cover Robert’s hand with his own. “Do I love you? Yes,” He says, trying for hard but knowing it comes out softer than he wanted it to. “But do I like you? Well, that’s still up for debate.” 

Robert pulls up into the drive of the Mill and shifts in his seat so he’s facing his husband. “As long as you love me, that’s fine,” He says, face beaming with a sunshine smile. “I don’t mind the other part.”


	20. finally home after a hard day + “don’t tell me what to do.”

Aaron looks exhausted. What with Adam cutting back his hours at the scrapyard to focus on the twins he and Vic adopted, and not having enough time to hire a part-time scrapper (yet), he’s working fourteen hour shifts.

He looks like he’s about to fall asleep on the spot, eyes drooping and clothes oil-stained. Robert reaches him in three large strides, rubbing his hands up and down the younger man’s biceps. “Hey,” He greets, kissing Aaron gently. He tastes like sweat and dirt, and if Robert was a better man, he wouldn’t find that attractive - but he’s not. “You look shattered.”

“I am,” Aaron confirms, kneeling down to take his boots off. His voice sounds tight and wound up, so Robert takes that as his cue to heat up the pasta he’d made earlier. “Just want a beer and my bed.”

He’s sitting at the table when Robert finishes, leaving dark smudges of oil on the white surface, but Robert refuses to complain. Aaron’s already pissed off, he can tell. “Here,” He says, setting the plate down in front of his husband. “How was your day?” 

“Fucking horrific,” Aaron says through a mouthful of pasta. He eats like he hasn’t eaten before in his life, inhaling the food so fast that Robert wonders if he even tastes it. “I had to do those runs this morning, and then when I got back, there was a bloke there to bring his old car in. I had no idea about it because Adam arranged it weeks ago, and he didn’t write it down.” 

“I’m sorry,” Robert says, hand covering Aaron’s for a minute. “We all know he’s an idiot, though.” 

Aaron frowns at Robert, pushing his now empty plate away. He doesn’t say anything, just keeps staring at Robert. “Right.” 

“You need a shower and some sleep,” Robert says, thinking out loud. “Or a bath would do you good. Why don’t you sit down while I run it?” He gestures over to the sofa, not even thinking of glancing at Aaron. 

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Aaron snaps, placing his hands on the table and standing up. He stalks away from Robert, up the stairs and out of sight so.

That’s that.

.

Robert’s in bed, curled up on his side facing away from the en suite. He can hear Aaron going through his bedtime routine, brushing his teeth and washing his face, but he tries to ignore it as much as he can.

He doesn’t move when the door opens, and squeezes his eyes shut when he feels the mattress dip. “I’m sorry,” Aaron whispers, tentative fingers curling around Robert’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“It’s alright,” Robert says shortly, but he doesn’t move. It is alright - he’s just being a child about it. 

“I mean it,” Aaron continues, spooning up behind his husband and fitting their bodies together. “I had a shitty day, but I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I love you.” 

Robert can’t find it in himself to hold a grudge, so he relaxes back against Aaron’s chest. “Just don’t do it again,” He sighs, covering Aaron’s hand on his stomach with his own. “I love you too.” 

It’ll happen again, and sometimes, it’ll be Robert, too. But it doesn’t matter, because when the sun goes down, they can be themselves in the darkness. In the comfort of their bedroom, they’re the people that no one else gets to see.

And that makes it all worth it.


	21. "you've always got me."

A shudder ripples down Aaron’s spine, and he hangs his head, defeated.

Normally, no one would see it, except- there’s Robert, shoulders unusually slouched as he shuffles along the road in front of the Woolie. He doesn’t know what it is that makes Robert look up - doesn’t know whether it’s instinct or the feeling of Aaron’s eyes on him - but the man does, and he does a double take when he sees Aaron sitting on the bench.

His spine straightens and his steps become stronger, like he’s got something to prove, and he reaches Aaron quickly. “All right?” He says softly, warmly. He still sounds like home, even after all these months apart.

“Not really,” Aaron says, and feels his mouth quirk at the corners into a twisted smile. He glances at the bench besides him, and is grateful when Robert takes the invitation for what it is. 

Robert sits, straddling the bench. The long, strong lines of his thighs are mouth-watering in those jeans, and Aaron wants to touch. He does, because that’s the tentative stage of their relationship (Affair? Inevitability?) right now. 

“What’s up?” The older man hums. Aaron’s thumb traces the in-seam of his jeans, just inside the knee, as his fingers splay over the outside of his thigh. The only sign that Robert’s affected is the sharp breath he draws in, the pinkness on his cheeks that’s not just the cold.

“Do you really need to ask?” Aaron says, choked on a desperate laugh. He doesn’t know how Robert doesn’t get what’s wrong. He doesn’t know how the scratches on his back aren’t burning, in the way that the bruises on Aaron’s ribs are. All he can feel is Robert’s mouth, Robert’s fingerprints, and the way it felt so wrong.

And the way it felt like the planets had aligned.

Still, he supposes it doesn’t really matter to Robert - he hasn’t got anyone to hide it from. Aaron’s still praying that Alex can’t magically see through his clothes whenever he closes his eyes. Aaron is the one dashing to the bathroom to get changed. 

“If you want to talk,” Robert says, voice soft and fond. He sounds honest, though - genuine. It’s nice. “You’ve always got me.” 

That does startle a laugh out of Aaron. “Can’t believe you’re the only person I can talk to about us,” He murmurs, fingertips pressing into the flesh of Robert’s thigh a little harder. That word - us - it tastes so right in his mouth, fits the curve of his tongue perfectly. It makes his heart beat harder against the confines of his chest. 

He wishes he knew how Robert felt about it, too. 

“I can,” Robert replies quickly. He covers Aaron’s hand with his own rough palm, fingertips sliding into the gaps between Aaron’s. “You’re the only one who could ever understand me; the only one who could ever understand what we’ve been through.”

“Yeah,” Aaron breathes, a little awestruck. He watches Robert watch him: the way his mouth is still kiss-bitten red, the way his eyes sparkle under the black ink sky, the way he tracks every twitch of Aaron’s face. 

His eyelashes dip for a moment, the dark shadows of his eyelashes fanning against his cheeks. “I mean it, though,” He says, and then looks up. His gaze locks with Aaron’s, and his eyes are saying everything his mouth isn’t: i love you please don’t leave me don’t leave him i don’t want to hurt you- “I’m here.” 

And then he stands, glances over his shoulder to check no one’s around, and drops a soft kiss onto Aaron’s forehead. Then he leaves, like it’s the easiest thing to do, like his heart isn’t cracking the way Aaron knows and feels himself.

“I love you,” Aaron whispers, but the wind carries it away before Robert hears.


	22. "you look amazing tonight."

There’s a business dinner tonight, some posh hotel in Hotten. Robert’s never been there: that meant it was safe, so he booked a room to surprise Aaron with.

But it’s the first dinner Aaron’s been to since they got back together - he was too nervous, at first, considering all of Robert’s clients had known about the split. Who didn’t? Robert was heartbroken.

He’s nervous tonight, Robert knows that, but he’s pushing all his reservations aside to be there for his husband. That’s one thing on the list of many that Robert loves about him.

It starts out a little shaky. There are a few surprised looks at the man on Aaron’s arms, a few inquisitive greetings, but it’s not terrible. Not even when Charlotte Smith, a client from Home Farm that followed Robert when he moved business, pointedly asks him if he’s still single.

That’s the difference now, Robert supposes. Aaron loves him; Aaron trusts him. God knows why. Robert wouldn’t.

“Can we go home yet?” Aaron asks, voice low and seductive as his fingers tighten around Robert’s forearm. The party’s dying down now - it’s almost eleven, way past a respectable bedtime for events like these, but Robert’s got plans.

“No,” He says, feeling a grin spread across his face. He places a hand at the small of Aaron’s back, pulls him in tighter until there’s only an inch of space between them.

Aaron tries not to look petulant, tries to smooth the frown off of his face, but he’s too late and Robert catches it. “Why not?” He sighs, swaying towards Robert. 

Robert leans forward, lips brushing the shell of Aaron’s ear. “Because I’ve packed Liv off to your mum’s and booked us a hotel room,” He purrs, taking Aaron’s empty glass out of his hand and putting it on the bar. The bags are already in the room - he’d packed them secretly, and nipped up there before the dinner. It was all in place.

“You what?” Aaron asks, shock written all over his face. He still reacts when Robert tangles their fingers together though, still holds on tight.

“We’ve barely had any time to ourselves lately,” Robert murmurs. He traces his fingertips over the veins in Aaron’s wrist, presses two fingers to the pulse point. “I’m not complainin’, but you need a break. I’ve squared it all with your mum.” 

Aaron snorts, but he’s already starting towards the door of the bar. “I’d like to have seen how that conversation went down,” He teases. He’s right; things between Robert and Chas are still tense. Robert doesn’t blame her. “Thank you, though.”

He’s gone soft, fond around the mouth and eyes, smiling in a way he saves just for Robert. The older man wants to kiss it right off his face, so he crowds Aaron into the empty lift and does just that. “You look amazing tonight,” He whispers against Aaron’s lips, hand curving around his waist. “I’m so lucky I get to be with you.” 

And Aaron - he’s started receiving compliments better, that’s one thing Robert’s noticed. It’s nice to see. it’s nice to be able to give them, because for a while, Robert thought he wouldn’t get to do it again. 

“Love you,” Aaron settles on, arm looped around Robert’s neck to pull him down for a gentle kiss. The lift doors open and he grins, all sparkle and mischief. “Come on Mr. Dingle, we’ve got a hotel room to put to good use.”


	23. "come cuddle."

Robert’s pissed off. Beyond that, really, but he lets it sit under his skin and quietly rages.

He spent _so much fucking money_ on the Mill, and yet the whole house seems to be falling apart around them. 

Last week, it was the electric - faulty wiring, apparently. Could’ve killed them, and they were lucky it didn’t. That was just the start of it, the start of Robert’s rage. Aaron doesn’t seem to mind all that much, but- It’s just that things are supposed to be perfect now, aren’t they? But something as little as this is making them bicker.

That’s probably Robert, though, and his terrible mood. He tries not to dwell on it too much. 

“Are you _joking_?” He spits, standing with his hands on his hips. He can see Aaron trying not to laugh from under the pile of blankets he’s heaped on, and he tries not to let it piss him off more. Tries. “The boiler now?” 

“Won’t be able to come out until next week, apparently,” Aaron shrugs, like this isn’t the end of the fucking world. Alright, that’s probably an exaggeration, but it’s cold. It’s December, for god’s sake.

“This is all we need!” Robert explodes. The thought of it makes him shudder - no shower, no heating, just a big cold house. He turns in a huff, doesn’t want Aaron to see how much this is actually affecting him.

It’s supposed to be better. 

“Oi,” Aaron says, but his voice is gentle. He approaches Robert from behind, slips his arms around the older man’s waist and nestles his head in the curve of his neck. “It’s not that bad.” 

Robert breathes out a sigh, feels his shoulders sag with defeat. “Sorry, it’s just-” He says, but cuts himself off. He can’t find the right words, feels stupid when he does.

“I know,” Aaron says kindly, dropping a kiss to the back of Robert’s neck. He turns Robert and drops another kiss on his lips, tangles their fingers together and starts walking backwards. “Come cuddle.” 

A small smile graces Robert’s lips when he finds himself under the pile of blankets. Aaron’s settled between his legs, side of his face resting on his chest, but he glances up and then rises slightly. It’s nice, actually, having Aaron like this - this close. Especially when he leans up and brushes their lips together, when he opens his mouth and lets Robert’s tongue brush against his. Especially when he curls his fingers around Robert’s shoulder and places his palm on Robert’s jaw. Especially when they spend minutes, hours, making out like teenagers on the sofa, film forgotten.

It’s not all bad, Robert supposes. Especially when he’s got Aaron.


	24. "don't cry."

It’s a weird day, all things considered. It’s always weird, and Aaron’s been here for the past four of them, but today’s different.

It’s been twenty years since Robert’s mum died. 

Twenty years is a long time - there’s no doubt about it - but sometimes, Robert thinks he can still remember the sound of her voice, the way she melt, how her hair felt under her fingers.

He can’t, but he likes to kid himself about a lot of things. This is one of them. 

He feels off-kilter all week, like the slightest breeze could topple him over. He’s snapped at Liv, a few times. Ignored a fifteen year old Sarah in the street because she’s too much like her namesake, despite the fact they weren’t related at all. Point blank refused to talk to Andy. 

Aaron’s there, of course, but he doesn’t get it. He can’t understand it, not in the way that Robert does, and he tells him that. Somehow, Aaron sticks around though, slips into bed at night and curls into the contours of Robert’s body like he knows he needs it. 

Today’s the worst day of them all. Aaron had woken him up with a cup of tea and a kiss, wedding ring glinting in the sunlight. It reminded him that they were both still alive, they were both okay, but he still felt like the heart beating in his chest wasn’t his. 

He’d ordered the flowers at the start of the week, picked them up this morning. A huge bouquet, all red and white and green. They were her favourites - he’d remembered that much. 

Aaron drives them to the cemetery, a supportive hand on Robert’s thigh the whole way there. He’s silent though, because he knows Robert needs that. It’s amazing, the way he reads him. That’s what makes Robert love him.

“Would she even still love me?” Robert chokes out, unable to tear his eyes away from the grave. Devoted mother of Robert, Andy and Victoria. It makes him glad, in a sickening sort of way, that he was put first there. 

“Of course she would,” Aaron says, hand tucked into the crook of Robert’s elbow. He stands close, close enough that the lines of their arms are pressed together and the body heat is radiating off him. “She was your mum.” 

Robert risks a glance at his husband, but Aaron’s staring down at the flowers. He’s glad - if Aaron looked at him, he’d probably crumble and crack. “She wasn’t my real mum,” Robert whispers, and feels Aaron’s fingers tighten around his arm. “That means her love was conditional.” 

“I think she loved you like I do,” Aaron says, voice low and gentle in a way it rarely is. “Wholly, unconditional. No matter what you do.”

That- that’s enough. Robert cracks. He feels his body shudder with sobs, feels tears slide down his face. He still doesn’t look at Aaron, at least not until the younger man grabs his chin and turns his head to face him. 

“Don’t cry,” He whispers, thumb wiping the tears away as they fall. He looks sad, but serious. Like he loves Robert the way he said, like he’ll never give up. “I think she’d be proud of you. I know I am.” 

He pulls Aaron into his arms, buries his face into the younger man’s curls. “I wish you could’ve met her,” He mumbles, feels the truth of it in his chest, in that ever-present ache.

“Me too,” Aaron says, voice kind and caring. “But I know she’s watching us.”

That- that shouldn’t be a comfort. That means she’s seen all the things Robert wouldn’t want her to. But it is, and it eases the pain a little, and when he thanks Aaron, says I love you, he can almost feel her hand on his shoulder, warm and welcoming. 

He might not remember everything about Sarah, but he knows that he’ll never forget her.


	25. "how could you ask me that?"

It makes Robert sick to his stomach. 

It’s hypocritical of him, and he knows that, but he never claimed to be anything better. _If it was you, I’d be beside myself_ , he’d once said, and he meant it. He just didn’t quite know how it’d feel. 

The room’s tense - you could cut the air with a knife, and Aaron’s shoulders are stiff, face perfectly blank. Robert’s the opposite, body sagged with the weight of the feeling and face crumpled. 

“Tell me,” He says quietly. He can’t quite put the authority into his voice; he just feels desperate. Desperate and lonely and ill. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Nothing happened,” Aaron says firmly. There’s nothing to suggest otherwise - nothing but the feeling sitting low in Robert’s gut, making his insides twist and his mind spin. 

“Did you kiss him?” Robert asks, dropping to his knees in front of the sofa, in front of Aaron. He takes the younger man’s hands in his, holds on tight. This might be the last time he gets to. 

Aaron reels from the shock of it; physically recoils. He does pull his hands away though, and Robert silently counts his blessings. “How could you ask me that?” He says quietly. 

That’s a no, then. Robert drops forward, presses his forehead to Aaron’s knee as the relief spreads through his veins. “I’m sorry,” He mumbles. Aaron’s fingertips rest on the back of his head, it sounds like an acceptance, an apology in itself. “I’m terrified I’ll lose you again.” 

“You’re my husband, Rob,” Aaron whispers, but it still cuts through the otherwise quiet room. “And I’m not going to leave you. Not ever.”

“You can’t promise that,” Robert shoots back by instinct, trying to make himself look smaller. It’s too much, the confrontation of it - the idea that Aaron could be with someone else. 

“No,” Aaron says softly, placating. “I can’t. But I can promise you I’m not going to get up and walk away. I’m not going to find someone else. I want you, Robert, and I love you.” 

The words make Robert dizzy, head spinning and vision blurring, but it feels like relief, like a thank you, like all he’s ever wanted, so he kisses Aaron and kisses him again - kisses him until their lips are numb and his stomach has settled.


	26. "who cares what they think?"

Robert watches Aaron make his way towards him. It’s risky, in broad daylight - especially sat outside the cafe, where the whole village can (and will) see. He doesn’t quite know what’s going on.

But he guesses he’s going to find out.

“Everyone knows,” Aaron says quietly, dropping into the seat opposite. He hunches over, like he’s trying to fold himself into nothing. “Everyone knows about us.”

That startles Robert, punches the breath right out of his lungs. “Even Alex?” He asks, breathless and shocked to his core. 

“Especially Alex,” Aaron says with a self-deprecating smile. He looks like he hates himself, like he’s sick to the stomach and his heart is blackened with the ash from the fire they caused. Robert knows how he feels.

“I’m sorry,” Robert says, because he is. He didn’t plan for this, not for any of it - it was one time, a mistake (even if it was the most alive he’s felt for months). He didn’t want to turn Aaron into this person. 

Aaron glances up at the sky, and then back at Robert - his eyes are burning blue with tears, lashes wet. “It wasn’t just you,” He says, and his shin knocks against Robert’s under the table. “Should’ve expected it, really. Couldn’t stay away from you if I tried.” 

That hurts; that feels like there’s something wrong with Robert, like Aaron doesn’t want to be near. He wants to tell Aaron, because he’s trying even harder with the whole honesty thing, but he knows it’d make it worse. “Sorry,” He settles on, clipped and cold.

“Robert-” Aaron starts, then stops with a sigh. He takes a sip of Robert’s coffee, watches the older man the entire time. “That’s not what I meant.” 

“What did you mean then?” Robert snaps back. He curls his fingers into fists, tries to breathe through the urge of punching someone, something, anything. This anger doesn’t solve anything.

“I don’t know,” Aaron admits tearfully. His hand finds Robert’s on the table, tentatively pressing them together; a feather touch. “I don’t know anything. Liv told me she hates me, and my mum screamed at me for ten minutes.” 

Robert blinks through it, through the rage that he feels for Aaron’s closest family. He loves them, but he loves Aaron more. He’d shed blood for Aaron, if only he’d asked. “What about Alex?” He asks quietly.

“He just walked out,” Aaron sighs, watching the way his fingers trace Robert’s own. It feels foreign - one night isn’t enough for it to feel normal, not anymore, even if Robert can still feel the weight of Aaron’s body pressed against his. “He said he expected it, that he let him fool himself.” 

“Where does that leave us?” Robert dares to say, words that have been on the tip of his tongue for weeks - since that stolen night.

That seems to drag some of the spark back into Aaron’s body, lips quirking into a small smile. “You could take me on a date, if you want,” He says softly, holding Robert’s hand like it means something. He can almost read Robert’s mind - he’s thinking about Chas, and Liv, and all of the Dingles and everyone who loves Aaron (and hates Robert). “Who cares what they think?” 

A second chance - god, Robert’s had enough of them to last a lifetime - but this one feels like a beginning. It doesn’t feel like sand slipping through his fingers anymore.

It feels like a future - solid and real and promising.


	27. the ways i say i love you + on a post it note.

Robert catches Aaron coming out of the cafe. He tries to hide the little paper bag behind his back, but judging by the look on Robert’s face, he fails.

“Are you serious?” He sighs, long-suffering and annoyed. The way his eyebrows knit together in a frown makes him look a little ridiculous (and a bit like one of Liv’s animal drawings from when she didn’t like him, but Aaron isn’t going to tell him that). “We’re supposed to be saving!”

“We had nothing in the fridge!” Aaron protests, guiltily shifting from foot to foot. He knows there was stuff to make a more than acceptable sandwich, but he just didn’t fancy any of it. 

Robert knows this too. “I went shopping yesterday, Aaron!” He says, exasperation coating his tone. “God, what did you even get?” 

“A panini,” Aaron says. He flutters his eyelashes innocently, and decides not tell his husband about the cake. “I got you a sandwich, too. Hummus and coriander.” 

The older man rolls his eyes, but in a fond way. “Suppose I’ll let you off this time,” He says, holding his hand out expectantly for the sandwich. 

.

The next morning, Aaron’s already at the scrapyard when Robert gets to work. He’d been on early pick ups, slipped out of the door at six on the dot with a kiss to his bleary-eyed husband.

“I brought lunch,” Robert says, more cheerful than he was three hours ago. He holds up a tupperware box, and Aaron can’t work out what’s inside it but it is pretty full, and he knows there’s going to be a can of coke too. It makes his stomach rumble. 

“Thank you,” Aaron says gratefully. It means he doesn’t have to run to the cafe - more time to get paperwork done, and less bitching from Robert. He takes the box with a kiss, and ignores Adam’s playful gagging behind them. “Did you pay this month’s holiday instalment?”

He knows that’s what put Robert in a good mood, and the widening of his grin proves it. “I did,” The older man confirms with a nod, taking his jacket off and hanging it on the back of his chair. “Fourteen whole days of you, me, the sun, and a room all to ourselves. 

It sounds perfect; this is what they’re saving for. They have been for months. “I can’t wait to get away from this one,” Aaron says playfully, pointing his thumb over his shoulder at Adam. 

Adam, who, like the manchild he is, blows a raspberry. By the look on Robert’s face, he doesn’t want to know what kind of gesture he’s pulling with his hands. 

.

“I’ve got a lunch meeting,” Robert says, rounding Aaron’s desk as he shrugs on his jacket. He puts two fingers under the younger man’s chin, and drops a soft kiss onto his lips. “I’ll be back soon.” 

He kisses him again because he can, and Aaron loves the feeling - five years on, and he gets to kiss Robert, his husband. That’ll never get old. “Alright, love you,” He says. Because he can. Robert leaves with a goodbye tossed over his shoulder.

It’s nearly one, which is definitely an acceptable time for lunch, and Aaron wrestles the tupperware open. He was right - it is full, a Wispa nestled down the side of some sandwiches, an apple because Robert’s weird about the whole five a day thing.

That’s not what catches his attention, though - it’s the sticky note on top of the clingfilm, neon green and making his eyeballs hurt. He picks it from the box, and in Robert’s neat writing:

 **Have a nice lunch. I love you.**

A little smiley face sits at the end, with a loopy kiss, and it’s so domestic and routine that it makes something in Aaron’s chest ache (in a good way). 

No one’s made him a packed lunch since he was a kid, since his mum sent him off to school every morning with a little backpack, but that’s his husband, making him lunch, leaving him notes, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. 

Once upon a time, he’d said, I don’t want to live a life like that.

Once upon a time, he’d said, nobody gives a damn about me.

Once upon a time, he’d said, I’m not husband material.

Now, he can’t believe he’s proved himself so wrong. It’s magical.


	28. "i missed you so much."

The thing about falling in love is that sometimes life overrules that. Sometimes life takes you in different directions, and sometimes it takes you three thousand miles away. 

The thing about Robert is that Aaron fell in love with him forty-five minutes into their first date. He knew at that moment that he wanted to spend the rest of his life waking up to sleep-flushed cheeks and bright eyes. He wanted to spend the rest of his life coming home to Robert dancing around the kitchen while he cooks dinner, blond hair flat against his forehead from steam. 

And the thing that tied love and life together was that one call.

“Aaron,” Robert says. His voice is unhappy and his face is unhappy, and Aaron just knows. Call it a sixth sense. “That was the company I applied for.” 

Aaron hums, tilts his head up as Robert’s fingertips trail over his cheek. “What did they want?” He asks, trying to keep the desperation of no, please, don’t tell me out of his voice.

Robert sighs, melodramatic and a bit whiny, and throws himself onto the sofa. He tucks his chin on top of Aaron’s head and his arm around Aaron’s shoulder, and he’s silent for a minute. “They gave me the job,” He murmurs, lips brushing the soft curls.

“There’s a but, isn’t there?” Aaron whispers, because there always is. God forbid they ever have any luck on their side.

“They want me to start up the company in America,” Robert says. His voice is tight with tears, and god, Aaron knows how that feels. He swallows the lump in his own throat and holds onto Robert’s hand as tight as he can. “Chicago.” 

And so. That was that.

Of course it wasn’t the end of it - there was arguments and tears and begging (and that was just from Aaron) - but they both knew that it was for the best. The money Robert would get, for their future. It was worth it. 

Just. 

.

It was a year-long contract, Robert found out during his first meeting. Aaron had known it wasn’t going to be easy, but a year… That was not worth it.

There were visits, few and far between but visits nonetheless, that were expensive and too short. There were arguments. 

There was almost a break up.

But they did it. 

They survived.

“Hey,” Robert says, voice crackling over the phone. He sounds slightly breathless, like maybe he’s just got home from the office. Aaron wishes he could reach out and touch, or even see Robert’s face. “Last phone call.”

“And then you come home to me,” Aaron breathes. He feels the truth of it right down to his bones, relief squeezing his chest tight. It’s almost like a dream. 

Almost.

“Not long,” Robert agrees, and Aaron can hear the smile in his voice. “I can’t wait to see you.” 

Aaron feels the smile on his own face, cheeks tinged pink with the excitement. “Me too,” He laughs, but then there’s a knock at the door. “Can I call you back? There’s someone here.”

“‘Course,” Robert says, and then there’s a silence for a minute. “Love you.” 

Aaron manages to get out a love you too before the line goes dead, and he runs a hand through his hair to flatten it before he goes to the door. He doesn’t bother to look through the peephole - never does, even when Robert is spitting about murderers and creeps - and pulls the door open.

And.

It’s Robert.

“Love you more,” Robert says, actually says, in the flesh, in front of Aaron, breathing and grinning with his arms wide open.

It’s Robert. 

Aaron flies at him and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug, barely stopping to catch his breath. Robert, solid and real under his hands, hugs him back, fingers twisting into the soft material of his own t-shirt that Aaron’s wearing.

“What are you doing here?” He laughs, breathless and surprised. He doesn’t pull back, just tucks his nose into Robert’s neck and takes in the smell of his aftershave. “You’re not supposed to be back until tomorrow.” 

“Got an earlier flight,” Robert says with a shrug, like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t matter. He pulls back first, just a few inches, and traces his thumb along Aaron’s lips and under his eyes. “I didn’t want to wait another day.”

His face has wavered under the sadness but then he realises that Aaron is in front of him, and his grin returns. It’s bright enough to put the sun out of business. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Aaron admits tearfully, chewing on his bottom lip. He doesn’t want to admit how bad it had been, about the true lengths of the counsellor he’d been to see, about how much he hated being alone. “Don’t go away again.”

Robert’s face drops, solemn and serious, but he threads his fingers through Aaron’s curls and holds his head still. “I promise,” He whispers, painfully honest. “I love you.” 

And then he surges forwards, lips crashing into Aaron’s with a slightly sore clash of teeth and their noses bumping together. 

Aaron panics, for a minute, that maybe they’ve forgotten how to do this, maybe they don’t fit-

But Robert fits his palm along the curve of Aaron’s jaw and tilts his face up, opens up the seam of his mouth with his tongue and kisses and kisses and kisses him-

And Aaron knows that they’ll never forget about this, whether it’s one year or ten. 

Robert has come home, but Aaron’s home has finally come back to him.


	29. "why haven't you kissed me yet?"

The night had been easy. 

They’re friends now, mates who have a beer and watch the football. Aaron had been laughing over his disastrous dating experiences, while Robert struggled to raise a smile. 

Still, Aaron hadn’t suspected anything.

“It’s getting late,” Aaron says, fighting back a yawn. He shakes his can of beer but smiles when he realises it’s still half full, like maybe he’s glad he can spend a bit of extra time with Robert.

Robert, who forces himself to sit still, to not edge closer and wrap his arm around Aaron’s shoulders. The alcohol coursing through his veins makes it difficult though, one can too many flushing his cheeks pink. 

He’s not the only one, judging by the way Aaron’s eyes have started to grow heavy, tongue poking out to wet his lips.

It’s difficult. Too difficult.

“Aaron,” He pushes out, the word sticking to his throat with fear. “I can’t-” 

“Can’t what?” Aaron says, pushing himself until he’s sitting on the edge of the sofa. His eyes are wide now, alert. 

Robert shakes his head to clear it, but it doesn’t work. It’s still the same jumbled mess it was five minutes ago, sixty. “I love you,” He says, honesty clawing his throat and making his chest ache. “I love you.”

Like it’s that simple.

Aaron doesn’t say anything, just tracks every movement of Robert’s face. He watches with glistening eyes and bitten red lips, breathes in shallow breaths and clenches his hands into fists. 

“I mean, I get it,” Robert rambles, desperate to fill the silence with anything. “If you don’t feel the same. And I like being friends - it’s great, it’s more than I deserve - but I can’t hold it back anymore.” 

The younger man is still quiet, but he nods, once, twice. Like he’s taking it all in and doesn’t know what to say, until- “Robert,” He says, voice low.

“I love you, Aaron,” Robert continues, stopping just short of taking Aaron’s hand. That, he decides, would probably be too far. “I love you and I want more. I want to be more than your friend, I want-” 

“ _Robert_ ,” Aaron says, forceful. He grabs Robert’s hand, fingernails digging into the older man’s palm, and stares hard enough that he shuts his mouth completely. “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” 

Robert laughs, short and surprised, and then pushes forward to kiss Aaron with all the energy he has. This is what’s important, the here and now. 

Because it’s that simple.


	30. "i can't stay away from you."

They’ve slept together once, so far, and a few stray kisses that were too good of an opportunity to pass up.

That’s all it is, and that was all it was supposed to be. Aaron was determined about it. 

Of course he’s thinking of Alex. He knows what it’d do to his boyfriend, knows that it’d break his heart, but it’s Robert, isn’t it? He never could stop himself - isn’t sure if he wants to. 

But anyway. He digresses.

“What is this, then?” Robert asks, eyes half-lidded and mouth forming the words carefully. His speech is slow, body fucked out and blissed, and he watches Aaron’s shoulders as he turns over.

And Aaron, well, he tries not to think about that too much. “I don’t know,” He replies instead of an actual answer, and tries not to shiver when Robert traces his fingertips up the fair hair on his forearms. 

“An affair?” Robert says, but he’s teasing, tongue poking out the side of his mouth. And yeah, it is, but it’s not like the first time round. It doesn’t feel dangerous or risky. It feels like the inevitable, like coming home.

And this time, this time Aaron’s got the lead. He rolls over another inch, throws his arm across Robert’s bare chest and curls his fingers around his neck, lips hovering over the older man’s. “Don’t call it that,” He whispers, their mouths touching. “It sounds dirty.”

Robert smiles, blinding and genuine, and fits his palm over the back of Aaron’s head, ready to pull him down. “Fine,” He concedes, pushing upwards to drop a soft, chaste kiss onto Aaron’s lips. “It’s us. It always has been, and it always has been.”

Yeah, that sounds better - it sounds about right. He indulges Robert with another kiss, softer and deeper, tongues brushing lazily together as he fits a thigh between Robert’s. 

They stay like that for what could be minutes or hours or days. Aaron doesn’t count because he doesn’t want to, because he wants to stay like this forever. He tells Robert as much.

“I can’t stay away from you,” He says quietly, and feels disappointment thrum through his veins even though it’s the most honest he’s ever been. He didn’t want to be this person. Not ever. 

But sometimes, there are things that are bigger than the person you are. 

“You don’t have to,” Robert says with another chaste kiss. It’s the inevitable.

Aaron wonders how he could’ve ever thought otherwise.


	31. "dance with me."

Liv finds out three months in to the not-affair. She walks in on them, when she’s supposed to be at Gabby’s, fast asleep and curled up on Aaron’s side of the bed like commas.

It wasn’t supposed to happen, that night, but Aaron had felt that familiar rush of warmthlovelust when Robert had smiled softly, and, well. The rest is history, isn’t it?

Liv, though, she screams. She cries and yells and hits Robert, small fists pummelling into his chest while she shouts about him ruining everything all over again. Aaron would’ve tried to explain, but there was no point. 

So they’d ended it. It was mutual, really, even though Robert’s face fell and Aaron felt crushed. 

History. That’s all it is now.

Life goes on, Robert had slurred, a bottle of whiskey between them down. Life goes on and it doesn’t wait for you, and that’s the end of it. No point in crying over spilt milk.

But the thing that Aaron’s found is that the guilt will always catch up with you - the guilt and the desperation and the bottomless pit of bitterness, churning under the way Liv looks at him now.

So he’d broken up with Alex, who’d taken it as well as expected. He’d asked if there was anyone else, but really meant _is it Robert?_ and Aaron had denied it. The words had stuck to his throat, but there wasn’t. Not physically, anyway. 

So now he’s alone, with Robert (his-ex-cum-best-friend who he daren’t spend any time with) and Liv (his little sister who hated him twice over, for things he could’ve controlled but didn’t) and Gerry (who really didn’t have a clue what was going on, but was a laugh and a nice distraction anyway). 

He’s alone and it’s all his fault. Not like he hasn’t been here before anyway.

.

Robert drops onto the chair next to him with flushed cheeks and bright eyes. He’s drunk, probably, from the fizz of champagne and the free bar, but he’s happy. Aaron can’t remember the last time he saw his ex like this.

Well, that’s a lie, he can. But he doesn’t want to. 

“Having a good time?” He finds himself asking, fingers aching with the urge to reach out and touch Robert.

“Love a good wedding,” Robert replies, grinning cheekily as he takes a sip of his pint. Moira-and-Cain-Cain-and-Moira, all over again. It’s nice, the second chance feeling of it all. It dredges up hope in Aaron’s chest.

“Don’t even know why you were invited,” Aaron says, biting the inside of his cheek as he smiles. This feels a little too much like flirting, like toeing the line that shouldn’t be toed. 

Robert just laughs, edges his chair a bit closer. “Probably to do with those alibis,” He admits, thigh brushing warmth against Aaron’s. 

But Aaron knows that Cain has softened towards Robert. He probably wouldn’t, if he knew about the affair, but that was months ago now, so it doesn’t matter. He tries to tell himself that constantly, but it doesn’t dampen the flames.

He’s about to open his mouth to reply when some soft piano notes spill over the room from the speakers, recognisable before Adele’s voice even starts. It does though, despite the way Aaron’s begging to anyone pleasenonottoday and Robert’s face drops. 

“What we had,” Robert says after the first verse, picking at a loose thread on his trousers. He glances up, eyes burning with everything he doesn’t say, and holds them steady on Aaron’s gaze. “It was good, wasn’t it?”

Tell me I’m not dreaming adds onto the end, silent but so loud, like the beat of Aaron’s own heart. He inclines his head in a nod of agreement, because it was. It was good and bad and encompassing, and in the end, it was too much - needing someone isn’t healthy. Aaron knows that now. 

He doesn’t need Robert anymore.

“Dance with me?” Robert asks, voice soft and hopeful. He puts his hand palm-up on his thigh, an invitation, and Aaron barely hesitates before he accepts and is pulled to his feet.

He didn’t dance then, and he still doesn’t now, but the beer has made him nostalgic - and longing for the feel of Robert pressed against him - so he goes easily. Adele’s still crooning about all the things she’d do as Robert’s hands settle on his waist, as Aaron’s arms hook around the older man’s neck. 

It’s still not dancing technically, just swaying, but Robert’s mouth is pressed against his curls and whispering no there’s nothing that i wouldn’t do to make you feel my love. And Aaron, he feels the truth of that all over again, even more than he did on their makeshift wedding day. 

He doesn’t need Robert anymore, but he wants him. And that’s more than enough.

He pulls back so there’s an inch of space between them and slides his hands up to Robert’s face, cupping his jaw. “I love you,” He whispers, and feels the ache of it in his chest, raw all over again. It’s a good kind of pain, the kind that leaves you breathless and wanting more, the kind that makes you realise you’re alive.

And Robert, he just smiles, smiles and smiles and smiles like sunshine glinting off of the snow on a winter’s day, like early mornings and shared showers and breakfast over the paper.

“I love you too,” He says, like he couldn’t say anything else even if he wanted to, and pulls Aaron’s body tighter at the same time Aaron pulls his face forwards.

This kiss - it’s not the first time they’ve kissed since they broke up, but it’s the last, because they won’t be broken up anymore. 

This kiss - it’s the start of the rest of our lives, the beginning of a new chapter.

This kiss - it’s worth all the aggro they’ll get from their families, all the judging looks and passing comments.

Because this kiss is healing the cracks left from a time before, the foundation of their once-shaky relationship, the healing of broken hearts.

And as for Aaron? He wouldn’t want it any other way.


	32. "give me a chance." + "i'm so in love with you."

The first time Aaron is woken up by Seb’s cries, he doesn’t think twice about kicking the covers back and sitting up.

Robert does, though. He rubs his eyes and then stares curiously at Aaron, watches him pull a t-shirt on. “What you doin’?” He mutters, sleep-soft with his fringe flattened across his forehead. 

“Going to see your son, obviously,” Aaron replies, half teasing and mostly serious. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to Robert’s lips though, thumb brushing against his cheek. “Give me a chance.”

It’s only the first time he’s stayed over like this, only the fifth time he’s been around Seb in any kind of timely capacity, but he’s not shocked to feel the love starting to expand in his chest. 

Seb is Robert, after all, and Aaron loves Robert more than anything, doesn’t he?

“You sure?” Robert whispers, teeth digging into his lower lip. He’s a great dad, sure, but it’s like he expects to be the only one doing it. And a year ago- a year ago, Aaron would’ve been adamant that he wasn’t going to co-parent anyone else’s kid.

But things change. 

Things changed the first time Robert had nipped out, and Seb had woken up, tiny lungs loud enough to bring the walls down around them. They’d changed when Aaron had picked him up and cradled him close, trailing his index finger in a feather light touch down the baby’s nose. He remembered doing that when Leo was just born, remembered how it had calmed him down and sent him back to sleep.

They’d changed when Robert came home and saw Aaron sprawled across the sofa, Seb stretched across his chest and fast asleep. He’d been in awe, Aaron, at the way the baby breathed and shuffled against him. 

And he’d wondered exactly how he ever thought he couldn’t love Seb.

Which is why he doesn’t think twice about comforting him at 3am.

“I’m sure,” He says, and leans down to kiss Robert once more because he can. The older man looks shattered, black smudges under his eyes from getting up three times a night for weeks (on top of dealing with the crash all those weeks ago). “Go back to sleep.” 

Robert loops his fingers around Aaron’s wrist and squeezes gently, sending a lopsided smile the younger man’s way. “Thank you,” He says, but he stays where he is, propped against the headboard. 

Aaron creeps past Vic’s room as quietly as he can - though he needn’t bother, with the set of lungs on that baby - and lifts Seb out of his cot, shushing him. He seems to quieten down a little when he feels Aaron’s hand on the back of his head, and Aaron can’t help but feel a little proud about it - maybe he’s getting used to me.

“Hey,” He whispers, rocking the boy gently. He’s still whining a bit, but at least he’s not screaming anymore. “Hey, come on. You’re alright.” 

His breath stutters when Seb opens his eyes and stares up at him. They’re wide, so wide and the exact shade of green as Robert’s, tiny little mouth dropped in awe as his arm stretches.

It’s the small fingers curling around the short hairs of his beard that sets him off, really, the way Seb seems fascinated with him. That’s why he doesn’t hear soft footsteps padding into the room.

“Hey,” Robert whispers, and Aaron blinks to shake himself out of his thoughts. He doesn’t realise he’s crying until he feels his wet eyelashes against his cheeks, but he’s not embarrassed about it. He just sends a shaky (and gobsmacked) smile Robert’s way. “Milk.” 

He takes the bottle from Robert and ignores the way his heart beats a little faster when their fingers brush. This is my family, he thinks when he starts feeding the baby. The one I built for myself.

“I’m so in love with you,” Robert blurts from the doorway, all in one breath. He doesn’t really seem aware that he’s said it, but his cheeks flush red as he carries on watching Aaron feed his son. 

Aaron laughs, a short happy thing that he doesn’t think he’s ever heard come from his own mouth before, and he turns his cheek to accept the sloppy kiss that Robert plants him. “I love you too,” He whispers, and feels the truth of it right down to his bones as Seb curls his warm palm around his little finger. “Both of you.” 

And he never thought he’d get here, not in the slightest - but he is and he does love them, more than should be possible.


	33. "let's run away together."

Even the three knocks on the front door are shaky, and Aaron can tell straight away (with his heart in his mouth) who it is. 

They don’t do this often, not in broad daylight at any rate: Robert standing outside, waiting to be invited in, eyes glinting with something cocky and fond. Aaron opening the front door with a smile, ignoring Paddy’s not-all-that-serious glaring, pulling Robert in by the hand.

This time’s a little different, though. He knows Robert well enough to tell by the knocks.

He opens the front door slowly, like trying not to frighten off a deer, trying to cover all the creaks and groans. “Hi,” He says quietly, simply. 

Robert looks up, and looks awful. The dark circles under his eyes would be black enough to look like bruises, if it wasn’t for the actual bruise on his cheekbone. He’s exhausted, bone-deep shattered as he sways on the doorstep. “Gonna let me in?” He asks, voice hoarse like he’s been crying.

“Come on,” Aaron says, moving to the side so Robert can get past. He doesn’t move much further though, just takes two steps inside the house and then- then he just falls into Aaron’s arms. “Upstairs.” 

He takes another minute to tuck his face into Aaron’s neck, muscles trembling under the younger man’s hands and then pulls back with a smile that looks a little more real. “Thanks,” He whispers, linking their hands together as Aaron pulls them towards the stairs.

It’s like he’s unsteady on his feet, focusing too hard on taking each step, and Aaron holds tight. Robert, he’s been there for Aaron more times than either of them can count but now - now, it’s the other way round, and Aaron would never deny his boyfriend that.

“What happened?” Aaron asks softly, shutting the door behind him. He rakes his eyes over Robert’s form, sitting on the edge of the bed and hunched over, head in his hands.

God, it’s so unlike him. It makes something tight and uncomfortable coil in Aaron’s belly. 

Robert doesn’t reply, just tucks his shaking hands between his thighs and tries to hide his flinch when Aaron sits next to him. He doesn’t move when the younger man curls his fingers around his neck though, just breathes out a dizzy sigh of relief and leans into it.

“Is it Jack?” Aaron says, not missing the way Robert tenses at the name. It feels bitter on his tongue, that question - because he shouldn’t be asking it. He shouldn’t be finding out if his boyfriend’s dad hates him that much. 

Robert laughs, a numb, fearful thing that makes the hair on the back of Aaron’s neck stand up. “God,” He says on a sigh, resting the side of his face against Aaron’s shoulder. “No, it was Andy.”

Not that it matters, Aaron thinks. Because all he did was cover the mark your dad left.

“We argued, again,” Robert says. His voice is quiet and a little terrified, but Aaron can feel the tension slowing disappearing as he edges closer. “He still thinks that I’m- that this is for attention. My sexuality.” 

It cuts Aaron deep, sometimes (all of the time) to know that half of Robert’s family don’t accept him. Aaron had a rough time of it, sure, but he had his mum and Paddy and Robert. 

Robert, well, he only really has Aaron. He just wishes that it was enough.

“I did hit him first,” Robert continues, words spilling out of him like bile. “But it was only because of what he was saying, Aaron, god-”

“Hey,” Aaron says, as soothing as he can muster. He wraps his arm entirely around Robert’s shoulder and tangles their fingers with his free hand, drops a soft kiss into his hair. “It doesn’t matter, alright? What they say, it doesn’t mean anything. Because you know.”

Robert takes a deep breath and blinks a few times, the wet sweep of his eyelashes against Aaron’s collarbone. “Yeah,” He murmurs, and his voice sounds a little steadier now. “I know.” 

He pulls Aaron back by the waist and arranges them so that they’re laying down, his head on Aaron’s chest and an arm over his stomach. “I hate it here,” He says, words muffled against the younger man’s t-shirt. “I just want to get out. Me and you, facing the world.” 

“I know,” Aaron sighs, carding his fingers through Robert’s hair. He does know, because he wants that too - to take the world together, to do the things he’s always wanted to. It’s nice, Emmerdale, but it’s not what Aaron’s ever wanted for himself. “We’ll travel and we’ll see things. We’ll go to Paris.”

“Put a padlock on the Pont des Arts,” Robert says, humming his agreement. He’s smiling now, mouth curved up against Aaron’s stomach, and his shaking has died down. “Let’s run away together.”

It shocks a laugh out of Aaron, short and bright and nothing like he’s ever heard himself sound like, and he squeezes Robert’s neck a little. “Don’t think Vic would be too happy about that, do you?” He teases, and grins when Robert shifts to hover over him.

“I don’t care,” He whispers, eyes focused and burning green as he stares hard at Aaron. “I don’t care what they think anymore. Not about you, not about us. I just know that I love you and that’s enough.”

He sweeps down and kisses the younger man, forceful but a never-ending comfort. His teeth are nipping Aaron’s lower lip and his tongue is brushing into his mouth; his hand is curling into the sheets while the other is tangling into Aaron’s hair.

It is enough, for Aaron. It’s enough that he loves and is loved, and at the end of it all, it’s Robert.

That’s all that matters.


	34. "not you again."

It’s not like Robert’s _obsessing_ or anything. He’s not going through his teenage girl phase, no matter what Vic says. And it’s not a coincidence, he just- he likes that garage, all right? He knows his car is in safe hands.

Which is why the minute he hears something that sounds the tiniest bit off, he’s back there, smiling bashfully (not shyly) at one of the mechanics. He’s young, this bloke, barely in his twenties, but his eyes are so warm that Robert, well, he pretty much fell for him straight away.

Which is embarrassing, to say the least.

He pulls up to the garage and automatically checks his hair in the mirror, brushing invisible dust off of his blazer, before he can even catch himself doing it. When he does, he thinks, snap out of it, Robert. Jesus, he never used to be this person. 

He opens the door and steps out before he can even question his own movements. He’s not nervous. He doesn’t get like that around anyone, because that’s not who he is. 

He wishes his heart would get the memo.

“Hey,” He calls, raising his voice to be heard over the radio tinnily blasting Green Day. There’s a mug on the side and the man - the one that Robert’s taken a liking to, as his sister would put it - has his head under the bonnet of a car, humming away without a care in the world. 

When he hears Robert though, his head shoots up, narrowly avoiding smacking into the car. A smirk plasters onto his face, though it’s soft around the edges like he really doesn’t mean it. “Not you again,” He teases, picking the mug up and taking a sip.

But his eyes never leave Robert’s.

“Making a weird noise,” Robert shrugs, gesturing to the car behind him. Obviously he could probably figure it out himself, but this mechanic is almost worth shelling out the money for.

“I’ll take a quick look at it,” The man says, his amused smile almost hidden under his beard. He catches the keys almost expertly when Robert throws them over, and saunters over to the car like he hasn’t got a care in the world.

And Robert just watches him, unashamedly.

It feels like seconds but it’s probably longer (and not because Robert got lost in watching him. Maybe), and he straightens his back. “All sorted!” He says, locking the car and handing the keys back to Robert. “Just a loose connection. Nothing to worry about, really, and I’m surprised it made a noise.”

Well- it probably did. Robert thought he’d heard it, but he’d also found an empty coke bottle rolling about in the back, left from when Vic had made him go to the cinema. So it was probably that. 

But he still fights the blush down and grins, as flirty as he can. “How much do I owe you?” He asks, stepping closer. He doesn’t miss the way the man’s eyes rake up and down his body, or the way his cheeks grow red.

“Call it a favour,” The mechanic says, lips twitching into a smile. 

“At least let me buy you dinner - or a drink,” Robert counters, but the man just rolls his eyes. “Come on…?” 

He leaves the question hanging, because he wants to know the mechanic’s name, wants to taste it on his tongue and shape his lips around it.

“Aaron,” The mechanic - Aaron - says. Robert’s breath catches in his throat for finally being able to put a name to the face.

“Come on, Aaron,” He says, letting his fingertips graze Aaron’s elbow. He softens his grin into a smile. “You know why I’m here.”

Aaron raises his eyebrows, but Robert can tell he’s biting his tongue on a grin. “Do I?” He teases, taking half a step forward. They’re almost touching now, the zip of Robert’s jacket brushing against the buttons of Aaron’s overalls, and it makes him dizzy with how much he wants. 

And it’s not just sex he wants, not like it normally is. He wants to get to know Aaron, wants to know his likes and dislikes, what pisses him off and makes him smile.

“There’s something different about you,” Robert explains, not bothering to hide the honesty in his voice. He feels it right down to his toes, anyway. “I want to get to know you.” 

He can see the minute Aaron’s resolve crumbles, and then he’s smiling, this tiny, brilliant thing beaming from his face. “Yeah, I guess I do know,” He says, ducking his head bashfully. “Go on then. Dinner would be good.” 

“Great!” Robert says, handing his phone over for Aaron to put his number in. He can’t help but duck forward and press a kiss to the younger man’s cheek when he hands it back, and feels Aaron’s fingers curl into his leather jacket. “See you later then.” 

Later turns into months, into years and a marriage and two kids. And Robert, he knew he was making the right call the minute he stepped into that garage. When he tells Aaron, the younger man just smiles. 

Because he’d made the right call too.


	35. teen!au + aaron asking robert to prom.

The thing between them is by no means new, but it’s definitely confusing. It started not long after Aaron came out, and a month or so before Robert did. 

It was a few teasing comments at first, some slight flirting and heavy teasing, words and looks and smirks and nothing more. Aaron expected it to stay that way (even though he did want more).

He just didn’t expect it to be such a head fuck.

It was Stacey Hinckley’s party at the end of year twelve when something had finally happened. They were sharing a cigarette in the back garden, drunk enough to be swaying slightly but not enough to forget the morning after.

Biting words and flushed cheeks, Robert’s mouth next to his ear, fingers brushing together. Aaron remembers it like it was yesterday.

“You know what they say about blowing smoke in someone’s face, don’t you?” Robert say, smirking slightly, after Aaron had done just that. He takes the cigarette back and pulls in a deep breath, mouth forming into a perfect little ‘o’. 

Aaron pulls a face, tugging down the sleeves of his hoodie. “No,” He huffs, because he doesn’t. He’s not a girl - he doesn’t listen to that sort of shit.

“It means you need to kiss me,” Robert says, expression schooling into something serious. His pupils expand until his eyes are mostly black, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip.

But Aaron doesn’t move. He feels frozen in shock, frozen in the moment. He can’t take his gaze off of Robert’s mouth, not even when he flicks the cigarette away and moves in closer.

But he does close his eyes when Robert kisses him, soft and gentle and everything that a first kiss should be. There’s a hand on his face and the other on his knee, Robert’s tongue swiping along his lower lip.

It’s fucking incredible. Aaron’s half hard and he shouldn’t be, not from a kiss like that, but he can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed about it. Not when Robert pulls back with kiss-swollen lips and burning red cheeks.

He looks exactly how Aaron feels. 

“There’s plenty of time for other stuff later,” Robert whispers, their lips brushing as he talks.

And they spend the rest of the night making out under the stars. It’s perfect. 

.

They dance around their feelings for what feels like years, but it’s only six months. It’s painful, really, spending nights on end snogging like teenagers in barns and cars and wherever they can, and then ignoring it all in the daylight.

They don’t talk about it. 

Not even when Robert has a free house and cooks a three-course meal, a single red rose in a small vase in the middle of the table.

Not even when Robert takes him upstairs and kisses him until he’s breathless, spreads him out until he’s whimpering and begging.

No, not even then.

He spends the night - which is a first - and wakes up to Robert’s arm slung over his stomach, mouth pressed to his shoulder. He wakes up to the puff of soft breath on his skin and a leg tucked between his, and for the first time, he thinks, this could be forever. 

But they still don’t talk about it.

.

God, sometimes it feels like they’re more off than on. They argue about everything really: about Robert’s uni choices and Aaron’s questionable friends.

Sometimes it feels like there’s not a day goes by when they don’t argue. 

But they’re off, now. Barely talking, apart from trying to pretend they’re friends. Gotta keep up the pretence, right?

That’s what Robert had said anyway. 

It’s still sickening, the thought of it, of not even being able to touch Robert. Aaron had been the one to call it off, sure - but his boyfriend had barely spoken to him for an entire week. 

This time feels different; feels breakable. It’s only a week until the end of term, and then they’re finished with school. Sixth form is over, Aaron’s got a full-time job at Cain’s garage, and Robert’s going to uni.

It could be the end. It feels like the end.

There’s posters lined across the walls of the common room, printed on ridiculously bright neon paper and boldly stating ‘leavers ball! friday 8th june!’. It’s an eyesore, really. 

It reminds Aaron of who he would’ve gone with, but it doesn’t matter now.

.

“Aaron!” Chas yells from across the bar. He rolls his eyes but slouches over anyway, hoping that he can at least get a pint and a bowl of chips from whatever she wants him for. “You’re late.”

“Was in town,” He says, slinging his backpack on the floor. “Can I get a drink?” 

Chas looks bewildered for a second, blinking like a deer caught in the headlights, and Aaron doesn’t know why exactly she hasn’t picked up a glass and started pouring the beer. “No, you need to go through the back,” She says, voice a little high-pitched but face completely firm. 

“Why?” He groans. He just wants a drink and some food, and then he wants to lay face down in bed for twelve hours. He deserves to wallow in his self pity. 

“Because I said so!” Chas snaps, waving an arm in the direction of the back room. “Just go.” 

Aaron does as his told. He knows better than to argue with his mother - she’s a nightmare in normal conversations, let alone when she wants something. 

He stomps through to the back room, slings his bag in the hall and kicks his trainers off, and goes through to the room.

And sees Robert, standing there, gripping the edge of the dining table.

He looks awful, now he’s taken that mask off. That mask, the one he wears around their friends, the one that says no more than two words to Aaron, the one who doesn’t care. 

“I wanted to see you,” He says quietly. His voice is hoarse, like maybe he’s been crying, but his eyes aren’t red. Just dark shadows like bruises, and the downturn of his mouth.

“Think you’ve said enough,” Aaron says shortly, about to turn and just run, but Robert grabs his wrist, fingers around skin and bone. He’s not holding tight enough to bruise - he knows what that feels like, Robert’s fingerprints marked on his skin, holding him down as he kisses him senseless - but it’s enough to make Aaron falter.

There’s a moment, two, where there’s nothing but silence, both of them fighting back the shiver that travels down their spines from the touch. “I’m not going,” Robert says finally, thumb grazing the thin skin on the inside of Aaron’s wrist. “I’m not moving away for uni. I’m staying here and commuting to Leeds.”

“Why?” Aaron asks, even though he’s dizzy with relief. He clutches the sideboard with his free hand, takes two deep breaths through his nose.

“Because I don’t want to leave you,” Robert says simply, eyes sincere and not a trace of humour on his face. “Because I love you.” 

Something spreads through Aaron’s veins, warmth and energetic and another thing that he knows but can’t put a name to. He wants to say it, tries to force the words off his tongue. “Robert, I-” He says, shaking his head. He’s embarrassed, cheeks flushing because he can’t tell Robert of all people how he really feels. “I do…” 

“I know,” Robert says, smiling slightly. He looks like a boy with that smile on his face, like the boy that Aaron fell in love with - soft and confident and ridiculously kind. “I don’t want to hide it anymore.” 

Aaron stays quiet, tracks his eyes over Robert’s face. He doesn’t want to see any sign of the opposite, but he can’t help it. He’s been let down too many times before. 

He doesn’t find whatever he’s looking for.

“Go to prom with me,” He blurts, words tripping over each other. “I want- I want you to be my date to prom. Not as- as friends, as boyfriends. As a couple.” 

Robert laughs something that sounds like sheer relief, and steps forward, takes Aaron into his arms. He tucks his face into the younger boy’s curls, breathes in deep, and says, “I thought you’d never ask.”  
This thing between them is by no means new, but it’s defined now. It’s a relationship. It’s difficult to navigate and even harder to explain, but they’re happy.

Aaron’s happy, for the first time in his life. Because he can see his future.


	36. "why do you hate me?"

Aaron’s got his eyes closed, but the room’s still spinning. His head is pounding and his mouth is like the Sahara in a heatwave, but that’s not what’s most confusing.

No, what’s most confusing is the person plastered to his back.

It takes half a second and then another to work out that it’s Robert. Robert Sugden, in his bed, a warm weight pinning him down.

The realisation shouldn’t make him feel as sick as it does. 

It’s just that he knows how this goes: Robert will wake up, roll onto his back and blink at Aaron for a second. Then he’ll sit up, get dressed and leave, without more than a single grunt.

So, yeah. Nausea. 

He’s a fucking idiot for doing this again. He’d promised himself after last time (and the time before that) that he wouldn’t put himself in this situation. He was already stupidly, painfully head over heels for Robert - why go making it even worse? 

But apparently that didn’t stick. 

Robert wakes up with a groan and a deep exhale, fingers tightening on Aaron’s hip for a second before he seems to realise where he is. His grip goes slack and he rolls over, presumably staring at the ceiling. Aaron doesn’t dare to look. 

Like clockwork, Robert sits up, on the edge of the bed as he reaches for his jeans. There’s the clinking of his belt as he buckles it, the sound of his shirt going over his shoulders.

Then he stands, and Aaron finally plucks up the courage to turn onto his back, to watch Robert. He looks at him with careful eyes and minimal movement. No point scaring him off and speeding up the process, is there?

And that’s why he can’t explain the words that come out of his mouth.

“Why do you hate me?” He asks, then recoils back, horrified. He drops his gaze, doesn’t dare look at Robert, but he feels the mattress dip as the older man sits back down.

“What?” He says, softsoftsoft, in a way he’s never been. It sets Aaron’s teeth on edge.

Anger rises up Aaron’s throat like bile, black and bubbling, forcing the words out even though he tries to stop them. “You’re happy to fuck me when you’ve had a few,” He says coolly, and turns his head to gaze out the window. “But as soon as you’ve sobered up you couldn’t care less.” 

It’s true - as soon as the buzz of alcohol and the orgasm wears off, Robert’s gone with the wind, like he may as well not even have been there. Aaron wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if he couldn’t feel the ache afterwards.

“It’s not- It’s not like that,” Robert says, though it sounds dejected. He runs a hand over his face and through his hair, then rubs the back of his neck. “It’s just difficult.” 

Aaron’s head snaps round like he’s been slapped, and he stares at Robert with an open mouth. “What, difficult to pretend you don’t hate me?” He snaps, shoving the duvet aside and grabbing his clothes. “’Cause it’s such a hardship to actually talk to the person you’ve been shagging all night!”

“You don’t understand,” Robert says heavily, turning so he can watch Aaron get dressed. The younger man turns his back, doesn’t want to even look at Robert right now, but he can still feel his gaze burning holes. 

The silence becomes too much, too suffocating, so he turns round. “Go on, explain then,” He says, spreading his arms in expectance. Robert stays quiet and glances at the floor, the wall, anywhere but Aaron’s face. “Yeah, thought not. Get out.” 

“Er, you what?” Robert asks, face the perfect picture of shock. He stands deadly still, half-buttoned shirt still flapping open.

“I said,” Aaron says with a low voice - threatening. He kicks Robert’s shoes towards him and then follows, crowding the older man towards the door. “Get. Out.”

Robert blinks, still not moving, but then he sparks back to life. “Aaron, you really don’t understand!” He says, desperate. His eyes are wild as they track over Aaron’s face, and he grabs him by the elbows before he can shove him. “Aaron!” 

“Tell me then!” Aaron cries, trying to wrench his arms free. Robert just holds tighter, pulls him closer.

“It’s difficult because I love you!” Robert explodes. His face is a lighter shade of red and his eyes are shining in the lamplight, but he takes a step back and releases his grip of Aaron. “I love you.”

He just sounds defeated now, hair a mess and head turned to the side, but Aaron blows out a slow breath and takes him all in. He tracks the working of Robert’s jaw, the flutter of his eyelashes, his adam’s apple bobbing at the base of his throat.

“You mean that?” He asks, low and quiet, like trying not to scare a dear or break a moment. He doesn’t know which is worse.

“Yeah,” Robert breathes, but it’s firm. He turns his head back to meet Aaron’s gaze. “I love you, and that scares me, because I don’t know how to deal with it.” 

Aaron lets his eyes fall shut, but when he opens them, Robert’s still looking. “I love you too,” He says evenly, even though his heart feels like it’s going to burst right out of his chest. “And I’ve hurt everyone I’ve ever loved. So you’re not the only one.” 

“What do we do, then?” Robert whispers, chewing his lower lip. His arms are crossed over his chest like he’s trying to protect himself, but he needn’t bother.

Aaron’s got him now.

“We figure it out together,” Aaron says, voice small and reassuring. He steps forward - and half expects Robert to take a step back, but he doesn’t - and lifts a hand, curving his palm around the older man’s jaw. “Together.” 

Robert’s shoulders sag with relief and his arms fall to his sides, to grip Aaron’s. “I don’t know what I’m going to be like,” He admits, pressing their foreheads together. He closes his eyes and slides his nose along the line of Aaron’s cheek, lips brushing warm skin. “But I’m going to try.” 

He leans forward, catches Aaron’s mouth with his own, and kisses him soft and slow. It’s not the first time they’ve kissed, but it’s the first time like this, and Aaron’s heartbeat doubles with the fondness of it.

“And that’s enough,” Aaron whispers, tangling his fingers in Robert’s hair. He dives back in and kisses him harder, deeper - a promise.


	37. teachers au

The first time Robert sets eyes on Aaron, he knows for sure that he’s absolutely, positively _fucked_. 

It’s the headteacher, Mrs Sugden - yes, Robert’s step-mother, not that he’s going to indulge the kids with that information - that introduces them first.

“Robert!” Diane says as she claps her hands together. There’s a sparkle in her eyes, gleeful at the prospect of setting Robert up, to the point that he groans. “Meet Mr Dingle - _Aaron_.”   


She says it like a hint, in a way that has Aaron confused at the attention and Robert willing a blush away furiously. “Nice to meet you,” He says slowly, dragging his eyes up the length of the younger man’s body. He’s wearing trousers and a shirt, fitting his frame perfectly - not too casual, but not too smart. Not a suit, like Robert. He immediately feels overdressed.

“Likewise, Robert,” Aaron says, a pull to his voice that has Robert wanting to fall at his feet. He holds his hand out and the older man takes it, feeling Aaron’s fingertips rough against the thin skin of his wrist.  


“Now,” Diane says, authority in her voice. Robert hates that - she usually saves it for the kids, but she argues that he _is_ one of her kids. “Robert, would you mind showing Aaron around? I would do it, but there’s a couple of year tens that need a bit of guidance.”   


She says _a bit of guidance_ like they haven’t (more than likely) blown up the C floor toilets, like she doesn’t want Aaron to know what these kids are like.

He’s soon going to find out, anyway.

“‘Course,” He says, polite as he can muster. It’s not like he doesn’t want to show Aaron around - he does, but god, it’s unprofessional, isn’t it? Wanting to get into the new PE teacher’s pants?  


Still. Aaron’s eyes all but light up, and it looks like he doesn’t have a choice. 

.

“Been here long then?” Aaron asks, falling into step beside Robert. Their hands swing at their sides, close enough to feel the heat but not enough to touch.  


“About six years, give or take a few months,” Robert says, deciding honesty is the best policy. No point beating around the bush. “This school wasn’t my first choice, but what with the government cuts, well- it’s just hard. You’d know that.”   


Aaron, he looks like he’s barely graduated. There’s a glint to his eyes and a glow to his skin that spending five days a week with teenagers hasn’t taken yet, and Robert knows he looks the polar opposite. “I don’t see what’s so bad about it,” He says, firmly. 

Robert looks around. The school looks decent, yeah, in the right shade of daylight (and if you close both eyes and turn around), but he wanted to be at a _public school_. Better pay, better kids. “That’s just the fresh coat of paint,” He mutters. He’s only _slightly_ bitter. 

“For me,” Aaron says, an edge to his voice. “It’s about the kids.”  


And yeah, it is, but sometimes Robert has a hard time remembering that. “I know,” He sighs, and watches the hard line of Aaron’s shoulders deflate. “It is for me, too. But it’s hard to remember that when they don’t respect you. _At all_.” 

“Gotta earn it,” Aaron says. A cheeky smile sits on his face, and he nudges his shoulder against Robert’s.  


Maybe it is going to be all right.

.

So the thing is, Robert falls for Aaron fast. Hard and fast and there’s no stopping it, not that he’d even want to.

Aaron is breathtakingly kind, if Robert’s being honest. He’s kind and hard but amazing with the kids, and he fast becomes the favourite teacher of the school.

(He fast becomes Robert’s too, but that’s a secret).

And Robert falls helplessly, ridiculously in love with him. It seems like everyone but Aaron knows it, judging by the kids:

_“Mr Sugden,” One of Robert’s kids says. They’re year nine, probably the worst - school doesn’t really matter at this point and they’re ridiculously gobby. Not to mention ridiculously obsessed with the teachers’ lives outside of school. The kid’s got a smirk on his face. Robert already knows where this is going. “Are you and Mr Dingle a thing?”  
_

_“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Robert replies, scowl on his face. He goes back to marking books but a murmur ripples across the class, and he spots at least two other students raising their hands. “And if_ anyone _mentions my private life ever again, you’ll be in detention for a week. Understand?”_  


_The kids shut their mouths and look suspiciously interested in their work._

And judging by the other teachers: 

_“Robert!” Diane whispers, handing Robert a coffee while sitting in the seat opposite. “Have you managed to ask Aaron out yet?”  
_

_He barely refrains from rolling his eyes, but the coffee’s softened him up a bit. “Not going to happen,” He says, with a tight smile. He can’t escape. “It won’t end well, and I’d rather spare the awkwardness.”_

_“Oh!” Vic says, crowding into Robert’s space. She throws her arms around his shoulders and squeezes tight. “Are we talking about Aaron?”  
_

_“_ We _are not talking about anything,” He huffs, downing his coffee and grabbing his folder. “I’m going to work in my classroom.”_  


So, yeah. Aaron’s the only one who doesn’t realise.

Which is nice, really, because it stays innocent. A harmless crush, and nothing more. 

Until _that_ night.

.

Christmas nights out are messy at best and disastrous at worst. This one’s more messy (thankfully), which is nothing short of incredible considering it’s almost 3am. There’s only a few left standing; Robert, Aaron, Victoria, and Finn. 

The beer’s making Robert’s muscles loose, making him smile a little easier at Finn’s jokes. Aaron’s grinning too, at Robert, when he thinks he’s not looking. It’s- well, it’s nice, innit?

Plus, Robert’s feeling a little brave.

“Mr. Barton!” Vic calls in a sing-song voice. She’s well past tipsy and dangerously into drunk, and Robert’s considering taking her home, but it looks like she’s got that covered herself. “Take me home!”  


Finn frowns at the way Vic drapes herself over him, clinging like a monkey. “I would, you know,” He says, with a lopsided grin. “But you’ve- well, you’ve just got the wrong parts. Maybe if I was that way inclined.”

Robert can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes, but Aaron laughs, short and sweet, into his pint. “Not like _that_!” Vic cries, batting at Finn’s chest. “C’mon, we’re sharing a taxi. Let’s go.” 

“Alright,” Finn says, but he sounds amused. He helps Victoria shrug her jacket on and helps her to her feet. “See you later, boys.”   


And then Vic leans down and presses a sloppy kiss against Robert’s cheek, whispering, “Sort it out!” and winking at him.

Subtle as a brick, his sister.

Alone, they lapse into silence. The bar is busy enough that it’s not awkward, though, and Aaron keeps sneaking little secretive smiles at him.

Right. Enough is enough.

“Have you had a good night?” Aaron asks at the same time Robert opens his mouth. He takes a sip of his pint and watches the tells on the older man’s face, tracking him with his gaze.  


“Yeah,” Robert says, clearing his throat. Aaron downs the rest of his drink and shrugs on his jacket, so he follows suit. “Yeah, it was nice. Did you?” 

They dodge the drunks to get outside, and Robert shivers a little against the chill. Thankfully, the taxi rank is on the same street, and they walk in silence. Aaron’s worrying the skin on his bottom lip with his teeth, staring at the ground.

“The night’s not over yet,” He says suddenly, coming to a stop. He turns and stares at Robert with something shining in his eyes - hope, lust, something Robert doesn’t want to put a name to - and curls his fingers around the older man’s elbow. “Come home with me.”   


Robert blinks, mouth working even though words don’t come out. “What?” He asks, even though he heard perfectly. He’s just not sure that’s what Aaron _meant_. 

“I said,” Aaron says, leaning in closer so that his lips are brushing Robert’s earlobe. “ _Come home with me_.”   


“Yeah, okay,” Robert says, syllables tripping over each other as they fall out of his mouth. He dips his head down and kisses Aaron, soft and short, on the mouth. “There’s nothing I want more.”  


.

“Mr. Sugden,” Ellie says, staring at him with raised eyebrows. She’s one of his favourite kids - she’s bright, and takes no shit, but he also knows that she’s got a mouth on her. He’s praying that it’s actually about this algebra question, but he knows better by now. “When were you going to tell us that you and Mr Dingle are together?”   


“Miss Shipman,” He replies, mocking, but keeps his face entirely neutral. “First off, as I’ve said before, my private life is _not_ your business. Second off, we aren’t.”  


She blinks once, twice, and bursts out laughing. “I saw you over Christmas,” She says, lowering her voice conspiratorially, but she’s still loud enough that the rest of the class (and probably the one next door) can hear. “In that gay bar in town!” 

“Do you wanna tell me what you were doing in a _nightclub_ at the ripe old age of sixteen?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. She blushes beet red and shuffles lower in her chair, while the kids around her giggle. “No, thought not.”   


That’s an end to that.

Of course, Robert is realistic - so when the kids are actually focused on their work for once, he pulls his phone out under his desk and texts Aaron.

_Just a warning, the kids know. Good luck._

And then, without thinking about it, he sends another.

_Love you. X_


	38. "we're meant for each other."

“Aaron,” Robert says, anger bleeding through to his tone. He curls his hands into fists and breathes out through his nose, then unclenches his fingers. Aaron watches every second of it. “You can’t just- act like you’ve moved on and then tell me you love me.” 

He turns his head to the side and Aaron watches the way his jaw clenches then relaxes, the way it does when he’s stressed or upset or angry. “But I didn’t move on,” Aaron says quietly. He reaches for Robert’s hand, but the older man yanks it away like he’s been burned. 

“What if I did?” Robert snaps, taking a step back. His eyes look wild and conflicted, desperate and heartbroken. There’s _no way_. Aaron knows him too well. 

Doesn’t he?

“Have you?” He asks, letting the crushing sadness drip into his voice. His heart beats three times as fast and shakes, like it knows it’s about to get broken. He manages to keep it under control.  


Robert deflates, drops his head and stares at the floor. “No,” He admits softly, a resignation. “I don’t think I could if I tried.” 

“Then what are we waiting for?” Aaron asks desperately, taking a step forward and circling his fingers around Robert’s wrist. He could pull away but he doesn’t, and Aaron takes that as a win.  


“Alright, yeah, you’ve decided that you love me now,” Robert says, but he seems like he’s hesitant of talking himself out of it. “But what if you wake up tomorrow and change your mind _again_?”   


“I won’t,” Aaron counters immediately, thumb tracing the veins on the inside of Robert’s wrist. “But we can take it slow if that makes you feel better.”  


Robert laughs, short and barking and somewhat unkind. “We said that last time,” He says bitterly. He gestures between the two of them with stiff, jerky movements. “And look where we are now.”

“Robert,” Aaron says quietly. He takes Robert’s chin in his hand and forces him to look, to meet his gaze head on. “We’re _meant_ for each other.”   


Something settles in Robert, under his skin, and he breathes out shakily. His eyes clear and he smiles, tentative. “Yeah, I know,” He admits, then gives up the ghost and kisses Aaron for all he’s worth.

Their lips slot together in the same way their hands and bodies do - like a jigsaw puzzle, like maybe, someone out there actually did make them for each other.

They slot together and hold tight, and Aaron knows that he’ll _never_ let go again.


	39. the way you said i love you: with no space between us

_with no space left between us_

Robert’s still shaking, normally golden skin pale to the point it’s almost translucent. His eyes are glazed and every so often, his chin wobbles. Aaron doesn’t know what to do to make it better.

“Rob,” He says softly, quietly. He curves his palm around Robert’s cheek and tilts his head, looks him in the eye. “Vic’s okay. She’s _okay_.”  


He blows out a shaky breath, covers Aaron’s hand with his own. “Yeah,” He says, but his voice cracks and a tear slides down his cheek. “But she could’ve _died_. I don’t know what I’d do.”

Truthfully, the crash wasn’t that bad - just a broken leg for Vic and some scrapes for the other driver, but the Dinky Diner’s van had burst into flames, and they all know Robert’s history with fire. Aaron knows that even _that_ isn’t what this is about, though.

“Victoria is _fine_ , Robert. Broken bones heal,” He says, watching Robert get into bed. He watches his cheeks go from pale to flushed in a matter of seconds, watches him close his eyes and swallow. “What’s this really about?” 

Robert’s silent for a minute, two; until Aaron finally gets into bed and pulls the duvet up to their necks. He presses close enough that his head is resting on the older man’s pillow, and grips his hand in the space between their chests.

“It could’ve been any of us,” Robert admits, barely more than a choked noise. Tears fall steadily now, tattooing red streaks onto his cheeks and making his eyelashes wet. “A drunk driver, someone going too fast. Across the road and straight into us. Probably wouldn’t have ended anything like today though, with our luck.”  


He sounds- dejected, maybe. Resigned and heartbroken, like it’s inevitable instead of a possibility. “I know,” Aaron replies, a whisper. 

“What if that was _you_?” Robert says, a look of horror on his face at the thought. He swallows hard and closes his eyes, as if hiding from it.  


Aaron uses his free hand to curl the older man’s fingers around his wrist, resting his index and middle finger on his pulse and tightens the grip. “I’m here, I’m _alive_ ,” He murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss onto Robert’s lips. It tastes a little salty from the tears, and he uses his thumb to wipe them away. “And I love you.” 

“Don’t,” Robert says, a broken version of the word. His eyes open and he _looks_ broken too, like maybe he can’t handle hearing it.  


“I’m not going anywhere,” Aaron says firmly. He presses another kiss onto Robert’s lips, harder this time, and wraps his fingers around his wrist. He’s skin and bone, really - delicate. _Breakable_. Aaron doesn’t let himself think like that. He can’t. “I _love_ you.”   


Robert takes a deep shaky breath, then another, blows them out through his nose. His eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, dark in the shadows, and he wraps an arm around Aaron’s shoulders to pull him impossibly closer. “I love you too,” He murmurs, quiet and sleepy. Aaron understands; it’s been a long day. “Promise me you’ll never leave.”

Something in Robert’s voice makes Aaron’s tongue feel a little heavy in his mouth, like he can’t speak around it. He swallows and licks his lips, brushes his nose against Robert’s, revels in the heat surrounding him. _We’re alive_. “I promise,” He says eventually, but Robert’s breathing has already evened out into something peaceful.

If he stays up the entire night, watching the rise and fall of Robert’s chest, no one needs to know - just him and his husband trading smiles over coffee the next day.


	40. soulmates au + "do i love you? yes. do i like you? that's still up for debate."

They have a house now.

A proper, actual relationship, and a cottage in the village, four steps away from Keeper’s and six away from the pub. Robert is living in the village with a _boyfriend_ , in their own home, while they debate getting a dog.

Aaron never thought they’d get here, but Robert always surprises him.

Which is exactly what happens when he walks into the bedroom after finally putting the cutlery away. Robert’s standing in front of their bed, hands on his hips as he frowns at the piece of furniture like it’s offended him.

“What now?” Aaron asks with a sigh. They’ve been through this with at least ten different things, at least ten times. It’s getting a little ridiculous now - not to mention _repetitive_.   


“The sheets,” Robert says decisively. He’s clearly been thinking about it for a while, then.  


No one could ever tell Aaron that he didn’t know what he was getting into. 

“What about them?” Aaron asks, running his eyes over them with a raised eyebrow. _He_ had bought the sheets, which, really, is a little - rude. But that’s never stopped Robert before.   


(Alright, yeah, the sheets came after an argument. One of many, to be honest. Robert didn’t think that Aaron was invested enough - like _buying a house_ isn’t a sign of commitment - and didn’t care about their future home.

So he’d gone to Dunelm, actually studied the sheets, and picked his favourites. More than he’d ever done for himself, really.

“You got-” Robert started, then took a deep breath. He looked down at the plastic wrapped sheets and then back up at Aaron with wet eyes. It would’ve been ridiculous, but the younger man could feel tears pricking his eyelids, too. “You bought these?”  


“I don’t want you to think I’m not interested,” Aaron said, shifting from foot to foot. He linked his hands behind his back and shrugged. “I’m just not good at this stuff.”   


That was all it took for Robert to cup Aaron’s face in his hands and surge forward, into a messy, biting kiss. “I love you,” He whispered, and then they spent the rest of the day in bed.) 

Aaron doesn’t really understand how Robert’s got an opinion on ( _everything_ ) the sheets. They’ve slept in them for one night. Eight hours. That’s not enough for an opinion on it, surely? Aside from the fact no one should have such strong feelings about fucking _sheets_ in the first place. 

“They’re scratchy,” Robert says with a shrug, running his fingertips over the material with a backward glance at Aaron. “No offence, but a bit cheap.”   


“Er, offence taken,” Aaron deadpans, glaring holes into Robert’s back. He can feel the warmth of his mark - Robert’s initials - on his wrist like always, humming under his skin. Right now it itches, the way it always does when he gets pissed off. “They’re from Dunelm.”  


Part of being soulmates, he’s supposes. Part of being soulmates with someone like _Robert_ , who’s the most natural irritant he’s ever met. 

“Exactly,” Robert says, nodding. He turns to look at Aaron, eyes bright, so he clearly hasn’t picked up on the younger man’s tone. He hasn’t picked up on the underlying _you’re a fucking idiot, seriously_. “I would’ve gone to John Lewis.”   


“Can you not be happy with _anything_ , Robert?” Aaron snaps. His mark is starting to burn a little now, but he just scratches it harder than necessary. “We’ve just got a house together, and you’re _still_ finding something to complain about.”   


He’s not _that_ pissed off, not really. He just feels a little under-appreciated, a little put out. 

Something dawns on Robert’s face ( _finally_ ), and he loops his fingers around Aaron’s wrist, thumb over his mark. “I’m sorry,” He says quietly, taking another step. “I love you.” 

That same flash of heat travels through Aaron’s body at the words, like it does every time. It’s- it’s really something special, your soulmate telling you that they love you. Aaron lives for the feeling.

But still. He stays quiet. 

“Don’t you love me?” Robert asks, as though he doesn’t know the answer. He catches Aaron’s lips with his own, soft and open-mouthed, and Aaron can’t help but kiss back.   


“Do I love you? Yes,” He says, ducking out of Robert’s grip. He glances over his body with something of a critical eye, staring at the sheets again. “Do I _like_ you? Well, that’s still up for debate.”   


“A shame,” Robert drawls, and then he’s got his hands holding tight on Aaron’s waist, tongue trailing hot paths down Aaron’s neck. His teeth drag on the vein at the same time his fingers slip under the younger man’s t-shirt. “Guess I’ll have to change your mind.”   


(For the record, he does).


	41. fake dating au

_fake dating au for[@frecklyrobert](https://tmblr.co/miByg0DLqkwb6udjPJg5cJQ)_

“Aaron,” Robert says. His voice sounds a little strange - strangled, sort of desperate, but that could just be the phone line. “I need you to do me a huge favour.”   


Yeah, maybe he didn’t hear wrong. “What now?” He asks, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. Robert’s breathing filters down the line, harsh and uneven.

“Canyoupretendtobemyboyfriend?” The older man says quickly, words tripping over themselves in a haste to get out of his mouth. He clears his throat, and then tries again, quieter this time. “Can you pretend to be my boyfriend?”  


“Er,” Aaron says, tries to think of _what situation_ would even make Robert ask for that. He comes up blank. “Why, exactly?”  


Robert blows out a breath, crackly over the line. “Vic’s getting married on Saturday,” He says softly, a fondness to his voice that Aaron recognises from his own when he talks about Liv. “And she constantly talks about me being single. I thought I’d find someone by the wedding, but obviously I _haven’t_ , and I’d rather not spend the whole day being the subject of conversation.” 

“Doesn’t normally bother you,” Aaron says mildly, but he’s running the scenario over in his mind. It doesn’t sound that bad, does it?   


“Please, Aaron,” Robert says, a sense of urgency to his tone. He’s almost at the verge of begging, and if Aaron hadn’t already decided, that would’ve been the thing that tips him over the edge.

“Go on then,” He sighs. “I suppose it can’t hurt.”   


[[MORE]]

.

As the days go on and Aaron thinks about it more, he realises that it i _s_ that bad and it _can_ hurt.

Somewhere within all the adrenaline of the question, Aaron had forgotten one tiny little detail - just the fact that he’s ridiculously in love with Robert Sugden. 

Still, he can’t turn back now: it’s already Saturday. He stands in front of the mirror for a minute longer, studying his suit. Something looks _off_ , but he can’t figure out what it is. 

“It’s your tie,” Robert says, coming out of the hotel room’s en suite. He stands behind Aaron and tracks his gaze over the younger man’s reflection, almost an appraisal. Aaron’s cheeks heat up, but he wills it away. “It’s done wrong.”  


He steps around Aaron and stills in front of him, blocking the view of the mirror as his hands work quickly on the tie. Aaron can feel the heat from his skin, watches the crown of his head as he ties it so intently. It makes the breath catch in his throat.

“There,” Robert says, fingers smoothing the material against Aaron’s chest. He steps away, back into position behind the younger man and shoots him a smile. “All sorted.”  


“Thanks,” Aaron says, mouth dry and heart beating ten to the dozen. This was _such_ a bad idea.   


“You look great,” Robert says, almost a confession. The words are hushed and his eyes blaze blue while his cheeks grow a shade pinker, and he claps a hand on Aaron’s shoulder before he turns away. “We should get going. Don’t wanna be late.”  


Just like that, the moment’s broken. Aaron blows out a soft breath and follows Robert.

.

He’s never met Robert’s family. They’ve been close - best friends, really - for so long, but it just never came up. But he’s heard enough about Vic, spoken in hushed, fond tones, that Aaron feels like he’s known her for as long as he’s known Robert. 

“Robert!” She cries, a lopsided smile on her face. The happiness is pouring out of her, glowing on her skin. She looks beautiful in her dress, hair done nicely, and Aaron’s hit with a phantom pang of pride for his own sister. “I’m so glad you’re here.”  


“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Vic,” Robert says softly, sweeping down to kiss her on the cheek. “Meet Aaron - my boyfriend.”  


Aaron doesn’t miss the way Victoria’s eyes light up, or the way she looks him up and down before nodding - he assumes it’s an approval. “It’s lovely to meet you,” He says politely, accepting her hug. “Robert’s spoken a lot about you.” 

“All good things, I hope!” She says with a laugh. She turns to Robert, eyebrows raised, and mutters, “He’s cute. I approve.”  


Robert grins, wide and easy as he slides his hand onto Aaron’s lower back. It’s a point of warmth that Aaron can’t help but focus on, but lean into. “As long as you do,” He says, pressing a kiss to Aaron’s temple.

He _knows_ that it’s for show - just playing pretend - but Aaron can’t help the way his heart jumps into his mouth. Robert’s lips on his, Robert’s fingers wrapped around his wrists, Robert’s arm slung across his chest: the images are like an attack, and he has to close his eyes to push them away.

It’s just a taste of what it’d be like to be Robert Sugden’s boyfriend, and he wants _more_. 

.

“Did you have a good night?” Robert says, words a little slurred. He’s barely past tipsy but his cheeks are flushed from it, eyes bright and movements looser. He starts tugging at his tie at the same time he toes his shoes off.  


Aaron’s definitely more sober - he didn’t know these people, and he can’t exactly make a bad impression. You know, as Robert’s _boyfriend_ and all. “It was great,” He says, ducking his head a little at the honesty in his voice. “Adam’s a good bloke.” 

“Vic could do better,” Robert grumbles, hanging his suit jacket up. At Aaron’s noise of protest he sighs and turns around, hands on his hips. He looks just a _bit_ ridiculous. “Yeah, I know you two hit it off straight away, but that says a lot really, doesn’t it?”    


“Er, what’s that supposed to mean?” Aaron shoots back. Robert prowls over to the bed, slipping his belt through the loops on his trousers as he goes. If the situation was any different, Aaron’d have a dry mouth, cock half-hard.  


The situation doesn’t need to be any different for that, though.

“I mean,” Robert says, pulling a t-shirt out of his bag. He heads into the bathroom to change, but his voice still echoes around the decent-sized room. “That you’re not exactly the pinnacle of maturity.”   


Aaron can’t help but laugh. He and Robert have been friends for years, and he knows that that wasn’t anything but a joke. “Arsehole,” He mutters, climbing under the covers. “See if I do you a favour again.”

The mattress dips as Robert lays down. They’re close enough that Aaron can feel the heat radiating off his skin, but he daren’t get any closer - daren’t touch the older man.

He already knows it’s going to be a long night.

“Somehow,” Robert says, words muffled by the pillow and the pull of sleep. “I don’t believe you.”  


.

Aaron wakes in early in the morning. It’s still dark, streetlights coming through the gaps in the curtains, but that’s not what wakes him up. What wakes him up is Robert plastered against his back, cock digging in as his palm slides under his t-shirt.

They both become aware at the same time; Aaron can feel Robert’s muscles stiffen, but he doesn’t move away. “Aaron?” He asks, voice gravelly from sleep. His hips push forward, a minute movement, like he can’t control it.

The younger man closes his eyes and swallows once, twice. He shifts back against Robert and blows out a deep breath, then opens his eyes. “Robert,” He says, voice thick and uneven.

There must have been something in the word, whatever Aaron was trying to say was heard, because in a split second Robert has him on his back, wrists pinned above his head. “God, Aaron,” He breathes, and then kisses Aaron, teeth catching his lips.

This is everything that Aaron’s dreamed of and more: Robert’s tongue brushing hot against his, fingertips bruising the thin skin on his wrist as his hips circle downwards. Robert’s mouth, the taste of red wine and toothpaste, the smell of his aftershave all around him.

He whimpers at the loss of the older man’s mouth, but then it’s on his neck, sucking bruises and licking over the red marks. “What is this?” Robert whispers, thumb brushing lightly along the path of his veins. 

“I want you,” Aaron says, barely a noise and more of a whine. Robert’s teeth drag over the sharp line of his collarbone, teasing, and his hips buck up. “I’ve always wanted you.”   


Robert laughs, short and bright and happy. It _should_ feel out of place given the situation, but it just feels right, and something sharp tugs in Aaron’s chest. “God, I’ve been waiting for you to say that ever since I met you,” Robert murmurs, lifting his head so he can hold Aaron’s gaze. “Because I want you too.” 


	42. high school reunion au

Aaron gets the letter on a Monday.

It’s nothing special - a bit like every other letter he used to get from school, except those were complaining about his grades or behaviour or something else bad - but his heart catches in his throat when he reads it.

Ten years, gone in a blink of an eye. 

He refuses to let his mind wander back to that certain person.

Adam calls him not even five minutes after he opens the letter, but his best friend won’t give up if he doesn’t answer, so he does with a roll of his eyes.

“Did you get it!?” Adam cries, sounding way too excited for nine am on a Monday morning.  


“Yes, Adam,” He sighs, rubbing a hand across his forehead. He definitely got it, and is definitely not going. The thought of dragging up the past again makes him feel sick.

He’s spent _years_ trying to ignore it all. 

“So, you’re going, yeah?” Adam says, and Aaron can picture him nodding vigorously at the other end of the line. It’s not like he doesn’t understand - he’s been there for most of it, an eyewitness.  


He’s been there for the way Robert Sugden somehow, after all this time, still manages to fuck up every relationship he’s ever had.

“I’m not going,” Aaron says firmly. He’s half considering hanging up and just ending the conversation there, but an image of Adam’s puppy dog eyes pops into his head and prevents him.  


“Aaron,” Adam says, slowly. There’s a hint of sympathy in his voice and Aaron hates it, but he’s going to hear whatever his best friend has to say. “If he’s not there, then - that’s great. But if he is, you can finally get some closure. It’s been ten years. You deserve that much.”   


Aaron closes his eyes, breathes out, runs the idea over in his head. “I’ll think about it,” He grants eventually, and barely hears Adam’s soft murmurs of support.

.

Obviously, he goes, because he’s never been able to turn Adam down in his life.

It’s not so bad; he has Vic on one side, quietly supportive (and apologetic, for the way her brother treated him). She keeps him grounded, does Vic - she knows when to pull him back from the edge, and she does it well.

On the other, there’s Adam. He’s a constant in Aaron’s life, has been since they were twelve and squaring up to each other on the football field. Aaron can’t even remember what that was about now, just that they’d immediately made up and were inseparable ever since. 

Plus he’s still hanging onto the hope that Robert won’t even show up. He’s flighty these days, according to Vic’s stories.

“See?” Adam says, spreading his arms wide. There’s a long table in the corner, stacked with crates of beer and wine (thank god), and some chairs set up around the place. But it’s the _gym_. It looks exactly the same as when they were twelve, sixteen. “It’s not so bad.”  


But there’s a flash of blonde hair in the corner, in a stiff expensive suit. He’s holding a bottle of beer, talking to Amy Smith from his year. Probably chatting her up, Aaron thinks bitterly. 

 _This_ is why he didn’t want to come. 

Robert turns his head and spots them almost immediately. His face barely changes but he does a double take at Aaron, eyes scanning over his body as his mouth turns downwards, but then he plasters on a fake smile and heads towards them.

And Aaron wants to turn and run.

Vic’s hand hooks around the crook of his elbow though, keeping him in place, while Adam’s hand comes up to press on his shoulder. No chance of running then.

“Robert!” Vic says, shock on her face. “You didn’t tell me you were coming!”   


The older man blinks lazily and his smile turns a little more strained. “I didn’t realise I had to run everything by you,” He says through gritted teeth. He looks as though he’s purposely avoiding Aaron, but the younger man guesses he doesn’t know him that well anymore. “Adam, Aaron. How are you doing?”

“Yeah,” Adam says, answering for both of them. There’s a hardness to his voice like barbed wire - _keep out!_ \- but Robert doesn’t seem to notice. “We’re good, thanks.”   


“Great,” Robert says, though it sounds more like _thank god that’s over with_. “See you around then.” He turns and walks away, and Aaron blows out a deep breath. 

He knew it was going to be bad - but not _that_ bad.

.

Aaron feels fingers curl around his elbow, heat radiating through his hoodie. He knows who it is straight away - would know the shape of that hand anywhere, any time (even after ten years).

“I’ve been waiting to talk to you,” Robert says softly. He’s standing stupidly close but Aaron doesn’t dare to look up, just shrugs off the older man’s grip and reaches for another beer. “Alone.”   


“You’ve got nothing to say,” Aaron says, but Robert makes a noise of protest and reaches for him again. He sidesteps him again, and glances over with a sense of boredom. “Alright. _I’ve_ got nothing to say.”  


“Aaron, please,” Robert says, and for a split second, he sounds exhausted. Aaron takes a risk and looks at him - the mask has slipped and he just looks _tired_ (maybe even heartbroken, not that Aaron would even go that far). “I just wanna clear things up.”   


“It’s a bit late, it’s been ten years,” Aaron shoots back, fingers tightening around the neck of the beer bottle. Robert’s face falls and he steps away, just once, and considers it for a second. “Fine. Outside.”   


Robert smiles slightly, a tiny bashful thing, but then he’s following Aaron out the gym doors and into the sunshine. “You look good,” He comments, watching the younger man lean against the wall.

“Say what you have to say,” Aaron says, keeping his voice devoid of any emotion. He glares at the floor and takes a sip of his beer, wondering how many he’ll need to drink before he forgets this ever happened.  


“I’m sorry,” Robert says after a beat too long. Aaron scoffs, and kicks his heel against the wall, digs his fingernails into his palm. “No, I mean it, Aaron. I’m _sorry_. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, but I was a stupid kid.”   


“What exactly is this supposed to do? It was ten years ago, Robert,” Aaron says, lip curling up in a sneer. “Like you said - we were kids. It doesn’t matter anymore.”   


The older man falters, hands falling to his sides as he gazes at the floor. His eyelashes look dark fanned out against his cheeks, skin painted in bands of purple and pink from the sunset. He looks different, but only a little - face more defined, a few more freckles. More confident, but then he was never short of that when they were kids.

“I miss you,” Robert whispers, catching Aaron’s middle and index fingers with his own. His thumb strokes up the soft skin of the younger man’s palm, up to the inside of his wrist, pad pressed over the fluttery pulse there. “We were so young but Aaron, I know you’re the love of my life. I always knew it- I just didn’t know what to do with it, and I don’t want to waste anymore time.”  


“Robert-” Aaron says, words catching in his throat. His breathing is shallow, feeling slightly panicked, but there’s nowhere for him to go. He can’t even bring himself to move. “I’m too old to play games now. Please don’t do this to me.”   


“I’m not doing anything,” Robert says, sincerity evident in his tone. He steps forward and ducks his head so he’s holding Aaron’s gaze, and curls his free hand around the ball of Aaron’s shoulder. “I mean it. It’s been ten years and I still can’t hold down a relationship. Do you know why? Because none of them are _you_.”  


Aaron turns his head to the side, cheek grazing the brick wall. He closes his eyes but he can still feel Robert’s breath against his neck, smell the washing powder he hasn’t changed in ten years. He doesn’t make a sound.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, I never have. And I’m sick- _sick_ of wasting all this time, thinking about what ifs, wondering if you still care,” Robert continues. “That’s why I’m here. I came to see you.”   


“Robert…” Aaron whispers, letting his head fall back. The words are pushing up his throat, begging to come out, but he swallows them down and bites his tongue.  


“Tell me if you feel the same,” Robert says, determined. His palm cups Aaron’s jaw and tilts his head, holds it there so he can’t look away. “Because if you don’t, I’ll leave you alone. But I need to know.”  


There’s only the harsh sound of their breathing for a minute, harsh and in tandem. Aaron weighs the options in his head, because he understands. Every single boyfriend he’s had has been done before it even started, because they weren’t _Robert_. Ten years later, and he still managed to sneak his way into Aaron’s thoughts.

“We take it slow,” Aaron says eventually. He looks Robert in the eye, stays there until the tension’s almost unbearable. “Because - you _hurt_ me, Robert. I still love you, but you hurt me, and I can’t just forget that. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was.”   


Robert grins, wide and easy, brilliantly bright, and it makes something in Aaron’s chest hurt. “I promise you,” He says, honest to the core. “I won’t hurt you again. I won’t mess up anymore chances. I promise.” 

His eyes track over Aaron’s face, looking for a sign or maybe even permission, but he must find what he’s looking for because he dips his head forward and kisses Aaron. It’s soft and short, sweet, and it’s so familiar it makes Aaron’s lungs constrict. Robert’s lips are just as soft and his mouth tastes the same, so the younger man breathes in a deep breath and fists his fingers into the sun-warmed material of Robert’s blazer.

“I love you,” Robert whispers when he pulls back, lips grazing against Aaron’s.  


He’d said it when they were fifteen, eighteen, and Aaron wasn’t entirely sure if he meant it. Now he’s saying it at twenty-eight, and Aaron’s never been more sure that he means it.


	43. "how many times do i have to tell you i'm sorry?"

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m sorry?” Aaron sighs, long-suffering. He runs a hand through his hair and stares at the tight line of Robert’s back, scrubbing plates like they’ve personally offended him.  


It’s Aaron who’s offended him.

By accident, of course.

“Doesn’t change it though, does it?” Robert counters, putting the plate in the drying rack with enough force that Aaron’s surprised it doesn’t chip.   


“It was a comic,” The younger man groans. He falls back against the sofa with a thump, almost matching the pounding in his head. “And I thought it was a magazine! You shouldn’t have left it lying about.”   


Robert continues his tirade, clearly ignoring Aaron. “You never even tidy up, and when you do, you throw out my comic! That was expensive, Aaron. It’s like you never even listen to me when I talk about these things.” 

“Well, I’ll buy you another one then,” Aaron says, rolling his eyes. He kicks his feet up against the coffee table and watches Robert’s shoulders tense, imaging his teeth digging into his lower lip.  


It’s predictable, really. 

“You can’t _get_ another one, Aaron!” He cries, finally turning round. He dries his hands so roughly on the tea towel that the skin flushes bright red, then throws it onto the counter with a huff. “It was _limited edition_.”  


“And there’s no way I can make it up to you?” Aaron says. He lowers his voice as Robert rounds the coffee table, glancing up at the older man from beneath his lashes. “No way at all?”   


Robert stops, mouth dropping open a little, and his eyes grow dark at the look on Aaron’s face. “Maybe,” He says, slightly breathless, fingers twitching by his sides as though he wants to reach out and touch. “You can always try.” 

Aaron’s fingers hook in the loops of Robert’s jeans, pulling him closer. He slides his palms across the older man’s crotch just for the noise he makes, then unbuckles his belt quickly, biting his lower lip just for look on Robert’s face. 

.

He does make it up to him. Right there in the living room, and again upstairs. Robert doesn’t throw a strop whenever the subject is brought up, just grumbles, and then smirks at the memory.

That, Aaron supposes, is what makes the mistake worth it.


	44. "please don't go."

Somewhere between the club and the kiss, Robert’s whole world clicks back into place. Pieces that he didn’t even know were missing came back, and he could finally breathe a little easier. 

He knows, when he turns around and sees Aaron following, that this is it. He knows when Aaron grabs his wrist how he really feels. He knows when Aaron pushes him against the wall and looks at him with tears streaming down his cheeks that he doesn’t need to wait anymore.

“I want you,” Aaron had said, voice thick with emotion and breaths struggling to come out. “I want you, and I can’t make anymore excuses. Don’t let me down.”  


And Robert was speechless for a minute, dead still until Aaron surged forward and kissed him with everything he had.

It all progressed fairly quickly from there: declarations of undying love, a few tears, back to the Mill, and some mindblowing sex. Robert barely had a minute to breathe.

In the light of day, it looks a little different.

Robert wakes slowly, mind fading into consciousness. He registers every little detail: Aaron plastered against his back, mouth pressed against his shoulder and arm over his stomach.

He’s been here before, but it’s been _so long_ that his insides squeeze tight and refuse to loosen. 

Is this even _real_?

He manages to untangle himself from Aaron without waking him, and sits on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Panic rises up his throat, black and tangible, because will Aaron even want this? Or is it just a spur of the moment thing?

It seems like it’s been too long to be real now.

“What ya doin’?” Aaron slurs, rolling onto his back. Robert hadn’t even realised he’d woken up, too busy with the thoughts in his head, but he turns his head and offers the younger man a small smile.  


“I should get back,” He says, trying to find the energy (and will) to find his clothes and get dressed. He doesn’t fancy sticking around for the inevitable rejection.   


“You don’t need to,” Aaron says, more alert this time. His arm reaches out and his fingers catch around Robert’s bare waist, not pulling or dragging, but warmth and solid - a constant. “Stay. I’ll make breakfast.” 

“Really,” Robert says, trying for dismissal but landing somewhere in between awkwardness and hurt. He tries to make his smile a little wider, but judging by the look on Aaron’s face, it falls flat. “I don’t want to take up anymore of your time.”  


“Robert,” Aaron says. His voice is thick and his eyes are shining with tears, cheeks red with emotion. _Fuck_ , Robert thinks. _You made him cry_ again. “Please don’t go.”  


Robert blinks once, then again, and blows out a deep breath. Honesty is the best policy, he supposes. “You don’t want me to?” He asks, voice small as his shoulders hunch up.

“ _No_ ,” Aaron says forcefully. He sits up and rests his hand on the bare skin of Robert’s shoulder, drops a kiss to the thick hair at the back of his head. “I meant everything I said last night, Robert: I love you.”  


Relief floods through Robert’s veins and he can feel all his muscles relaxing as he covers Aaron’s hand with his own. “I’m sorry,” He says, a confession. “I’m just- I’m so scared you’ll wake up and realise you don’t really want me.” 

“I can’t tell you how much I want you, Rob,” Aaron says, lips pressed to the older man’s shoulder. He’s taking deep, shaky breaths as he kneels on the bed, and really, this isn’t exactly how Robert thought he’d be spending their first morning back together. “I never stopped.”  


Robert turns around fully, and throws his arms around Aaron. He holds tight, like if he doesn’t he’ll drown, tucks his face into the younger man’s neck. “Me too,” He admits, and feels Aaron’s fingers tighten on his skin in response.


	45. "i want you to fight for me."

There are days when Aaron doesn’t think he can do this. Days when the whole world is against them, when arguments build and build and build until they’re screaming the house down. Sometimes, those days can feel like months.

Sometimes, they actually do turn into months.

It started with the house. First the boiler bust (and cost a fortune to fix), and then a leaky pipe meant the bathroom fell down around them - quite literally, when the floor went. 

Then it was Liv. She was getting in trouble at school again, even though she’d promised they were past it, but she’d got in a fight and sent someone to the hospital. Robert was furious, and Aaron was worried sick about her, but she still didn’t seem to care.

And a client pulled out of the scrapyard at the same time another one pulled out of Home James. It cost them thousands, really, and Robert was staying up all night trying to sort their finances for weeks. 

So, yeah. The whole world is against them.

It’s not like they don’t argue anyway, because they _do_ \- but these ones feel different. These rows have taken on a razor edge, sharp enough to need stitches afterwards. Everything they thought they worked past was back again: Aaron’s insecurities, Robert’s flirting. Robert’s love for money, Aaron’s jealousy. 

They were kidding themselves when they said they fixed it all, and that’s why Aaron’s leaving.

They’d been arguing again, and it was too much. Some things Robert said made Aaron feel sick; some things he’d said _himself_ made him feel sick. And he knows he can’t go on like this. 

“What are you doing?” Robert asks quietly, standing in the doorway. Aaron didn’t even realise he was there - he was too busy replaying the argument in his head. “Where are you going? Is it a business thing you forgot to tell me about?”   


“I’m leaving,” Aaron says, voice uneven. He curls his hands into fists and closes his eyes, focuses on breathing and ignoring the way Robert’s breath catches.   


“What?” Robert says. He sounds small, broken - he’s never sounded like this before, not even all the other times they’ve broken up. “I don’t understand.”

Aaron laughs, bitter and desperate and so, so unhappy. “You don’t _see_ it, do you? All of this, everything that’s happened this month has showed us one thing: we can’t handle it,” He says, balling a shirt up and shoving it down the corner of his duffel bag   


The room’s quiet for longer than it should be, nothing but the sound of Aaron openings drawers and Robert’s uneven breathing. “…Alright,” The older man says eventually. He takes a step back, as though he can’t even bring himself to be in the same room as Aaron. “I’ll give you some space.” 

“ _Alright_?” Aaron asks incredulously. He whips his head round and stares at Robert, at the sad line of his mouth and heavy-lidded eyes. “That’s all you can say - _alright_? Seriously?”  


“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Robert says. His voice sounds hollow and he looks exhausted, and all Aaron wants to do is wrap them both up in bed until the month is over so they can _sleep_. “I can’t stop you being happy.”   


“I want you to fight for me!” Aaron snaps, shoving the bag away from him. He takes two steps towards Robert, and then another one when the older man takes a step back, and catches his fingers in the lapels of Robert’s blazer. “I want you to tell me that everything in my head is _wrong_. I want you to tell me that we’re going to be okay, that we can get through this!”  


Robert smiles a little, soft and barely there, but Aaron sees it. “I can do that,” He whispers, thumb rubbing over Aaron’s knuckles. “I love you, and I always have, you know that. And that means that a few shitty things happening all at one time doesn’t mean we’re over. It means that we can work through it - _together_. And we’re going to come out stronger.” 

“Yeah?” Aaron says, blinking away the tears in his eyes. He can’t stop watching Robert’s face, the solid determination of it all.   


“Yeah,” Robert confirms, pressing a soft kiss onto Aaron’s hairline. “So get back in there and unpack your bag, because I’m not letting you go anywhere.”   


“I’m sorry,” He whispers, reaching up on his tiptoes and catching his husband’s mouth with his own, kissing him for all he’s worth. He lets his fingertips brush over the fabric of Robert’s jacket before he steps away. “I just get- I get scared, sometimes.” 

“I know,” Robert says softly. He watches Aaron go back to the bed and take the shirts out, like he’s scared that if he looks away, the younger man will start packing again. “But I’ve got you. I’ve got _us_.”  


The thing that Aaron learns is that one bad month doesn’t mean they’re not meant to be together. It means that they’re supposed to fight it and work as a team, to get through it. That realisation changes a lot of things.

That realisation makes him fight for Robert, just like Robert would fight for him. 


	46. "wait i didn't mean that. please come back."

There’s something about the expression fixed on Robert’s face. Something that makes Aaron know that this isn’t going to go down well.

And how right he is.

Vic’s teasing them, something about them being attached at the hip and - well, they are, but it’s early days still. Aaron doesn’t want Robert to freak out (again). He’s only just settled from the last time.

That’s the thing, really: they’ve been best friends for years, since they were kids, and Aaron’s been in love with Robert since he knew what love was. When he came out, Robert had just looked at him carefully for a few minutes, and said, “I’m bi,” and kissed him senseless.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Except it’s not. Because it had taken Robert another two years to come out - two years of secret meetings and hotel rooms and Aaron watching him flirt with women (to keep up appearances, he said) - and then another year to finally lock this fucking thing down.

It’s still shaky, by all means, but people _know_ now. That’s what Robert was afraid of, but it hasn’t blown up in his face. If Aaron wasn’t a better man, he would’ve said I told you so. 

“I mean,” Vic continues, entirely unaware of the tightness of Robert’s movements and the way Aaron tuned her out half an hour ago. “You’ve been together a while, yeah? Surely you’re gonna be moving in together soon?”  


Robert laughs, short and harsh, the way he does when he says something that’ll hurt. Aaron tenses in anticipation, bristles himself so the words don’t cut as deep. “Why? It’s not like we’re serious or anything,” The older man says like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

And Aaron’s world stops spinning. 

He doesn’t even finish his pint, just slides the glass away from him and smiles at Vic. It’s a little tight, a little watery, but she doesn’t say anything - just looks between the two of them with a dumbfounded look on her face.

“Thanks for a nice night, Vic,” He says, hating the way his voice shakes. He stands (and he would give her a hug or squeeze her shoulder, but he’s scared he might break), and turns towards the door. He doesn’t want Robert to see him cry. “But I’m done.”   


It feels like he’s underwater. The sound in the pub dims, even though it’s usually loud enough to not hear his own thoughts. If he concentrates, he’d probably hear Vic berating Robert, but he can’t bring himself to. 

.

He’s not quite sure where he goes, but it’s not far. He just walks for a while, through the village and then out of it, into the fields surrounding the cottages. He stands with his elbows resting on a fence, watching the sheep up at Butler’s, but he’s far enough back that he won’t be seen.

This was their first date, him and Robert. A picnic blanket spread on the grass on a hot day, some sandwiches that Robert made, and a bottle of champagne that Aaron had nicked from the pub, while the farm made typical farm noises around them.

The world had carried on, but it felt like Aaron was stuck in that moment for the entire time.

He wipes his hands roughly over his eyes, because it feels like the memory’s tainted now - because Robert doesn’t care about _this_. About them. And honestly, he just wants to forget it all.

“Aaron?” A voice calls, faint and in the distance. He knows who it is though, knows he can’t face it, so he turns and walks off quickly. “Aaron, wait up!”   


Robert’s jogging after him now, all long legs and surprising grace. It doesn’t take long for him to catch up - he was always better, athletically. He grabs Aaron’s wrist and pulls him to a stop, close enough that they’re almost touching.

“What do you want?” Aaron spits, wrenching his arm free of Robert’s grip. He takes a step back and then another, not wanting to share breath with the older man. He feels- he feels _disgusted_ , and he’s never felt like that before about Robert.   


“I’m sorry, alright?” Robert says, hand shoved into his pockets and eyes looking at the ground (at anywhere but Aaron). He has the decency to look ashamed, at least. “I just freaked out.”   


“I don’t want to hear it, Robert,” Aaron says, throwing his arms out in exasperation. He wanted it to come out stronger, but his voice wavers. “I spent _so long_ trying to make this easy for you. I didn’t push you to do anything, I gave you space when you needed it. And I _finally_ thought we sorted it out, but it’s nothing to you, is it? So just- just fuck off and leave me alone.”   


He spins on his heel and walks away, pace fast, determined to remove himself from the situation - from Robert. 

“Wait!” Robert yells, voice echoing across the empty farm. A cow moos in response, somewhere from a faraway field. “I didn’t _mean_ it like that! Come back!”   


Aaron pauses and turns back round, shocked at the way Robert could even say that. “How else can you mean it?” He hisses, shoving the older man away when he gets too close.

“I- I don’t know,” Robert admits, dropping his head. He glances back up, cheeks flushed from the cold and maybe a little bit of shame (though Aaron isn’t sure if he can actually feel emotions). “I’m just scared, alright? Because everyone’s got this image of me, and I feel like I don’t fit it!”   


“And I’m not a part of that image, am I?” Aaron says, dejection written all over his face.  


“I want you to be,” Robert says, honesty shining on his face and in his voice. He takes a step forward - Aaron doesn’t move back - and loops his fingers around the younger man’s wrist, loose enough that he could get out of it. “But that doesn’t mean I know how. I _love_ you, Aaron, and I can’t see my life without you in it. I am trying, you know?”   


Aaron brings his free hand up to his mouth and bites at the skin around his thumbnail. He _does_ know, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for him. “You need to stop saying shit like that,” He says eventually. There’s tears falling down his cheeks now, but he doesn’t care about Robert seeing it anymore. “Because if you carry on, I’m gonna think you really mean it.”

“Of course I don’t. Come here,” Robert sighs, drawing Aaron into a hug. He holds him tight, rests his cheek on the top of the younger man’s head and sways them side to side gently. “I’m so sorry, Aaron. I meant it, though - I love you.”   


“I love you too,” Aaron says, muffled by the material of Robert’s jacket. He still hears it though, tightens his fingers on the back of Aaron’s neck, pulls back and kisses him softly.   


One day - in the not so distant future - Robert learns to accept it. He realises that people seeing him love Aaron won’t set the world on fire, and he loves Aaron a little more for it. 

And Aaron is so happy to see that day.


	47. post-reunion fluff.

The first few times Robert wakes up and Aaron’s not next to him, his heart climbs up his throat and his hands start shaking. He _knows_ , logically, that Aaron’s not going to change his mind or leave him. He knows that this is forever, this time.

But that still doesn’t mean he’s not terrified.

It starts to calm down after a week or so, though. Waking up without Aaron just means warm bedsheets instead of warm skin, and the sound of the kitchen being almost destroyed. He knows now, that if he goes downstairs, he’ll be greeted with breakfast, a cuppa, and a kiss.

(And probably some godawful jokes from Gerry, but he can live with that).  


Sometimes, like today, he wakes up to the shower running. Usually Aaron uses the family bathroom when Robert’s still asleep, but it’s - it’s different this time, isn’t it? Neither of them can really bear to be that far away from each other. 

He rolls into the warm spot that Aaron’s left, face pressed into the pillow. Flashes of the night before are running through his mind - Aaron’s mouth, Aaron’s skin, Aaron’s gasps - and he can’t help but grin, because _this is mine again_. 

“What you doin’?” Aaron says, breaking Robert’s train of thought. He stops in front of the chest of drawers and drops the towel around his waist, and Robert only gets a split second of miles of his husband’s bare skin (and a dry mouth) before the younger man is pulling a pair of boxers over his hips.  


“What are _you_ doing?” Robert counters, rolling onto his back. He raises an eyebrow as Aaron turns around and towels his hair roughly, grinning as he pokes his tongue out at him. God, it feels- it feels _new_. Like a first love. “Are you nicking my pants again?”   


“ _Ours_ ,” Aaron says, pointedly looking at the jogging bottoms Robert had thrown on last night and then rolled up to his knees. He kneels on the bed, legs bracketing either sides of Robert’s thighs, and brushes their lips together in a simple kiss - _good morning_. “What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is also mine, right?”  


A laugh bubbles up Robert’s throat, disgustingly happy and sickly sweet even to his own ears. “Idiot,” He says fondly, fingertips catching on the waistband of Aaron’s (his) boxers. He pulls him down until they’re chest-to-chest, legs tangled and the younger man’s head resting under his chin. “Come on, I don’t wanna get up yet.”   


“That’s good,” Aaron says, fingertips sliding down the inside of Robert’s forearm. He lines their palms up and then tangles their fingers, like he’s settled, like he doesn’t want to move ever again. Robert wouldn’t say no to the idea. “Because I quite like where we are now.”   



	48. robert makes aaron give his speech again.

Liv is - well, she’s Liv, about the whole thing. She’s barely spoken a word to Aaron since the shitstorm of screaming that happened a few days after they got back together, but Aaron’s just biding his time because she has to come round eventually. 

It doesn’t change, not four days after, or seven, and not even today, a whole blissful ten days on.

She lets herself into the house and falters when she sees the two of them, half cuddling on the couch, then storms up stairs with some hissed swear words and a final bang of her bedroom door closing.

Robert just looks at Aaron, with careful eyes and the neutral straight line of his mouth, but Aaron shrugs, squeezing his hand where it’s resting on Robert’s knee.

“She’ll come round eventually,” He says, eyes back on the telly. He’d never thought he’d miss this - miss Robert forcing him to watch Grand Designs, the quiet companionship that settles around them - but he’s learnt a lot of things in the last seven months. “She’ll have to, because I’m not changing my mind.”   


“Don’t think you have a choice, now,” Robert says, lips quirking up into a smirk. It’s fond, though, and then it’s buried with a kiss in Aaron’s hair, a warm rush of love and forever. “You know, what with Paddy and all that.”   


Aaron considers this for a minute, eyes closed. “Yeah, that,” He says. He feels open, a hundred times more than he ever has, but he doesn’t mind Robert seeing the inside of his soul now. “That, and I love you.” 

“Think you might have mentioned it once or twice,” Robert teases, but his face is back to neutral again. He glances at Aaron with bright eyes and a little bit of disbelief still lingering there. “In fact, I heard there was a _list_.”   


“Don’t know where you heard that,” Aaron argues, but it’s half-hearted. He punches Robert’s arm gently, so soft that he barely grazes the jumper the older man’s wearing. “I’ve already said it all once.”   


“What was it?” Robert says, eyes turned towards the ceiling to pretend think about it. Aaron knows he doesn’t have to - Aaron knows that he’s memorised it all by heart. “’ _You found Liv_ ’, or maybe ‘ _you built us a home_ ’ - go on, you can say it again.”   


“I’m not saying it, Robert,” Aaron says. He squirms away from Robert’s hands at his sides, fingertips digging into the ticklish spot there, and crosses his arms resolutely.   


“‘ _You stepped up_ ’,” Robert continues, as though he hasn’t heard a word Aaron’s said, but then his face softens and his fingers find Aaron’s. “‘ _You loved me_ ’, or-”  


Aaron breathes out hard and stares at Robert head on, meeting his gaze with a shaky smile. “You loved me like nobody ever has before,” He says quietly. He meant it then and he means it now, the truth of it spreading fire through his veins.

“Yeah, think that was it,” Robert says, voice thick with tears. He swallows once, throat working from the movement, and then grins, hand coming up to cup Aaron’s cheek. “And I still love you like that.”   



	49. aaron wakes first the morning after the reunion and sees robert curled into him.

Aaron wakes up slowly, the way you do when you’re subconsciously content. He doesn’t need a minute to think about the warm body that’s wrapped around him, because he could never forget. He can smell Robert everywhere anyway: on the sheets, on the pillows, on his own skin. 

There’s an arm thrown over his waist and a head nestled on his shoulder, Robert’s leg tucked between his own. Aaron always wakes up first - Robert puts out heat like his very own radiator, and clings to him like a fucking octopus.

If Aaron’s being honest, it’s a really nice way to wake up. For a while, he thought he’d never get it again.

Robert must sense that he’s awake because he rolls over, untangling their limbs but back still pressed entirely against Aaron’s side. He doesn’t do personal space, Robert. He likes the feeling of their bare skin brushing. 

Still, it gives Aaron a second to pull himself upright, back against the headboard, and reach over to the glass of water he put on the bedside cabinet the night before. He doesn’t take his eyes off Robert, not even as he drinks, so he isn’t surprised when Robert’s rolling over again.

His arm comes across Aaron’s thighs, fingers tucking under the muscle as he rests his head on Aaron’s belly. It’s _really_ good, this, and Aaron feels tears pinpricking behind his eyes as he takes it all in. 

“What time is it?” Robert slurs, lips moving against Aaron’s skin. He hadn’t even realised the older man was awake, but he’s not embarrassed about being caught all emotional. No point now, at any rate. He cards his fingers through Robert’s hair just for something to do (and because he wants to - because he _can_ ), and smiles at the little contended exhale that rushes out of Robert’s nose.

“Still early,” He says quietly, voice hoarse from crying and sleep. Robert hums in response, and curls his arm a little tighter, as if he’s going back to sleep, but Aaron knows him better than that.

“Are you watching me sleep?” He asks, grin feeding into his tone. He sounds a little smug about it.

Aaron thinks about denying it, about making up an excuse, but they’re well past that point now - given everything he said last night. “Yeah,” He says instead, and drops his hand to Robert’s shoulder to squeeze it tightly.  


“Alright,” Robert says after a beat, but sleepiness is already threading through his voice again. Aaron can feel the flutter of his lashes against his stomach as his eyes close, the way his breaths even out between his parted lips. “That’s alright.” 


	50. robert, aaron, seb, liv and gerry share their first evening at the mill.

Liv’s thawed considerably since Aaron sat her down and told her. Granted, it was a little like trying to melt an iceberg with a hairdryer, but she’s just about accepted it. She doesn’t sneer when Robert walks into the room anymore, so that’s definitely something.

Aaron reaches over the back of the sofa to grab her wrist before she can walk off upstairs, school bag still hanging off one shoulder. “Oi, slow down,” He says, frowning and pulling her a little closer. She pulls a rude face at him, but he lets it go. He’s too happy to care. “Rob’s coming over for tea tonight. He’s bringing Seb.” 

“Alright,” She says carefully, but she bristles at the mention of the baby. She’s not quite certain around him - Aaron doesn’t know whether it’s because she doesn’t know how to handle babies or because it’s, well, _Seb_. “What we having?”   


“We can order a pizza, if you like,” He says, grinning at her reluctant acceptance. It’s a lot more than he thought she’d give all those weeks ago, and he’s willing to take what he can get.   


It’s then that Gerry chooses to clatter in through the door, more oil stains than material on his clothes. “Did you say we’re ordering pizza?” He says, voice too loud for the house as per. “Banging! I’ll go get cleaned up!” 

And with that, he’s off up the stairs, humming some ridiculously vulgar song that makes even Aaron blush. Liv makes to follow him, but Aaron tightens his fingers and tugs her back.

“Would you be alright if they stayed tonight?” He asks quietly. He wants it so much, to wake up with Robert and Seb. He’s starting to see that little boy as if he’s his own, and spending more time with him sounds like a dream. “I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable. You can say no.”  


Liv smiles, a little forced but she’s trying. “It’s fine,” She says, shrugging her wrist out of Aaron’s grip. She gets halfway up the stairs and then twists around, a cheeky grin on her face. “But only if you make us a fry up in the morning.” 

“Deal!” Aaron shouts after her, already pulling his phone out to text Robert.  


.

Seb’s tucked into the crook of Aaron’s arm, watching him contentedly. It’s- it’s nice, this. Really feels like Aaron’s making something of his life. He wants to give this kid a good childhood. 

He’d made the excuse of the baby not settling but really, he just wanted a cuddle. Robert had seen right through him but he didn’t argue - Aaron really meant it when he said he was going to show him. 

“Alright?” Aaron asks quietly, free hand resting on Robert’s knee. They’re watching Transformers (or more, it’s on in a low volume in the background. Gerry and Liv are the only ones really paying attention).   


Robert blinks and then turns to look at Aaron, a bright smile on his face when he takes in his boyfriend (husband?) and his son. “I’m good,” He confirms, hand covering Aaron’s. “I’ve had a good night.” 

“Me too,” Gerry pipes up - king of unwanted interruptions. He grins at the three of them from his place on the floor, a mischievous thing that makes Aaron anxious about what he’s going to say. “Watching you and Seb, Aaron, would _almost_ turn me if I weren’t so comfortable in my sexuality.”   


Liv saves Aaron from trying to find something to say by elbowing her mate in the ribs, hard enough for him to cry out, and then all of them tense. Seb doesn’t cry, though - just grins up at Aaron, a gummy little smile with the hint of a single tooth cutting through. 

“He loves you already,” Robert whispers, thumb stroking over the baby’s head as he glances up at Aaron from under his lashes. “He’s got good taste.”   


And then he leans forward enough that he can brush their lips together, only breaking apart when Liv starts fake gagging. It’s like old times, except with a couple of extra members in their dysfunctional little patchwork family.

“Rob,” Liv says after a short silence. She doesn’t look at him but hooks her arm around his knee, and settles a little more comfortably. “Will ya help me with my algebra tomorrow?”  


“…Yeah,” Robert says, but his voice is hoarse from the surprise. Aaron understands; he’s shocked too, but he stays quiet and lets the two of them work it out. “Yeah, of course.”  


“Cheers,” She says, unthreading her arm and finally glancing up at him. She’s smiling now, real and wide, and Robert’s thumb digs into Aaron’s knuckles.  


It’s not perfect. Aaron doesn’t know if it ever will be. They’ll fight and cry and scream, but they’ll make up. They’ll always come home to each other, because that’s what families _do_.

And Aaron can’t think of a better family than the one he’s got around him. 


	51. "i know this is probably a bad time, but will you marry me?"

“Your _son_ ,” Aaron says plainly, shoving a wailing Seb into Robert’s arms. “Your son is seriously trying to wind me up."  


They couldn’t get a babysitter - Diane was in Spain on holiday, Vic had to work. Aaron had offered to stay off with a smile, like he really didn’t mind. Robert’s finally beginning to accept that he doesn’t. Except right now he looks somewhere between furious and exhausted, on the verge of tears with a trembling chin.

“What’s happened?” Robert asks, curling his free arm around Aaron’s shoulders. He takes in the state of the house, Seb’s toys a tripping hazard and the contents of his changing bag strewn about the room.   


He’s just about started walking, and that means he’s an absolute nightmare. Terrible twos, come about ten months early.

“He just-” Aaron starts, wiping away tears roughly. He shuffles closer to Robert’s side and turns his face away from the baby, because even now he doesn’t want him to see him cry. “He just wouldn’t stop, Robert. It was one of those days.”  


They’ve had plenty of those days - still have them with Liv, really - and Robert knows exactly how it feels, knows how _Aaron_ feels. “I’m sorry,” He says quietly, dropping a kiss to the younger man’s forehead. “You should’ve called. I would have come home.” 

“You were working,” Aaron says, a little softer this time. The corners of his mouth are still downturned, but he’s relaxed a bit. The oven timer goes off and he sighs, pulling out of Robert’s embrace. “Somehow, in the middle of this madness, I managed to make lasagne.”  


Robert stills entirely, Seb squirming in his arms, but he can’t take his eyes off Aaron. “My favourite,” He manages to say, watching his boyfriend move about the kitchen. 

“I know how hard that client is,” Aaron calls over his shoulder, dishing the food out. Seb starts pushing at Robert’s chest so he puts him down, but he still doesn’t stop watching Aaron. It’s like he’s in a trance. “But you won him round. You were great today, Rob. I’m proud of you.”  


Something clicks into place, like a jigsaw puzzle. Robert understands in that minute - the rest of his life is in this house, amongst colouring pencils and unwashed plates and piles of laundry. He knows what he has to do.

“This is probably a bad time,” He says, taking several long strides until he has Aaron pressed against the counter, lips ghosting over the younger man’s. He slides his fingers under Aaron’s t-shirt and grips his waist, brushing their noses together. “But will you marry me?” 

Aaron laughs, bold and bright, and then grins, palms sliding up Robert’s biceps and settling on his shoulders. “Of course I’ll marry ya,” He says, eyes sparkling. He looks beautiful in this moment - in this messy house. “I love you.”

And that’s what makes it all worth it.


	52. “she’s beautiful. i hope she makes you happy.”

The thing between Robert and Aaron had been going on for a while. Six months, two weeks and four days, to be specific, but who’s really counting?

Aaron wishes he wasn’t. 

Somewhere in those thousands of minutes and endless seconds, he’d managed to do the unthinkable: he’d fallen in love with Robert Jacob Sugden, player of the game and class A fucking idiot.

It wasn’t meant to be anything like that. No strings, Aaron had slurred once, somewhere between pre-sex beers, sex, and post-sex beers. He’d been a little drunk and a little high on the feeling of Robert inside him, and it was early days then. No strings. It sounded perfect. 

But, like all good things, it came to an end. The end wasn’t that good, really. Aaron had seen Robert, in some random bar in Hotten, flirting with a random. He wasn’t jealous, _really_ , but he accused Robert of not being safe. 

Not being safe. It was ridiculous, a stupid cover for the blackness that coated as throat as soon as he saw the two of them, but Robert hadn’t noticed. He yelled something about Aaron stalking him, and, well. That was the end of that.

Because Aaron had to remove himself from the situation before he did something terrible: like punch Robert, or- or tell him he loved him.

And Aaron hasn’t seen him since. 

It’s better that way, he keeps telling himself. He just wishes his heart could get the memo.

.

He’s in the pub. Robert’s in the pub, Aaron’s in the pub. Him and him, thrown into the same room, not at all under innocent circumstances judging by the look on Victoria’s face.

(She’d found out about them a few months into the casual sex. _That_ was awkward.

She let herself into Robert’s flat with the spare key, and come face-to-face with the sight of her brother and her best friend on the sofa, in a- well, a compromising position, to say the least. 

When she’d gotten over the initial shock of it, she’d been nothing but supportive.)

“Aaron!” She yells now, voice carrying over the din of the busy pub. It’s a Friday night, it’s payday, and Aaron would’ve gone into town if meaningless sex didn’t make him feel empty. “You remember Robert, right?”   


As if he could forget, as if he’s stopped thinking about him since that night. “’Course,” he says with a forced smile, tilting his pint in greeting at Robert. Robert, who’s staring at him, lost for words (possibly for the first time in his life). “You alright, _mate_?”

But Robert keeps staring, eyes tracking every single detail of Aaron’s body like he wants to memorise it. He says nothing. Just stares.

“Robert!” A high-pitched voice says, shocking Robert out of his trance. Aaron hadn’t noticed her before, the beautiful girl with her arm threaded through Robert’s. He wishes he hadn’t noticed her at all. “Aren’t you going introduce me?”  


“I, uh- Yeah, of course, sorry,” Robert says, stumbling over his words. Aaron doesn’t think he’s ever heard him like that, but then, he guesses, he doesn’t really know him that well. “This is Aaron, Vic’s friend.”   


 _A bit more than that_ , Aaron wants to say, but he bites his tongue. He can’t quite help the frown that slips through the mask. 

“I’m Sofia, Robert’s girlfriend!” She supplies helpfully, offering out a hand for him to shake. He takes it. Robert hasn’t quite managed to pick his jaw from off the floor. “It’s lovely to meet you!”   


“Likewise,” Aaron says through gritted teeth, and then does the smart thing - he turns on his heel and disappears through a crowd of a hen party, and _does not_ hide.   


.

“I’ve been looking for you,” A voice says from over Aaron’s shoulder. Robert sounds soft, like his body is completely relaxed. The complete opposite of how the younger man feels.  


“Well, you found me,” he snaps back, and doesn’t bother looking over his shoulder. He takes another deep drag of his cigarette and feels the hairs on the back of his neck prick up when Robert takes another two steps closer. “Don’t know why you’re looking for me.”   


Robert lets out a slow exhale, standing close enough that Aaron can feel it hitting his skin. He hates the proximity, the way it makes him long for Robert’s touch.

Hates himself for getting in this position in the first place.

“I’m sorry,” Robert offers finally, swinging his legs over the bench and glancing up at Aaron, who’s sitting on the table. “I didn’t know you’d be here tonight. It’s a little awkward.”   


“Well, she’s beautiful,” Aaron says, a forced smile on his face. He digs his fingernails into the palm of his hand and stares Robert in the eye, makes sure he knows that he means it. “I hope she makes you happy.”   


There’s a look of disbelief on Robert’s face, highlighted by the hint of anger there too. “Aaron-” He starts, then takes a deep breath and tries again. This time, it comes out desperate. “What are you-?” 

But Aaron cuts him off by swinging his legs off the table and standing up, shoulders squared. “I don’t know what else you want me to say,” He hisses, glancing back at the pub behind him. An escape route. He turns his back, and leaves this sorry mess behind.

“I want you to tell me that I shouldn’t be with her!” Robert yells, the sound of his voice carrying across the quiet village. “If you- fuck, Aaron, if you tell me that you want to be with me, then I’ll end it. I don’t want her, not in the way I want you.”   


“That’s fucked up,” Aaron notes, but he feels dizzy with the feeling. Robert _wants_ him. Robert wants _to be_ with him. “You’re fucked up.”  


“Maybe,” Robert says, an agreement. He shifts from the bench and takes a few short steps so he’s standing behind Aaron, then grabs his wrist and spins him around. “But it’s the truth. I love you, I do, and I’ve felt it for months. But it’s so terrifying, Aaron, because I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and I don’t know-”   


There’s an earnest truth in his eyes that’s making him look nervous, a little boyish. And he is a nervous rambler - he always has been - so Aaron, naturally, takes it upon himself to stop it.

He leans forward and kisses Robert.

It feels like all of those old times but better, somehow. Like maybe they’re not holding parts of themselves back anymore, like maybe this is romantic more than sexual, like maybe Aaron can see the rest of his life in that kiss.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against Robert’s but keeps his eyes closed, and breathes out shakily. “I love you too,” he says, lips brushing against Robert’s as he speaks. “But this- this needs to be real. Me and you, and no one else, okay?”

He doesn’t want to think of the alternative.

“Okay,” Robert says easily, like he doesn’t need to think twice. But Aaron knows he’s never done monogamy, and at times, he’s wondered if he was even capable - but he’s doing it. For Aaron. Anything, for Aaron.   


He kisses him twice as hard. 


	53. "i know i shouldn't be here."

Aaron straightens his tie in the mirror with shaky hands. He can’t get it to sit right, no matter which way he twists it, and Chas is looking at him curiously, but he won’t let her sort it.

If she touches him, he might be sick. 

He’s terrified. Skin-tingling, bone shattering terrified, but not because he’s getting married. It’s not nerves or jitters or any of the shit that other people say. He’s terrified because he’s getting married, but he can’t stop thinking about someone else. 

It was stupid to have an affair, he knows that. It was stupid but Alex was suffocating and Robert was easy. Robert didn’t want to know his opinion on flowers or cake or playlists, Robert didn’t talk about spending the rest of their lives together.

Robert was a bottle of beer and a gentle laugh, a stolen kiss from across the sofa and the insistence of T. Rex being music geniuses. Robert was making out in the living room, with the curtains thrown open and Tanx playing in the background.

Somewhere along the way, it became Robert vs Alex, until it wasn’t - until it was RobertRobertRobert, and Alex, like a distant thought, added on the end.

He feels sick. What if everyone can see it on his skin?

Chas snaps him out of his thoughts and stands up, shooting a somewhat alarmed smile his way. “Right,” she says, clearing her throat. She claps a hand onto his shoulder, and it takes all of his energy not to shy away from her. “I’ll go see how the girls are getting on, but I’ll be back just before we need to go down.”

He nods, not trusting himself to talk, and she looks at him for a second longer. There’s tears shining in her eyes, the same as the ones burning up Aaron’s throat. But her’s are for different reasons - ones that are purer.

“I’m proud of you, you know,” she says, pausing through the half open door. _You shouldn’t be_ , he thinks. She’d be disgusted if she knew. “Don’t do anything stupid, love.”   


And with that she’s gone, the door clicking closed behind her. The sound rings out in the silent room but it’s not as loud as his own breaths, shaky and ragged now that he doesn’t need to hide. 

There’s a tear sliding down his face without permission, but he can barely think about it beyond panicking when there’s a knock on the door. “Come in!” He calls, voice hoarse as he wipes his face. “God, mum, did you forget the keycard again?” 

“Didn’t have one in the first place,” a voice that’s definitely not Chas says quietly, and Aaron spins on his heel to face the person.  


“Robert,” he breathes, hating how relieved his voice sounds. He hates the way all his muscles seem to relax at the sight of him, hates how fast his heart starts pounding. His body is a traitor.  


“I know I shouldn’t be here,” Robert says, closing the door behind him and staring down at the floor between them. A distance waiting to be crossed, and Aaron wishes he would. “But I just wanted to say…”  


He trails off, toe of his brown boots scuffing the carpet, almost embarrassedly. “What?” Aaron asks. He needs to know. Needs to know that this is real for him, too.

Robert finally looks up, a tiny, crooked smile on his face. He’s on another level of heartbroken, bags under his eyes and hair a mess, but Aaron knows that he doesn’t look much better.

“Your tie’s wonky,” he says, crossing the distance, finally. He stops in front of Aaron and brings his trembling fingers up to the material, straightening it with ease.   


But his palms flatten against Aaron’s chest, and he gazes up from beneath his eyelashes, shy and flirty and so fucking gorgeous all at the same time, and he must be able to feel Aaron’s heartbeat, he must because Aaron can feel it right down to the tips of his toes, he must-

“Don’t marry him,” Robert breathes quickly, quietly, but he takes a step back like he’s been burned and he’s trying to take the words back. “I mean- Aaron, I’m not a good person. I’m rude and I’m bitter and I’m selfish, but I love you, and I want to be better. For you.”  


Loving Aaron is the most selfish Robert’s ever been. Somehow, Aaron doesn’t despise him for it.

“What are you saying?” Aaron says, utter desperation and relief and guilt taking over his entire body. He wants to cry, to scream and shout, or to simply just fall into Robert’s arms and stay there forever.  


“Run away with me,” Robert says. It’s a question and a statement, but the delivery is so sincere that it knocks the breath right out of Aaron’s lungs. “Please- just me and you. Let’s get out of here.”   


He closes his eyes and counts to ten, but he already knows the answer. He knows, because he’s selfish too, because he could never turn this down. He takes his engagement ring off and leaves it on the side table next to the mirror, lays the boutonniere with it.

“Alright,” he says carefully, watches the blinding smile spread across Robert’s face. The older man tugs him in for a gentle kiss, and it should feel wrong with Aaron in his wedding suit, but it could _never_. “Yeah, alright.” 

Because loving Robert is the most selfish he’s ever been, and he’s sick of putting other people first.

This time, it’s for him. His future is finally his.


	54. "i'm scared."

Robert rented the cottage about 48 hours after Aaron jilted his fiancé. The sim card for his phone was somewhere on a motorway between Leeds and Scarborough, after he threw it out of the window. He found he could breathe a little easier for it.

They spent the first two nights in a hotel, one that was built into a cliffside and had ballrooms and jacuzzi baths and probably cost Robert an extortionate amount of money. Aaron asked, but Robert had just smiled secretively and told him that he deserved it.

Aaron knows he didn’t - he just left his soon-to-be-husband for his bit on the side, for fucks sake. But he knows that’s harsh, because Robert was always more than that, even from the first dark look they shared. 

But the point is, they’ve been staying in a rented cottage ever since - about two weeks, but Aaron’s trying not to think about time constraints - and it’s been different. Strange, yes, but in the best way.

He never thought he’d have this with Robert. He never let himself think about it.

“Penny for ‘em?” Robert says, swinging his legs over the edge of the decking to sit next to Aaron, slinging an arm around the younger man’s shoulder. He pulls him in tighter and presses a kiss to his temple, like he’d climb inside his head and cherish his thoughts, if he could.

“You probably don’t wanna know,” Aaron says, a little self-deprecating. He leans into Robert’s warmth regardless, and he’s not sure whether the shiver that creeps up his spine is from the chilly wind or the fact Robert’s _his_ now. 

“I always want to know what you’re thinking,” Robert whispers. His tone is deadly seriously, and Aaron knows that: all they’ve spoken about since they got here is how Aaron feels, Robert’s fears, and where to go now.

They sit in silence for a while, watching the waves lap against the sand. It’s peaceful because the silence is comfortable, because Robert’s breathing rhythmically, chest going in-out-in-out against Aaron’s side.

It was never like this with Alex, and he doesn’t know why he didn’t see it sooner. 

“I’m scared,” he says into the silence. He knows his voice can barely be heard over the sounds of the ocean, but Robert hears because he’s always listening. “I’m so scared, Rob.” 

“I know,” Robert says without missing a beat. His lips brush against Aaron’s hairline briefly, and it’s a small comfort but Aaron’s so grateful for it. “Baby, I know. But we can’t stay here forever.” 

“I wish we could,” Aaron sighs, nuzzling his nose at the base of Robert’s throat. He smells spicy and a little woody, like the dying embers of a campfire. Aaron finds his home there. 

Robert smiles, and Aaron can feel it in his hair. He can picture it too: bright eyes, crinkled up at the corners, the apple of his cheeks rounded. Something swells deep in his chest. “I’ll buy us this exact cottage and we can retire here, I promise,” he says, and Aaron knows it’s one he’s going to keep.

It makes it all a little easier.

“C’mon,” Aaron says, dragging himself to his feet. He holds out a hand for Robert to pull himself up, and doesn’t let go when he does. Instead, he pulls him closer, and looks out to the sea again. “We can’t afford to stay here another night.” 

They can and they both know it, but they need to get back to reality. Aaron disappeared without a word, other than a text to Chas telling her he’s fine. He didn’t want to worry her anymore than he already had.

“No matter what happens,” Aaron says suddenly, turning in Robert’s embrace to face him. “I love you, okay?” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” Robert jokes, a smirk on his face. He kisses Aaron’s forehead so tenderly that it makes his heart sigh, and he knows then that it wasn’t a joke.

Robert will protect him.

He’s not haunted by thoughts of Alex’s heartbroken face anymore.

Because Robert’s got him, and he’s never going to let go.


	55. "i tried my best not to feel anything for you. guess what? i failed."

Watching Aaron and Connor together is beyond painful. It makes something settle low in Robert’s gut, makes him feel sick to his stomach and want to cry and punch things and run away.

The worst part is that Aaron knows. Aaron knows about how he feels, he knows that Robert loves him, knows that it makes him want to die. 

But that’s the thing: there’s always something _worse_ than the worst part. Because this, this is ridiculous. It’d be funny if it didn’t hurt Robert so much. Absolutely fucking hysterical. Well, here goes: 

_Aaron feels the same._

Or at least, he did, the last (first and only) time they spoke about it. When Robert was so drunk he couldn’t see straight, when he could feel the great Jack Sugden’s figure looming over him, disappointed even in his death.

When Aaron put him to bed and stayed, propped up against the headboard with a concerned gaze on Robert’s back.

“I never meant for this to happen,” Robert had mumbled miserably, curled in on himself. He was trying to make himself as small as possible, but Aaron could see him.

He knows now that it’s because Aaron was always looking.

“You never meant for what?” Aaron asked softly. There was a gentle brush of fingertips against Robert’s shoulder, and at the time, Robert thought he was imagining it. 

He twisted and laid on his back, staring up at Aaron with that drunken honesty he tried to hard to fight back. “I never meant to fall for you,” he said, but Aaron didn’t seem surprised.

Instead, he smiled, and maybe there was a little bit of drunken honesty in him, too. “I never meant to fall for you, either,” he whispered, and Robert blacked out.

They hadn’t spoken about it again - not past Robert trying to bring it up, and Aaron silencing him with a firm, “I’m not leaving him.”

And that’s what makes it funny. If only it didn’t hurt so much. 

Robert sees the girl off with a dirty kiss. He feels content and disgusted all at the same time, but it doesn’t matter - it’s just a temporary filler, all these faceless people. Something to stop him thinking about some things. 

He closes the door, and knows he won’t see her again. He’s at peace with it.

“That’s the third one this week,” Aaron says, making Robert jump out of his skin. He’s standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest like he’s judging Robert.

Like he has the _right_ to judge Robert. 

“So?” Robert says dismissively, walking straight past Aaron without even looking at him. “It’s not your problem. You made that perfectly clear.” 

He hears Aaron breathe in sharply, like he’s punched him in the stomach, but he still doesn’t seem to get the fucking hint. He follows Robert into his bedroom and stands in the doorway. He’s shorter than Robert, but right now he looks huge, filling up the space with his anger.

Anger. What the hell for? 

“Why are you doing this?” Aaron asks, and his voice is softer now, like he’s begging. It’s _still_ nothing to do with him. “Is it because-” 

“Because what!?” Robert yells, curling his hands into fists. His fingernails dig into his palms painfully, but it keeps him grounded. Keeps his head clear. “Because I love you and you felt the same, and then decided to fucking ignore it? Or because I can’t have you? Because you won’t _let_ me have you!?”

Aaron takes a step closer and then another, until his pointed finger is pressing into Robert’s chest. Pain. That’s all it is. Nothing Robert isn’t used to. “You have _no idea_ how this feels, Robert!” He yells right back, face red and eyes shining with tears. 

“Oh, this’ll be good,” Robert laughs, but it’s numb. He wants to take a step back, away from Aaron and all of this, but he won’t. He stands his ground. “Go on, then.” 

“I tried my best not to feel anything for you,” Aaron says, deflating. He’s the one who takes a step back and Robert feels victorious. It’s still hollow. “Guess what? I failed.” 

Robert takes a deep breath and turns his head. He can’t look at Aaron, can’t look at himself. He’s terrified about what he might see, so he sits on the edge of his bed and puts his head in his hands.

“I love you,” Aaron says softly, kneeling in front of the older man. His palms cover Robert’s knees, warmth seeping through the denim. “I love you, Robert, but it’s so terrifying.” 

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Robert says, laughing again. It’s not numb anymore - it’s desperate, and he roughly wipes away the tears that have fallen onto his cheeks. “Watching you and Connor, knowing that you felt _something_ for me, knowing that you weren’t going to do anything about it.”

“Watching you and all those random people,” Aaron counters, and yeah, Robert can see his point. He takes his hands away from his face, but still looks at a spot on the floor. “And being so jealous that it makes me feel sick. But what can I say? I’m in a relationship with your best friend.” 

“If you told me,” Robert says, voice tiny. He feels small all over, hunched in on himself, but Aaron sees because he’s looking. “If you’d have just _told_ me-”

Aaron sighs. His hand smooths up Robert’s thigh and then further, until he’s cupping his bicep, and pulling him closer, until their foreheads are touching. “I’m telling you now,” he whispers. Their lips are inches apart, and Robert could close the gap, he could. “Because I’m ready now.” 

Robert finally meets his gaze, and sees nothing but earnest honesty, and a little bit of wild desperation. It’s all he needs, so he closes the gap. 

The kiss is simple, a brush of skin and nothing more, but Robert _feels_ it. He feels it right down to his toes, feels Aaron’s fingers tightening around his arm, and he swallows Aaron’s tiny gasp. 

“Once we’ve sorted this all out,” Aaron says calmly. He sneaks another kiss to Robert’s cheek and lets it linger. “Once we’ve sorted all this out, I’m yours.”

It’s the only thing Robert’s ever wanted.


	56. "how long do we have?"

Aaron sighs as Robert’s mouth travels a wet path down his throat, twisting his fingers in blond hair. It’s nice, this. They haven’t done it in a while, because real life got in the way. 

“How long have we got?” He whispers. He doesn’t want to ruin this, but it’s never a good idea to forget about the others.

Robert moves back up, kisses Aaron once and then grins wickedly. “Forever,” he says, voice gravelly. He sucks a bruise just below Aaron’s jaw, and _fuck_ , that’s going to leave a mark.

“Seriously,” Aaron says, pulling Robert away by his hair to look him in the eye. “How long have we got?” 

“As long as you want,” Robert says, thumb tracing along Aaron’s cheek. He does that a lot, Aaron’s noticed. Like he’s trying to map the younger man’s face and remember it forever. “We broke up.”

He goes back to kissing down Aaron’s neck, fingers twisted in his t-shirt as he tries to pull it up. Like he’s not just changed everything with three little words. “Robert,” Aaron says, voice strained as he pushes at Robert’s shoulders. “What do you mean?” 

Robert pulls away completely and lays on his side of the bed. “What else can I mean?” He says, watching Aaron as he pulls himself into a cross-legged position. “I broke up with her.” 

“Why didn’t you _tell me_?” Aaron says with a huff, picking at the duvet beneath him. He feels like it’s something he should know.

“I tried,” Robert says. He doesn’t look upset, just amused at Aaron’s confusion. He reaches over and takes the younger man’s hand. “But you jumped me as soon as I walked in the door.” 

Aaron hesitates, mind racing with thoughts of what happens next. 

(What if we’re over, too? What if he doesn’t want me now he can have me?) 

“What next?” He manages to say eventually, although his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth. He’s a little terrified to know the answer. “What do we do now?”

“Well,” Robert says, smiling sweetly. He drops a soft kiss to Aaron’s knuckles. “I was thinking I could take you out for dinner. You know, a proper date. How does that sound?” 

Aaron laughs, the blackness of anxiety on his insides fading away as quick as it came. He doesn’t know why he was worried. “That sounds great,” he admits, and leans down to kiss Robert.


	57. "you're the one thing keeping me sane right now."

Robert’s been away on business. Somewhere down south, Slough, Aaron thinks. Not that he can remember past the fuzziness clouding his head. It’s been days, more than four but less than seven, and he fucking misses him. 

Because Seb is teething, grizzly at best and screaming his head off at worst. He hasn’t slept for more than two hours at a time, and by extension, neither has Aaron.

He loves the kid more than he could have ever thought he would, but there’s constant tears in his eyes and he’s not past the point of begging Robert to come back.

His prayers have been answered, clearly, when the door clatters open and the sound of Robert’s breathing fills the room. “Honey, I’m home,” he says quietly, as if he doesn’t want to wake the baby. On cue, Seb wails, crackly through the monitor.

“You’re gonna have to talk a little louder if you want me to hear you,” Aaron says, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “He’s been like this all weekend, Robert. He’s teething and nothing will calm him down.” 

Robert sweeps forward and presses a kiss to Aaron’s forehead, stroking his thumb down his cheek. “It’s alright,” he says. His voice is soft, calming, and Aaron lets it wash over him like waves. “I’ve got it from here.” 

He disappears up the stairs like a flash, and Aaron lets out the breath he’s been holding all weekend, sagging back against the sofa. He wants to sleep so bad but he missed Robert, missed him so much that his entire body is aching to touch him.

Instead, he tips his face up towards the ceiling and listens to his husband’s soothing noises from the baby monitor, listens to Seb’s crying fade into tiny whimpers until it’s pure silence.

“He’s asleep,” Robert says, standing on the bottom step of the stairs with a small smile on his face. He looks knackered too, like the nights away have taken toll on him. “I’m sorry I left you with him.”

Aaron can’t resist pushing his lower lip out, and gestures for Robert to come sit with him. “You know I love spending time with him,” he says with a sigh, melting into Robert’s embrace when he slings an arm over his shoulder. “I just think teething is a two man job.” 

“I promise I’ll be here next time,” Robert says with a soft laugh, fingertips grazing the side of Aaron’s neck. He tilts the younger man’s face towards him and kisses him on the lips, finally, gently, like coming home. 

“Good, because you’re the only thing keeping me sane,” Aaron says. He drops his head to Robert’s shoulder, his eyelids feeling heavier by the second. He’s half asleep when he whispers, “I love you.”

He thinks Robert says it back, but he’s not entirely sure. Either way, it’s the best sleep he’s had for days.


	58. “can you just kiss me? one last time? that’s all i ask."

They haven’t been together that long. Just over two months, actually, but it feels like so much longer. It had only been weeks before Robert had taken up a permanent space in Aaron’s bed, at his kitchen table in the morning – in his heart.

Two months, and it all boils down to a shitty airport goodbye. What a fucking cliche. 

“Please don’t cry,” Robert says, the corners of his mouth downturned miserably. He reaches out and thumbs the tears away from Aaron’s cheek, the touch staying there for longer than necessary.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Aaron chokes out, vision going blurry through a fresh wave of tears. He wipes at his nose roughly with the back of his hand, staring at the patterned floor until his eyes swim. “I didn’t want to make this any harder.” 

Robert’s arms come around his shoulders then, pulling him in until his head is resting on the older man’s chest. They must look ridiculous to the hundreds of people milling around them, but Aaron can’t bring himself to care. 

“This is already the hardest thing,” Robert whispers, lips brushing the shell of Aaron’s ear. His voice is thick with the tears he won’t let himself cry, and for once, Aaron’s glad that he’s not alone in this, that Robert cares as much as he does. 

“Would you just-” He starts, then stops and pulls away from the embrace. He looks at Robert’s face like it’s the last time, and smiles sadly. “Can you just kiss me? One last time? That’s all I want.” 

“Aaron,” Robert says, sounding halfway to offended. “This won’t be the last time. I can promise you that.”

“Then just kiss me,” Aaron says, closing his eyes. He can feel Robert leaning into his space, the warmth of him getting closer. Can smell his aftershave, spicy and smoky. Can feel his lips on Aaron’s, his tongue, his hands on his face. 

Robert pulls back with a sigh, fingertips shaking where they’re resting against Aaron’s skin. “This isn’t goodbye,” he says, with all the confidence of a broken man. “It’s just see you later.” 

But the see you later becomes sooner than Aaron wants it to. Robert’s walking away from him, each step across the polished floor taking him further and further away, while Aaron watches. He watches until Robert’s gone, turned around a corner and out of sight, before he turns himself and walks away.

That’s that, then. Time to go home. 

He doesn’t get more than twenty feet away before there’s a hand on his shoulder. He’s about to shrug them off, to swear and then ignore them and just get in his car and drive, but something makes him turn.

He turns.

And there’s Robert.

With bright pink cheeks and wet eyes, out of breath like he’s been running, hair a mess.

“I can’t do it,” he rushes out, dropping his bags and framing Aaron’s face with his hands. He tips forwards until their foreheads are resting together and their lips are inches apart. “I can’t leave you, Aaron, I can’t.” 

“What- What are you saying?” Aaron asks, because he can’t believe what he’s hearing. Is Robert really going to risk this incredible job for Aaron? For their relationship?

“I’m saying that I’m not going, Aaron,” Robert says. “Because what we have is amazing, and I can’t- I can’t lose that. I’ll find another job, a better one will come along. But I’ll never find another you.” 

“You’re mad,” Aaron laughs through his tears, but Robert just grins. Just grins at him, keeps smiling, because he’s clearly made his mind up. “But I love you.”

“I love you too,” Robert whispers, and kisses him, better than the ones before, but not as good as all the ones that come after.

The ones that are coming because he’s staying, for Aaron, with Aaron.


	59. "who did this to you?"

Aaron came out when he was seventeen. It was the hardest thing he’s ever done, if he’s being honest, but there was one thing that surprised him: Robert, by his side through it all.

He’d been there since the very beginning, supporting him and helping him, and that hadn’t changed. Not when Aaron had told him about Gordon, not when he’d told him he was gay. None of it.

Aaron really couldn’t fault him, and neither could anyone else.

The doorbell goes at dead on six, the time it always does. Robert, obviously, straight after his tea, so they can play Fifa and talk and piss about. Same time every day, without fail. Aaron’s favourite time, if he’s being honest.

He opens the door like he usually does, already armed with a snarky, playful comment, but he bites it back when he sees the state of Robert’s face. He’s black and blue, bleeding from the nose with a split lip, but he still smiles at Aaron like normal.

“What- Are you okay?” Aaron asks, voice shaking. He ushers the older boy inside, fingers wrapped around his bicep because he’s terrified of him collapsing. “What happened?” 

“I’m alright,” Robert says, but the usual confidence that shines out of his pores is dimmed. He winces when Aaron helps him onto the sofa, and breathes out deeply. “It’s nothing.” 

“Nothing?” Aaron snaps, thumb brushing across the cut on Robert’s lip. He’s gentle, but he still flinches away, still hisses in pain. “Robert, look at the state of you!” 

He heads up the stairs to the bathroom and dampens a flannel under the tap, but the entire time, he’s thinking about Robert. Different scenarios, ones where Jack saw them kissing, however secretive they were. Ones where it wasn’t about them at all, where Robert had been too gobby to the wrong person. 

He goes back down to find Robert with his face tipped up to the ceiling, eyes closed and breathing shaky. He swipes a hand across his forehead so he doesn’t startle him, and rounds the sofa, sitting on the edge.

“Please tell me what happened,” he says quietly, wiping the blood away from Robert’s nose. He doesn’t wince this time, just looks at Aaron carefully. “Who did this to you?”

Robert sighs, because he knows he’s lost the battle. “There were some kids from year twelve,” he says, but his voice is deep and angry still. “Talking shit about you- about your sexuality.” 

“Robert,” Aaron hisses, having the grace to feel shame when he presses too hard on a bruise and Robert whimpers. “So you got yourself into a fight for me?” 

“I’ll always stick up for you, Aaron,” Robert says, wrapping his fingers around Aaron’s wrist to still his movements. His voice is gravely serious, mouth a straight line, and he holds the younger boy’s gaze. “I mean it.” 

Aaron sighs, dropping his head and tangling his fingers with Robert’s. “Just don’t do it again,” he says, instead of anything else. 

“I promise,” Robert says. His free hand tips Aaron’s face up and he presses a soft kiss to his lips. It tastes metallic, like blood, and Robert breathes out a little heavier from the pain, and Aaron isn’t sure where to put his hands, but.

But, it’s perfect.


	60. "don't put me in this position."

“It’s obvious,” Syd says. His mouth is curled into a sneer, eyes hardened and glinting. Like he’s enjoying it. Like this is exactly where he’s meant to be. “You choose. It’s either the husband, or the baby.”

He moves his head to gesture between Seb and Aaron, and Robert looks between them: Aaron, who’s tied to a chair. There’s blood matting his hair and tape over his mouth, and he looks terrified but determined, so determined, like he knows what he’s doing.

Robert wishes he knew, too.

Seb’s in his car seat, a couple of metres away from Aaron’s chair. He looks fine, is fine, because Robert knows - hopes - that even Syd wouldn’t be sick enough to hurt a baby. 

“How about I give you a minute to decide, hm?” Syd says, clapping his hands together gleefully. He doesn’t go far, just into the corner of the barn that’s covered by shadows, back turned to them. He’s on his phone, the lit screen visible.

“Aaron,” Robert rushes out. He falls to his knees in front of the younger man, fumbling to peel the duct tape off his mouth as gently as possible. “God, Aaron, are you okay?” 

“Choose Seb,” Aaron whispers, eyes darting over to Syd’s back to make sure he’s not looking. He leans closer to Robert, until they’re almost touching, until Robert can feel the fear rolling off him in waves. “You need to choose Seb.” 

Robert leans back against his heels. He’s torn because he’s selfish, because he wants both of them and he won’t leave without getting what he wants. “I can’t just- just let him kill you, Aaron,” he says, disbelief making his tone flat. “Don’t put me in this position.”

“He won’t kill me, Rob,” Aaron says. There’s sympathy in his eyes, like if he’d reach out and touch if he could, but he’s shaking too. His arms, crossed around the back of the chair, are trembling. “I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”

There’s not a world in which Robert wouldn’t trust Aaron, so he closes his eyes and breathes out, tries to calm his racing heart. “Alright,” he says, but his voice is thick and uneven, and he presses a kiss to his husband’s forehead and then another to his lips. “I love you.”

Aaron smiles, mouth curled up to show his teeth, and Robert holds it in his heart, cherishes it, remembers it, because he doesn’t know if there’ll be another. “I love you too,” Aaron promises.

“Alright,” Robert announces loudly, standing as straight as he can. He watches Syd turn and stride back over, ridiculously confident for someone that’s about to go up against Aaron Dingle. “My son. Give me my son.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Syd says with a smirk, crouching down in front of Seb’s car seat and unbuckling the straps. He hands the baby over without much of a fuss, and Robert can’t help the relief that floods through him. “Knew hubby didn’t mean that much when it came down to it.” 

Robert wants to snap back, to swear and scream and punch Syd, but he looks at Aaron who’s shaking his head. He’s quiet, way too quiet than he is normally, but he pulls his arms from round the back of the chair and stretches his legs out.

He’s free. 

The dizziness that comes over Robert is almost enough to have him stumbling, but he manages to keep still. “Go,” Aaron mouths silently, nodding towards the open door. 

So he does. He clutches Seb as tightly as he can and turns his back, despite the way his nerves are screaming at him for doing so. He hears a crash, a pained groan, and some wet coughing. 

But it’s time to end this once and for all.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket, and dials the number quickly, despite his shaky hands. “Cain?” He asks, voice hoarse, but he clears his throat. “How fast can you get to that barn on the bypass?”


	61. "hang on. you're gonna be okay. keep breathing."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2 to the one before.

Robert would like to say Cain helps Aaron walk out of the barn, but it’s more of a drag. He’s even more bloodier, streaks down the side of his face and in between his teeth, smearing on the back of his hand when he coughs. 

“Aaron,” Robert breathes, pushing Seb into Cain’s arms. He drops to his knees and curls his fingers in Aaron’s hair, lifting his head so he can see the damage. There’s blood smeared on the inside of his wrist, but he doesn’t care. He can’t see anything past Aaron, anyway. “What happened? Are you okay?” 

The younger man smiles, but it’s slight, just a quirk of the corners of his mouth. His eyes are rolling back into his head, too, lids dropped, and it takes him a minute to answer. “I’m good,” he wheezes eventually, but the pain makes him groan. 

“Don’t lie to me,” Robert snaps, cradling Aaron’s head when he slumps further to the floor. It’s too much, too close, Aaron’s barely recognisable from the blood, he can’t- “Cain, call an ambulance!” 

“Rob. Rob, listen to me,” Aaron whispers. It sounds like the words take his breath away, but he fights to keep his eyes open and weakly clutches Robert’s forearm. “You’ll be okay, I promise.” 

Denial spits onto Robert’s tongue straight away, but he swallows it down. “What are you on about?” He asks, trying to keep his voice as soft as possible. “I’m not hurt.” 

“No, but I am,” Aaron says. This is the most lucid he’s been since Cain dragged him out, eyes clearing and tone even. He sounds resigned but calm. “And you’ll be fine without me.” 

His breathing grows laboured, shallow inhales that sound wet when they hit his lungs. It’s not a good sign, not with the way the flush drains from his cheeks and his lips lose colour.

“Aaron!” Robert yells. He doesn’t know whether to cry or shake his husband away, doesn’t know what to do, but then Aaron’s eyes open again. “God, don’t do that to me!” 

“I love you, Rob,” Aaron slurs. His hand traces up the older man’s arm and then falls back to his side, just as his eyes slide shut. “Don’t forget that, yeah?” 

It’s silent: deathly so. Aaron’s barely breathing, just tiny, quick movements of his chest, the slight push of air past his pale lips. It’s. 

It feels like the end.

“Aaron, come on,” he says desperately, fingertips touching Aaron’s face, wherever he can reach. His skin is cold and clammy to the touch, so Robert wrestles his jacket from his shoulders and tucks it around his husband’s frame. “Keep breathing, you’re gonna be okay, come on!” 

He can hear distant noises behind him, maybe a siren or two, the murmur of voices. And then it’s a hand, on his shoulder, pulling him- pulling him away? Away from Aaron? He cries out and wrenches free.

He’s not leaving. 

“Robert,” A voice says. Cain, but not Cain, because it’s too kind to be him. Too soft, too understanding. Robert clings to it, anyway. “Come away, yeah? You need to let the paramedics do their job.” 

And that’s it, isn’t it? He’d rather have Aaron and be away than let him die because he wouldn’t move. So he stumbles to his feet, steadied by Cain, and watches the blur of yellow jackets.

Aaron can’t die. He _can’t_.


	62. “did it take you long to move on from me?”

There’s something a little bittersweet about this. They’ve been split up for five years, yes, but there’s one place they both end up on a certain day each year. The cricket pavilion, on their wedding anniversary.

Maybe it’s a little masochistic, picking open the scars again, but Robert always comes armed with a bottle of something strong and a kind smile. Aaron just wants to feel that rush again, even if it is short lived and coming from the wrong place. 

Besides, this year’s different from the last four. 

Aaron broke up with Ethan three months ago. It wasn’t that deep, really, but they’d been together a while. They just weren’t working anymore - maybe their personalities weren’t compatible, maybe they grew tired of each other. Either way, it wasn’t a great loss. Aaron just can’t understand why he can’t make a relationship work past the eleven month mark.

And Robert had split up with Lukas a month after that. He’d been cheated on, Robert, and it sent him spiralling. He was devastated, and Aaron had comforted him through it. People told him he should’ve felt vindicated, but he just felt sad for his friend. 

So this year they’re alone but together. If Aaron’s being honest with himself, he wishes it had been like this all the other years, too.

“It’s never felt the same, has it?” Robert asks, not quite meeting Aaron’s eyes. He’s sat against the wooden wall, half slumped with his long legs stretched out in front of him. It’s a position that makes Aaron’s throat heat up when he looks for too long. “Never the same as you and me.”

“No,” Aaron laughs, bitter and drenched in sadness. He knows it hasn’t because he’s always searching for it, always chasing that feeling. He comes up short every time.

Robert hesitates, like the words on the tip of his tongue are tripping over himself. “Do you want it?” He asks slowly, finally. “Do you want it to feel like that with someone else?”

“No,” Aaron repeats. He doesn’t. He’s thought about it a lot, decided that even if he did feel it, it’d be empty, hollow in the middle. It’s not right, that. It’s reserved for Robert, and he’s not prepared to give it up. “Did it take you long to get over me?” 

It’s Robert who laughs this time, sharp and stabbing, right into Aaron’s heart. “You say that like I got over you at all,” he says, mouth downturned at the corners. Like he’s not happy about it, like he wishes he could.

Aaron turns, and kneels so he’s facing his ex-husband, a fresh kind of determination pumping through his veins. “Is it just me,” he muses, tilting Robert’s face towards him by the chin. “Have I been imagining this?”

“Imagining what?” Robert asks, but it’s too innocent to be believable. Even if it wasn’t, Aaron knows him too well.

“Everything,” Aaron says, breathing out slowly. He keeps a grip of Robert’s chin, keeps him looking, keeps him still. “Everything that’s happened between us in the last few weeks. The looks, the moments, the sparks, Robert. Tell me I’m not imagining it.”

Robert smiles, just slightly, a sweet little thing that makes Aaron’s stomach hurt. “You’re not imagining it,” he confirms, and Aaron takes the hint to lean in and press a soft kiss to the older man’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Aaron says, and that’s what makes it a day to remember.


	63. "would you please hold still?"

The walls are white, the ceiling is white, the sheets are white – everything’s whitewhitewhite. It burns Robert’s eyes, makes his head pound and the room spin, and he can’t breathe because it’s too much, it’s all too much, he needs-

“Aaron,” he breathes on a gasp. His lungs are aching, needing oxygen, but he doesn’t care. He needs Aaron, and he hasn’t got him because Lachlan does, Lachlan will kill him- “I need to get him! Aaron!”

“Mr. Sugden,” the nurse says. She sounds nothing but kind, soft voice and soft hands on his shoulders, and Robert doesn’t understand. Can’t hear over the sound of his own heart beating in his ears, the thoughts in his head. “Would you please hold still?”

Robert tries to fight against her grip, but it’s not just her hands, there’s another two, four. “Please!” He cries, fingers tugging at his own hair to try and drown everything out. He squeezes his eyes shut, but all he can see behind his lids is Aaron.

Aaron, with a gun against his head and Lachlan behind the trigger, with Lachlan’s manic grin and his crazy eyes and the smell of copper and Aaron’s sobs and Aaron and Lachlan and Aaron and Aaron and Aaron-

“Robert!” A familiar voice calls, familiar hands on his shoulders. They keep him from moving, but it doesn’t feel like the way the nurse’s touch did. “Robert, listen to me - I’m right here, okay? I’ve got you.“ 

Aaron, in this room, in front of him, in the flesh. He blinks once, then again, just to make sure it’s real, and then reaches out to touch the younger man’s cheek.   
"Aaron?” He asks, confusion making his brain rattle. He can still see it behind his eyelids, Lachlan’s sickening smile and the blood dried into Aaron’s beard. He’s not sure which one is reality. “But you’re- Lachlan has you?" 

"No, no,” Aaron whispers, dropping to a crouch in front of the hospital bed. He cups a hand around the back of Robert’s head and tilts his head forward, close enough that Robert’s vision swims. “It’s the carbon monoxide, Rob." 

The words should make sense, but it sets Robert’s heart racing and he pulls back. "What?” He asks again, hoping for a little bit of truth this time. 

“Lachlan tampered with the oven, Robert,” Aaron explains calmly. The look in his eyes is clear honesty, truthful. “You inhaled the gas, and you ended up with carbon monoxide poisoning. That’s why you’re confused, but I promise you this is real. I swear. I wouldn’t lie to you, would I?" 

No, Robert thinks, Aaron wouldn’t. He hasn’t, he wouldn’t, Robert can trust him, so he relaxes back against the bed and closes his eyes. 

"Don’t leave me,” he mumbles, but he’s too exhausted to check. It doesn’t matter, though: Aaron’s body heat is still close, tangible and real. 

Aaron responds by linking their fingers together, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of Robert’s hand. “I won’t,” he promises, and then falls silent as the nurse bustles around them. 

It all seems a little less terrifying, as long as Aaron’s by his side.


	64. "is that lingerie?"

Robert had been out last night, Vanessa dragging him away from the Mill at dead on seven o'clock. They hadn’t gone far, though - just back to Vanessa’s for an Ann Summers party, with the rest of the gaggle of girls Robert didn’t mind having as friends. Aaron’s dead certain that he loves them an awful lot more than he admits. 

Aaron didn’t mind, he could watch Fast and Furious without his husband moaning, have an early night and starfish across the bed. Peace and quiet, and a whole pizza to himself (even if he does save half of it for when Robert inevitably stumbles in at three am). 

He doesn’t hear Robert come in, dead to the world from not having to fall asleep to kicking and snoring, but when he wakes up, there’s a warm body by his elbow and the faint smell of wine. 

It’s typical, honestly. Every time Robert goes out with Vanessa (and by extension, Charity), he ends up passed out until lunchtime, clothes either still on or in a haphazard trail leading to their bed. Once or twice, Aaron’s been woken up by the sounds of retching from the en suite, but he’s been on a drinking session with Charity. He’s been in Robert’s position more than once. 

That’s why he knows what to do. He shuffles out of bed and out of their room as quietly as possible, downstairs and into the kitchen. The smell of coffee wakes Robert up every day, so he turns on the fancy coffee maker and digs through the junk drawer for paracetamol and throws them on the counter. 

Always better to be prepared than to deal with a grumpy husband. 

He spots Robert’s shoes kicked off near the sofa and shakes his head, kicking them towards the door before someone – probably Robert – trips and breaks something. He’s a messy drunk, so Aaron decides it’s probably best he has a quick tidy up before the rest of the house wakes up. 

There’s slow, unsteady footsteps on the stairs as he spots the carrier bag on the sofa. It’s shoved behind a cushion, like Robert tried to hide it and failed, and curiosity gets the better of Aaron. Before he can think twice, he snatches the bag up and opens it. 

“Morning,” Robert croaks, dropping his head to Aaron’s back, leaving a light kiss on the collar of his t-shirt. He sounds awful, the hangover clearly in full swing, but thats not what’s captured Aaron’s attention. 

“Robert,” Aaron says uncertainly. He pulls his hand from the bag, delicately holding something… lacy? between his fingertips. He turns and brandishes them in Robert’s face, and the older man steps back sheepishly. “Is that… Is that lingerie?” 

“Oh god,” Robert groans, hiding his face in his hands. He’s flushed from the collarbones up, a deep red colour that makes Aaron seriously concerned for his health. “Charity must have snuck them in there when I wasn’t looking.” 

Aaron snorts, but he drops the knickers back into the carrier bag and gently tugs Robert’s hands away. “A likely story,” he teases softly, rising on his tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to Robert’s lips. 

“I know what I bought,” Robert insists, one arm slipping around Aaron’s waist and the other reaching for the bag. He pushes it at the younger man’s chest until he takes a hold of it. “Go on, have a look.” 

He reaches into the bag, fingers curling around something hard and rubbery. He knows exactly what it is and he freezes, glancing up at Robert’s lazy grin from beneath his lashes. “Is that-“ 

“Yeah,” Robert says, cutting Aaron off mid sentence. He kisses Aaron slowly, deep and dirty and the promise of something more, but then he steps back. 

“Wanna give it a go now?” Aaron asks, raising an eyebrow. He fists his hand in the back of Robert’s t-shirt and pulls him closer, until there’s barely a breath between them, but Robert laughs quietly and steps away. 

“Think I’ll wait until the hangover’s gone, thanks,” he says, already pouring himself a cup of coffee. He takes a long sip and groans with satisfaction, already looking more human. 

“And the lingerie?” Aaron asks, biting his lip and pulling them out of the bag again. Robert leans with his back against the counter, slowly drinking from his cup as he watches Aaron’s face. 

“Don’t think they’re your size,” he says, smirking over the rim of the mug. Aaron laughs – a little too loud judging by the way Robert winces against the sound. “Besides, god knows where they’ve been if they’re Charity’s.” 

The image is too much to bear and Aaron’s not proud of the shriek that escapes from his mouth, but he hurries over to the bin and drops them straight in. 

But it doesn’t matter, really. None of it matters. 

Not when Robert’s smiling like that, laughing without a care in the world.


	65. "are we matching? are we that couple now?"

“Aaron!” Robert bellows up the stairs, voice loud and demanding. It’s the kind of tone he uses when he wants Aaron to drop to his knees, but this is for a different reason entirely. “Get a move on!“ 

Really, it’s not Aaron’s fault that he’s late. It was Robert who decided to let him sleep in - the tiredness a result of a busy month at the scrapyard and Seb’s first tooth cutting through - so it’s his fault that Aaron isn’t ready yet. 

"I’m coming!” Aaron yells back, quickly shoving a jumper over his head. It’s the first clean smart thing he finds, because he doesn’t have the time to even think about wearing anything else. He takes the stairs two at a time, stopping at the bottom and waiting for Robert to turn around. Waiting for the inevitable go that Robert’s going to have. 

Instead, the older man checks him out, eyes raking appreciatively down his body, and then stops - dead still. 

“Seriously?” Robert says, gesturing loosely at Aaron’s jumper. He shakes his head and turns round to pick up his briefcase. “You chose that jumper?" 

"What’s wrong with it?” Aaron asks defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. There’s no way he has time to change, so he’ll just have to put up with Robert’s remarks through the meeting. 

Lovely. 

“It’s not- it’s not that,” Robert says slowly, not taking his eyes off Aaron’s face. His tone is careful, hesitant. “Did you… Did you do it deliberately?" 

Aaron takes a minute, glances at Robert’s jumper and then his own. Oh, so that’s it. They’re practically identical, these jumpers - Robert had smirked when he bought them, for a joke he’d said, and then made Aaron promise not to wear his on the same day. 

"Are we seriously matching?” Robert complain, huffing as he watches Aaron shove his shoes on. “Are we really that couple now?" 

"Well,” Aaron says, a little too gleefully. He links his arm through Robert’s and drags him out of the front door, still grinning. “Guess we’re just getting a head start, aren’t we?" 

He lets go of Robert’s arm and rounds the car to the passenger side, laughing at the look his husband is giving him. "Don’t know what you mean,” he mutters, unlocking the doors and getting in.

“See, I’ve got it all planned,” Aaron says, settling a hand on Robert’s thigh as they drive up the road. “Twenty years time: me, you, and two matching dog fleeces." 

"Aaron! We are not-” Robert starts, but Aaron drowns him out by turning the radio up, and leans back in his seat with a grin on his face.


	66. "happy anniversary."

It had been a long day. 

Seb had been sick since the start of the week, and now it had spread to the rest of the house. Thankfully, neither Aaron or Robert had caught it yet - they couldn’t imagine looking after three sick kids whilst feeling awful themselves. 

Aaron had to find cover for the scrapyard, and Robert called Nicola. She wasn’t happy about it, but he snapped that she had more than enough time off and it seemed to shut her right up. 

They’d wrestled the twins into bed by eleven, Seb already fast asleep, and Robert had shoved some chips in the oven so they could finally eat, and shared the quickest shower they’ve ever had. 

Honestly, whoever said kids were great clearly didn’t have any. 

“Hey,” Aaron whispers, reaching across the bed to cup Robert’s face in his palm. The older man smiles, tired but still so beautiful, and pushes into the touch. “Happy anniversary.“ 

“Is it?” Robert laughs. There’s bags under his eyes that have been there for days, and today’s the first time he’s had a shower since Seb caught the bug. Moments like this, when they’re a team, working together despite everything, is when Aaron probably loves him most. “I forgot." 

Robert looks ashamed, cheeks flushing red with it, but Aaron inches closer and plants a kiss on his lips. "We’ll celebrate at the weekend,” he promises, nestling his head on the older man’s chest.

Hopefully the kids will be healthy by then, he thinks. Maybe, if he asks nicely, Vic and Matty will babysit. He starts to drift off to sleep, half formulating plans in his head, when Robert mumbles, “I love you.”

He thinks he replies but he’s not sure, too busy dozing off in the safety of his husband’s arms to really take any notice of his own mouth. 

Robert knows, anyway.


	67. "stop sending me mixed signals!"

“I want you back,” Robert says calmly. There’s a bunch of flowers in his hand and a six pack of beer in the other, and he’s looking at Aaron like he’s decided. Like that’s it. 

Like they’re going to get back together. 

“And?” Aaron asks, boredom bleeding through his voice. He wants nothing more than to launch himself at Robert and kiss him, but it’s going to take a little more than that. 

Robert drops the flowers and the beer on the dining table next to them, and takes two step closer. He reaches out and takes Aaron’s hand, thumb smoothing over his knuckles, and then meets his eyes. 

“I love you,” he says, quiet and a little unsteadier than he sounded before. “I love you so much, Aaron. And- and I can’t let a stupid argument get in the way of that. It’s not worth it, you know it wasn’t. Is that what you want to hear?” 

“Yes,” Aaron breathes, but then almost immediately after: “I don’t know! No. No, it’s not what I want to hear! No!” 

Robert takes a step back, hand coming up to rub across his forehead like this is giving him a headache. He looks exhausted, Aaron notes. Bags under his eyes and hair a mess. It’s so different to what he’s used to. 

“Stop sending me mixed signals!” Robert finally snaps. Aaron doesn’t blame him, truth be told. He didn’t want to break up with Robert, he honestly didn’t. It’s just that- that sometimes, he gets scared and pushes people away. 

He and Robert had only been dating for a few months, but Aaron had fallen fast and hard. He was pretty sure he fell in love during their first date, what with the way Robert kept smiling at him. They’d started spending more and more time together, and he’d even met Chas and Paddy, for christ’s sake. 

And then Robert had told him he loved him, so Aaron backed right off. 

The very next argument they had – because they row like nobody’s business, despite (or maybe because of) how they feel about each other – Aaron had used it to his advantage. It was the perfect excuse, so he’d just come out with it. 

We’re done. 

And that was that. 

“Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours,” Robert whispers, stepping forward and cupping his palm around Aaron’s cheek. It’s so intimate, the touch, that Aaron can’t stop himself from leaning into it, tears pricking behind his eyelids. 

“I fell for you so quickly,” Aaron says, closing his eyes as tears slide down his cheeks. Robert thumbs them away as quickly as they come, soft touches that make Aaron’s spine shudder. “What if it’s not real?” 

He opens his eyes to Robert’s crooked smile, to the fond look on his face. “I think that’s what makes it real,” he counters, tugging Aaron in for a hug. 

Aaron waits until his shuddering sobs have subsided, tucking his nose into Robert’s throat and breathing in his scent. He missed it, he realises, those few (long) weeks that they were apart. He missed waking up to it, missed going to sleep with it. 

“Thank you,” he says eventually, voice small. He curls his fingers into the back of Robert’s shirt, because he doesn’t want to let go ever again. “For not giving up on me.” 

Robert guides them to the sofa and gently lowers them, keeping one arm around Aaron’s shoulders the whole time. He leans in and presses his lips to the younger man’s temple, a brief spot of warmth that stays, even after he’s moved away. 

“It’s because I love you,” Robert says simply - easily.


	68. the smell of blood.

Aaron slips through the open door to the barn, eyes scanning across the hay bales until he spots Robert. He’s tucked up in the corner, knees pulled up to his chest like he doesn’t want to be seen, but if that’s true, he wouldn’t be here.

He’s lost, but more than anything, he wants to be found.

“Hiya,” Aaron says softly, taking careful steps towards his boyfriend. Stray pieces of hay crunch under his feet, sunlight streaming in through gaps in the wooden slats and highlighting the dust dancing in the air. “Thought I’d find you here.”

Robert doesn’t say anything, just glances up with a tiny smile, tinged with sadness at the corners. He’s got a split lip and blood coating the side of his face, matted in his hair. 

“What happened?” Aaron asks, as if he doesn’t already know. As if Andy hadn’t answered the door up at Butler’s with a grim look on his face and bruised knuckles, telling him that Robert wasn’t in. “Do you want to talk about it?”

It’s probably not the right thing to say, but he doesn’t know if there is a right thing. Robert laughs, short and sharp and completely unkind, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t make an escape.

“What’s there to talk about?” Robert says. He sounds miserable, tone completely flat as he rests his chin on his knees. “It’s not like it’s anything new, is it?” 

That’s the truest thing Robert has ever said. He and Andy fight like cats and dogs at the best of times, but it’s all become even more fraught since Robert came out. The relationship between the two brothers – that weird, dysfunctional thing they pass off as a relationship – has been pulled tight like a rubber band, threatening to snap at any moment.

“Doesn’t matter,” Aaron says, but it’s not dismissive. He walks towards Robert, steps a little bolder this time, and stops right in front of him. There’s barely a hair’s width between them now, and Aaron can smell more than the hay. “I know it still hurts.”

Robert looks up with wide, wet eyes, chin trembling despite the way he tries to hide it. The blood on his head is still shining, the smell filling the air and sticking to all of Aaron’s senses.

It’s in his nose, making his head pound and eyes sting. On his tongue, cloying and metallic, making his throat dry. He’s smelt it way too often coming from Robert, and it punches him in the gut every single time; nausea and dread, and the purest form of sympathy.

“Just want you,” Robert admits, choking the words out like the vulnerability hurts him. He untucks his fingers from where they’re gripping his knees so tight his knuckles have turned white, and reaches up to Aaron, catching in the younger boy’s hoodie. “Just you.”

He sounds desperate, aching with it, and Aaron can’t stop the hole that opens up in his chest. He wants to climb inside Robert’s skin and fill up all the empty spaces until everything is okay, but.

But he can’t do that.

So he wraps his arms around Robert’s shoulders instead, guiding his head with gentle fingers until his head is resting against his stomach. He cards his fingers between blood matted hair, ignoring the wetness on his fingers and seeping through his hoodie, and holds Robert as tight as he can.

Because all they’ve really got, these days, is each other.


	69. finding old photographs you'd forgotten about.

Robert is sat at the table, back to the stairs with his head bowed. He looks incredible like this, the strong line of his shoulders visible through his t-shirt and the thin skin at the nape of his neck visible. Aaron wants to put his mouth there, to swipe his tongue over it. 

He’s looking at something, and when Aaron squints, he can see… pictures? Photographs, scattered across the table in front of Robert, as he studies them intently.

“What’s that?” Aaron asks, cupping his palm around Robert’s neck and squeezing. It does nothing to stave off the want inside of him, but it’ll do for now. At least, until he can drag Robert back upstairs to bed – not that it takes much convincing.

“Vic found these,” Robert says, voice somewhat distant as he keeps his concentration on the photos. He kicks the chair to his right out, an invitation for Aaron to sit down, and the younger man takes it. “She thought we’d like to look at them.” 

Aaron drags one of the pictures closer to him, careful to hold it by the edges. Photographs, for him, are better than his own memories. He’s always conscious of leaving greasy fingerprints.

“Oh,” he breathes quietly, dropping the picture back onto the table. He hasn’t seen these for years, but he hadn’t deleted them. Instead, he’d backed them up to the Cloud, hidden beneath hundreds of pictures of Leo and Scrappy and Adam, everyone else he could think of to crowd his mind instead of Robert. “Where did she find them?” 

“In the loft, ‘taking up space’,” Robert says, air quotes around the last three words as he pulls a face. It’s still more fond than anything else, though – the same way Aaron talks about his own sister.

He turns his attention back to the picture in front of him. It’s nothing suspicious, completely safe for family’s eyes – except for when it was taken. A hotel, somewhere just outside of Leeds, with expensive white sheets and a waterfall shower.

Robert had told Chrissie he had a convention, or something. Aaron wasn’t really listening, too busy dreaming about mapping miles of bare skin with his mouth. It was the later part of the affair; the part where Aaron had gone and fallen stupidly, irrevocably in love. 

All that’s visible it’s the lower half of their faces, Robert’s head turned until his mouth is pressed against the dark flash of Aaron’s beard. It could be anyone, really, but Aaron would know the freckles on that tanned skin instantly, and he can remember it being taken.

(”What’re you doin’?” Aaron asked, voice gruff from being woken by Robert nuzzling kisses into the curve his neck. The older man laughed, holding the phone in front of their faces and pressed his lips against Aaron’s cheek.

“Documenting the moment, obviously,” Robert said with a roll of his eyes, free hand tangling in Aaron’s hair and tugging gently. He snaps the picture, and then another, until the phone is lost in the bed between them and all thoughts of cameras disappeared).

“Do you regret it?” Robert asks quietly from Aaron’s side, shocking the younger man out of his memories. His fingers curl around Aaron’s wrist, pressing tight over his fluttery pulse. 

Aaron doesn’t know what he means, not specifically. It could be anything: hurting Chrissie, hurting Aaron’s family, Katie, and everything in between, but as a whole, it’s completely, entirely simple in Aaron’s head.

“No,” Aaron breathes, turning his head and meeting Robert’s eyes head on. The older man’s gaze is sincere, enough that it snatches Aaron’s breath right out of his lungs. “Not one bit.”


	70. napping in the sunshine.

Apparently, people have parties for their kids starting school. Robert never knew that, and he didn’t particularly want to know, but – Faith had insisted, showed him her Pinterest boards full of party decorations, and told him that her great-grandson deserved to have the best of times before all the work starts.

Unfortunately, Chas had got wind of the idea, and that’s why he has a garden full of Dingles and Sugdens, and whoever else decided to tag along.

It’s a warm August evening, sun shining brightly with a gentle breeze in the air. It should be winding down by now, because Liv took Seb upstairs for a nap half an hour ago and he’s out for the count, but getting their families to a party is like trying to herd cats.

“Alright?” Aaron asks softly, flopping down on the blanket next to Robert. He sits cross-legged, eyes trailing over the length of the older man’s stretched out body appreciatively. It’s tame, obviously – there are some things Chas doesn’t need to see.

Robert just hums back, closing his eyes against the glare of the sun. He’s too tired to untangle his sunglasses from his hair, and he considers asking Aaron to shift slightly so his shadow falls across Robert’s face, but he thinks he might get a punch for that.

Besides, he likes Aaron like this. Spending time with family makes him soft in a way that splits Robert in two, filled with nothing but aching love.

“You tired?” Aaron says, still quiet. He’s not glancing over his shoulder or rushing back to the barbecue, so he must’ve packed the food away for tonight. Good. Robert wants to spend a selfish few minutes with his husband. “The party went well, though.”

“Yeah,” Robert agrees, letting out a little contented sigh of relief as he feels Aaron lay down next to him. He seeks out the younger man’s hand in the space between them, tangling their fingers. Aaron’s skin is sun-warmed, and Robert wants to kiss it, but this isn’t the time nor place. “Just need five minutes rest.”

It’s a lie, because he can already feel his eyelids growing heavier. There’s a contentment in his chest, one that grows even more when Aaron shifts closer until their arms and thighs are pressed together.

Well, maybe a little nap won’t hurt. There’s nobody else in their bubble, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> send me prompts on tumblr @ [aarobron](http://aarobron.tumblr.com/) xo


End file.
